“Tell me to leave,” I command. “Tell me you don’t want to know where I’ve been. Tell me we’re done.”
She doesn't say anything, but her eyes swell with tears. “Or, you can go back there and put an end to whatever that is and leave this place with me.” I hold her gaze, reading the secrets they hide. I can see right through them, because my Hailey is still there, and I will relentlessly try to get her to forgive me.
“I—” she starts to say, but then she stops. She just stares. I look past her to the countdown. Two minutes.
Two minutes, and the place will be chaos.
Two minutes, and the spell breaks.
Two minutes, and everything can change again, just like it did five years ago.
But this decision cannot be mine. I fucked up, I know; it’s up to her if I can be forgiven, but hell if I won’t go down trying.
I step closer, taking in her citrus scent and the electricity coursing through my veins. “Lose him, Hailey,” I whisper, my lips brushing the shell of her ear.
“I’ll be out there.” I point to the exit. “I’ll wait for three minutes, one past the shrimp drop. If you’re not out there, it’ll be the confirmation I need that our time has passed and what could’ve been will stay like that.”
“Ash.” I bring my finger to her pretty, soft lips, stopping her.
“I read your letters.” Surprise flashes through her eyes, as ephemeral as this day has been. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I also know you told me I’m worthy of being loved.”
I blink fast and hard. “Did you mean it?”
Her defensive head shake punctures my chest, but before I can say anything, she closes her eyes tightly and nods. “Of course I meant it.” Her words are so soft and so quiet, I almost miss them.
“Then show me how. Please.” I lift my hand to touch her velvet skin, but I force myself away.
“Three minutes, Hales.” I walk away from her, hoping I made the right decision. Hoping whatever this is between us will last longer, even if living in another state, across the country, will be a problem.
I sit and wait by the double doors, letting the breeze carrying the scent of the ocean wrap me up while I feel hollow inside. The crowd erupts into cheers inside, and I look at my watch. Happy New Year and Happy Birthday to me. I let the true countdown begin, the one that will let me know if I have to fly back to Alaska with the other piece of my soul here or if I'll get to tell her how much she means to me instead. 12:02, my watch reads, and I get my answer. She’s not coming. She’s better off without me, as everyone always is.
I get up, push off the wall, and walk toward the road. I hope I can find a cab that will lead me back to where I came from. I should be angry. At myself, at life, at the situation. At loving someone at the wrong place and the wrong time.
I should be, but I’m not. Because meeting Hailey changed my life, gave me something I never had before. It gave me meaning beyond work. It gave melifeagain.
“Happy Birthday, Ash,” Hailey’s broken voice whispers from behind me. It’s loud enough for me to know it’s her but low enough that I can sense the fear behind it. I turn to find her out of breath, standing by the wall where, just seconds ago, I was.
“Hales,” I whisper back, and she runs until she leaps right into my arms.
She smells exactly the same. Like lemons and comfort. Like oranges and home. Her face is buried in my neck, and with muffled words, she says, “You have some explaining to do.”
I wrap my arms tighter around her and nod. “I do.”
“And groveling.”
“I can do that,” I reply, not dropping her from my arms. This hug feels like safe harbor from a storm. Being this close to herfeels like the missing piece, and having her in my arms feels like coming home.Home, a word cursed before that now could mean everything I never knew to be possible.
“Thank you for giving me the chance to tell you.” I put her down and hold her face, brushing her bangs away from her eyes and tracing her cheek with my thumb.
“Can we get out of here?” I ask, and she nods, getting her keys out of the small purse in her hands.
“But you drive, because I’ve been drinking.”
I hold her hand and walk us through the parking lot, hitting the unlock button until I find her car. An SUV, not the van she drove last time I saw her.
“Nice ride.”
“It was time. I’m not anywhere near the soccer mom I thought I would be by now, so why not?” She shrugs, taking the passenger seat.
