Which did almost stop when another toe, this time in Converse, nudged Jack in the thigh again.
We gently broke off the kiss and I turned to see another hand thrust at me. “Hey, I’m Chip. Guitar. Pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard next to nothing about you.”
Was he being sarcastic, meaning that Jack had talked about me non-stop? Or was he being factual, in that Jack had barely mentioned me?
I held out my hand to shake and said, “Hey Chip, I’m Eve. And I haven’t heard a lot about you either.”
Chip guffawed. “He hasn’t talked story to you? How about the exploding toilet at school? No? The time we put a roadkill possum in Animal’s drum set? No? If you haven’t heard all his best stories, you must really be distracting him!”
Jack cut in, gruffly, “Or, just maybe,Chip, I was trying to impress her and didn’t think that stories that made me sound like a juvenile delinquent would do the trick.”
Jack was trying to impress me? It sure didn’t seem like he was trying. It seemed like everything he did was effortless. And, yes, he did impress me. But it wasn’t because he flaunted money or fame. It was when he was funny and kind and thoughtful.
Jack waved Chip away and turned back to me. “Now where were we?” he said in a voice that felt like a silk scarf sliding down my back. His eyes were dark and intense. He looked like he planned on kissing me; possibly never stopping. I felt the heat of desire coming off him in waves. But we weren’t alone and now wasn’t really the time or place to take things further.
He kissed my neck and whispered into my ear, “It’s getting a little crowded in here. Shall we go find someplace more private?”
I stroked the side of his face, and he reached for me, hungrily. I leaned in and said softly, “I really should get going. This has been fun play time, but I’ve got a full day of adult things to do tomorrow.”
Running his thumb along my jawbone he murmured, “I can think of some adult things we can do tonight.” My stomach went tight, and I felt the heat rise in my face. He leaned forward and brushed his lips along my earlobe, sending jolts of sensation down my neck. “Very adult things,” he breathed into my ear.
My inner voice, the sensible one who’d almost gotten smothered by my hormones, was now shouting at me that this was a bad idea. That I couldn’t afford to take things further. He might be massively attracted to me right now, but that didn’t mean that he would be in the morning. Or next week. Or next year. I’d seen all the glamorous women he’d dated. I didn’t want to be someone he’d sleep with and never call again.
“Jack, I’ve really got to go.”
Despite his protests, I called a cab. Jack walked me out through a rear entrance, his arm still wrapped around my waist, still trying to persuade me to stay. As the cab pulled up, Jack left a fiery trail of kisses along my neck and then pulled back and looked me in the eyes, his thumbs caressing my cheeks. “Eve, don’t go. Come home with me.” Although I was sorely tempted, I pulled away. “Eve, it doesn’t have to be a big deal. Just come home with me and have some fun.”
Not a big deal.
I felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over me.
The cabbie honked as the spell broke. I stepped back abruptly and shook my head. “I can’t Jack. It’s been an amazing night, but it’s got to end. I can’t.” I gave him a tight smile then turned and got into the cab.
The last look at Jack’s face showed he was hurt and confused. I gave the cabbie my address then leaned back against the seat and took deep breaths, trying to slow down my racing heart. What had almost happened?
Chapter 17
I slept fitfully that night. Tossing, turning, trying to get comfortable, remembering Jack’s amazing kisses, the thrill of his hands on me, the electric shocks I’d get wherever he touched me. The intensity of his eyes.
But his words threw ice water over all of it.
Not A Big Deal.
How could he say that? I’d been seriously tempted to go home with him. To just give in and enjoy being with him. If those kisses were just a preview of coming attractions, I know it would have been amazing. Wonderful. But to give myself to him when he thought it would not be a big deal? It would be a very big deal, to me. But clearly not to him. I was right to hold him at arm’s length, emotionally. He’d just told me that he had no intention of us ever being a couple, of having a real relationship.
I had been mistaken before. I’d thought that I’d been in a real relationship. I’d thought we’d loved each other. But I’d been wrong, and it had taken me so long to heal from that devastation. In a way, Jack was doing me a kindness; spelling it out ahead of time, so I could save myself the heartache of loving him and finding out I meant nothing more to him than a passing fancy.
At 4:30 I gave up the pretense of sleeping, got up, pulled on my workout clothes and went to the gym. It was nice to have it almost empty. I got the pick of the weight machines and then logged several miles on my favorite treadmill. Yes, technically, they were all the same, but the one second from the right was mine.
I came home, showered and dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt and went grocery shopping. I enjoyed the zen of pushing a cart up and down the aisles, letting my mind go blank, only thinking about my shopping list. Cottage cheese. I would not think about Jack. Orange juice. I would not think about sitting on his lap, with his arms around me. Lettuce. I tried not to shiver as the memory of his kisses on my neck caused my goosebumps to erupt. Focus, Eve. Udon noodles. Udon noodles. Did I need udon noodles? Whatareudon noodles? I gave up and took my meager groceries home.
I put away the groceries and realized it was time for my weekly call to Grandmère. I tried to call her every Sunday and give her an update on my life. I knew she was especially interested in my love life. Ever since the debacle of LCB she’d been concerned that I would end up old and alone.
“Bonjour ma petite!” she answered, with her usual warmth. Hearing her voice always felt like getting a hug from her.
“Bonjour, Grandmère, how are you doing?”
“I am well, sweetheart. How are you?”
