I’m about to drop my efforts to find her, give up my last little bit of hope and walk away, when I see her. Wearing a beautiful silver dress with a deep v between her perfect breasts and sporting a smile I wish I was the reason for, Hailey stands in front of me.
She hasn’t seen me yet, but I see her, dancing and smiling and . . . grinding her ass on a man. A man who has his hands all over her.She found someone else.
Of course she did. She’s smart and funny and kind and beautiful. She loves her people wholeheartedly and she’s a hard worker. Anyone would be lucky to be with her. I was just too dumb to see it.
Her eyes open for the first time, following the drop in tempo, and when she looks up, there are storm clouds in themwhen she meets mine. Hailey drops her hands to the side and immediately stops dancing. She looks just as torn as I feel, and I simultaneously love and hate it.
I step closer, moving so painfully slow, like my hands are in agony wanting to be near her.
Just like my heart and soul have felt for the past year and a half without seeing her, without talking to her.
This is exactly what I was afraid of: that my love for the sea and my love for Hailey would come to a crossroads where I had to pick. I picked the former while missing the latter. Missing her more than I thought possible.
Missing her more than I can bear.
Each step brings me closer to her, but she doesn’t move. She doesn’t do anything. She just stands there and blinks, as if she’s trying to convince herself she really can see me.
Just before I reach her, she turns around, says something to the guy she was dancing with, and speedwalks out of the ballroom.
Are you here with him, Hales, or was this just a dance?
Did I already lose you without a chance to fight?
I follow her, like the man on a mission I am, but before she can slip away, I hold her arm. “Hales.”
She pivots on her heels, snapping her eyes to mine—eyes filled with pure fury and anger. “Don’t!”
“Don’t what?” I ask.
“Show up here and look all happy to see me.” Her tone is like nothing I’ve heard from her before. She’s mad, rightfully so, but damn if it’s not endearing to see sweet Hailey so worked up.
“I am, though. Happy to see you that is.”
“Asher . . . it’s been, what? A year and a half?”
“Eleven months since I last talked to you and twenty months since I last saw you,” I add, trying to keep my voice from shaking.
I’ve been counting—has she? Do I have the right to ask? Probably not.
“A lot can change in twenty months,” she says, and I nod.
“I know. I have.” I have, but deep down, I’m just as in love with her as I was all those months ago. I just finally decided to set my fear aside and tell her.
I don’t deserve her, I know that, but I will die trying. “But my feelings for you haven’t,” I continue. “My feelings for you are ever-growing while remaining grounded in one, simple truth.”
Hailey throws her hands in the air and steps away from me, walking toward the bathroom that started it all. I let her but follow closely behind. I’m not missing the chance to speak to her. She doesn’t make it to the bathroom, though; she stops, takes a deep breath, and turns around.
“You know what? No, I’m not going in there with you. I refuse to let you put me in the same spiral I was in for almost two damn years.” She brings her hands to her hips. “I’m happy, Asher. Can you just be happy for me and let me be?”
“Are you, though? Truly happy?” I close the space between us and lower my voice so she not only hears it in her ears, but deep within her soul too.
“With who? Him?” I point the way we both came.
“I am.” Her reply feels as shallow as a mud puddle. She’s clearly lying, but is she lying to me or herself? Or both.
“Then why can’t you look me in the eyes when you say that, huh?” She keeps her eyes on her feet because she knows—she knows I’ll see the truth.
“Look at me, Hales.” When she doesn't, I bring my fingers to her chin and lift her face up until her beautiful greys crash with mine.
