“I see Jemma nicked my whiskey. I must put it away. Raj, Ben, why don’t you join me for a dram before you both retire.” Theo hoped his offer would sound as genuine as he meant it since he included Raj. He didn’t want Ben to think he faced the inquisition, but he wanted to understand what stood between Jemma and him.
“Lady Vinita, thank you for taking care of my wound. I appreciate your kindness.” He didn’t know what to make of the older woman darting her gaze to Jemma before meeting his.
“Of course. You’re a brave young man, and we all owe you a debt of gratitude.” While Vinita hadn’t seen Ben and Jemmatogether as they ran from the assembly hall, Theo’d voiced his concerns when he’d doubled back to get her after he was certain Jemma, Charlie, and the girls were safely away with Raj and their sons guarding them. She’d remained behind to make it look like their family stayed since she was the most recognizable, and no one would believe Theo would abandon her.
Vinita and Jemma stayed behind to clean the kitchen, and the younger boys went to their chambers. Ben followed Raj and Theo, but Raj excused himself to fetch Ben a shirt since they were a similar size. Ben entered Theo’s study, a place he’d been plenty of times. But he didn’t feel as at ease as he always had in the past. Theo stood before the fire, his backside to it as Ben walked to a settee but didn’t sit. He would stand as long as he lasted, which might only be a few minutes. He felt nauseous from the pain and blood loss.
“What happened with Jemma tonight?”
Chapter Three
Ben wished he could plead the pain in his arm meant he couldn’t talk, but as much as it hurt, it was clear he was capable of carrying on a conversation despite persistent pain. He wouldn’t divulge the most intimate moments of his time alone with Jemma, but he would disabuse her father of his misguided belief that Ben saw his daughter as anything less than perfect for him.
“I followed Jemma out because I saw leave alone and without her cloak. I feared there were more men lurking outside, and I didn’t want her walking home alone. Before the raid, Charlie and I spoke, and she made me aware of something I never realized. When I met Jemma on the beach that day, she took my breath away. Not just her beauty but her spirit. I wished I had more time to talk to her, but I had to leave with my father and brother to meet with you. My father warned me Jemma’s a princess and far too high above my station. The next time I saw her, I was too heartsore to speak to her. Instead, I was a coward and asked another girl to dance. After that, it felt like too much time passed to explain my reason. It wasn’t until tonight when Charlie explained what Jemma must have thought—what your family must think—that I realized how gravely I erred. Your daughteris intelligent, caring, funny, challenging, independent, and yes, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. It was never once that I believed she was unworthy of me. I’m unworthy of her.”
Theo watched the young man, and he’d suspected social status had played a part in the beginning. However, Ben never asked Jemma to dance, always partnering with his sister or other young women who always seemed to blend together to Theo. He eventually concluded the same thing Jemma had. It had pained him to observe Jemma watching Ben, clearly wishing they would speak or dance. But he’d also witnessed Ben watching Jemma, and he couldn’t reconcile why the young man was brave enough to smuggle and ferry contraband, flouting the British government, but couldn’t find the courage to speak to one young girl unless he didn’t have genuine feelings for her. He assumed Ben thought her alluring because she was different, perhaps good enough for a dalliance but not good enough for marriage.
Ben grew anxious as Theo observed him. He wanted to squirm, but he forced himself to remain still. It embarrassed him to know Theo assessed him and likely found him lacking. He wanted to prove to Theo that he cared about Jemma and would provide for her, even if he was only a baronet’s second son.
“Lady Vinita is a princess, but not in the way we see them in Britain. India is much like Wales was in some ways, a country made up of principalities. While my wife and her sisters weren’t royals as we think of the word, they were nobility of the highest order. When Lady Vinita and I met, I was a lowly officer in the East India Company. I hadn’t inherited a title, so I was merely Theodore Rowe. It was Rajesh’s grandfather who was an earl. He descended from a lineage appropriate to wed a princess. I fell in love with Lady Vinita, but I feared her father would reject me for being both English and lesser nobility. Even that’s contentious as plenty believe baronets aren’t nobility since we aren’t partof the peerage. I understand your misapprehension that your lack of rank made you unsuitable. But Lady Vinita, and in turn Jemma, don’t see themselves as princesses. Jemma never grew up as one. It’s unfortunate your father’s concern and attempt to protect you from disappointment was misguided.”
“Then you don’t see me too far below Jemma to be a potential suitor? You understand my hesitation was never about Jemma’s appearance or her place of birth?”
“I do now, and you’ve never been below Jemma. You’re both children of baronets.”
“That’s what Jemma said. She doesn’t see herself as anything but a baronet’s daughter. It shocked her to realize why I’d kept my distance, and I deeply regret not explaining sooner.”
“It’s a misunderstanding that’s easily understood. It stands to reason why you might admire each other, but neither of you felt you could approach the other.”
“Would you allow me to court Jemma?”
Theo considered Ben’s question. He knew what Jemma wanted because she’d avoided any discussion of marriage unless he forced it upon her. Then she was evasive and unwilling. He would never coerce her into an arranged marriage. He wanted his children to find the happiness he and Vinita had.
“I will allow it. How long do you believe you need to discover whether you suit?”
Ben swallowed. He was certain Theo knew he and Jemma did more than just talked. If Ben suggested too short a time, he feared Theo would assume they needed to wed with haste. But neither did he wish to appear like he dragged his feet.
“I believe we already suit, and I think Jemma feels the same. I’m asking to court her, so I might spend time with her before we wed. But I don’t need time to discover whether I wish to marry her. I know I do.”
“Will you continue to trade and ferry goods once you have a wife and possibly children?”
“There’s no one else for me to hand the responsibility over to, so it means I can’t stop. I don’t want to jeopardize Jemma’s safety, and I don’t want to leave her a young widow. But it’s not as simple as merely walking away.”
“What would you do if you weren’t a smuggler?”
“I’d farm.” Ben nearly winced at his proclamation. He didn’t mean he intended to stand knee-deep in soil every day and expect Jemma to be a poor peasant wife who worked alongside him. “I mean, I’d be a gentleman farmer. I’ve saved my shares of the profits since I started and can provide for Jemma and a family. I’ve invested wisely with Raj over the past year, and I prosper from my brother-in-law’s legal ventures as well as the smuggling. I can buy a farm and employ men to toil on it. I enjoy being outdoors, and I would spend time in the fields too. But I can offer Jemma more than just cabbages and potatoes.”
“Did you discuss this with her tonight?”
“No. It was far too cold and dangerous for any extended conversation. I want to discuss it with her sooner rather than later. If she’d rather a different lifestyle, then I will adjust my plans to include hers.”
“And if she doesn’t want to be a gentleman farmer’s wife? What then?”
“Then I will buy a ship from Raj and strike out with my own venture. He knows captains he trusts, so I would have one of them sail for me. I would financially support the voyages and become a trader like Raj has been for years.”
“Would you sail?”
“No. I enjoy being in boats and have since I was a child and Father used to take me fishing with him. But I don’t crave the adventure of the high seas. I don’t want to be away from Jemma that long. I want a life with her as my wife, and I can’t do thatif I’m never in the same place as her.” Ben shifted his gaze to the closed study door and wondered where Raj was. He also wondered what Jemma was doing. “Do you know what Jemma wants?”
