“No. We’ve always assumed she’d become a nobleman’s wife and likely live at least part of the year in London.” Theo knew that did little to reassure Ben that his lack of a title as a second son wasn’t the impediment the young man feared. “Jemma would be far happier with the life you described. London holds little appeal to her, and she prefers to spend her days outdoors.”
A tap on the door paused their conversation as Theo bade whoever knocked to enter. Raj stuck his head around the door. The new arrival shifted his gaze between the two men as he entered the room. He approached Ben and handed over a fresh shirt.
“Indira had a bad dream. She feared men would chase us here and storm the manor. It took a story from both Charlie and me to settle her.” Raj continued to watch the men as walked to the settee while Theo poured three glasses of whiskey. Each man sipped in silence before another knock had all three looking toward the door.
“Papa, I came to let Ben know there’s a chamber ready for him on the third floor. Mama has some laudanum if the pain grows too unbearable.” Jemma held up a bottle in one hand and a spoon in the other. Ben loathed how he felt on the medicine, but he crossed the room to accept both from Jemma. He wouldn’t appear ungracious, and he craved being close to her again. He wished her hand was in his as it had been in the kitchen. But he would have much preferred she be in his arms again like earlier that night.
“Thank you, Jem.” Ben took the bottle and spoon from her. When he did, the stitches in his right arm pulled, and he smothered his yelp. He glanced at the medicine and consideredwhether a dose to numb the persistent pain was worth the headache he would inevitably have. It sorely tempted him since a restful night’s sleep would do him worlds of good, but he was unlikely to have it if his discomfort continued to grow as it had been since he sat up from the table.
Jemma had assumed Raj would have already brought a shirt to Ben. She hadn’t anticipated he’d still be bare from the waist up. She disliked seeing the bandage wrapped around his upper arm. She peeked at it, reassuring herself no blood seeped through it. Nothing she said couldn’t reach her relatives’ ears, but she kept her voice low.
“Is there anything you need before you retire? There are two pillows on the bed already, but if you need another to put under your elbow, I can fetch it. There’s already a fire in the grate, and the room has warmed. It should be comfortable, but if you should need another blanket or something?—”
Ben put the spoon and bottle in his right hand and reached out to rest his left hand on her wrist. He gave it a quick squeeze and swept his thumb over the top before letting go. He wanted to slide his hand into her and entwine their fingers, but it was impossible with Theo and Raj watching them.
“Jemma, I’m certain you’ve already thought of everything I might need. I’m sorry I scared you tonight.” She lowered her gaze and nodded. Ben waited for her to say something—anything—to let him know she hadn’t changed her mind about them after realizing the danger Ben regularly faced. “Jemma?”
“Hmm? Oh, um, sorry. I was woolgathering.” Her smile was short-lived, but it was the saucy one Ben loved. He grinned at her reminder of their first conversation when she’d overheard Ben’s father telling his son to stop staring at her. They grew quiet, and Ben expected her to excuse herself, but she made no move to leave. Her brow furrowed as she once more stared at her shoes. Ben glanced over his shoulder. Theo looked unconvincedof the soundness of his decision as he walked toward them. Raj followed, and both men stopped when they reached the couple.
“Jemma, do you need to speak to Ben?”
“Yes, Papa.” Her voice quivered, and Ben reached for her, uncaring that he shouldn’t touch her since they weren’t even courting let alone not betrothed. When Jemma wrapped her arms around his waist, he encircled her with his good arm. The moment her head touched his chest, she burst into tears. Theo and Raj slipped from the room, but Theo left the door wide open. He shot Ben a glare that promised castration if Ben didn’t behave as a gentleman should.
The younger man nodded before guiding Jemma to the settee. He looked back through the portal and saw no one nearby. He sat, then pulled Jemma onto his lap before she could take a seat next to him. He stroked her back as she cried. Her tears came heavy and fast but ended as abruptly as they started. Her palm ran up his bare ribs and over his chest as her cheek rested against the smooth, heated skin.
“What do you need, sweetling?” Ben whispered against her forehead.
“A few more minutes with you to convince myself you really are hale and that no one will take you.”
“I’m not going anywhere tonight.”
“But you’ll leave in the morning.” Jemma didn’t care for how morose she sounded, but it was how she felt. She feared for him with his injury, but she didn’t want to watch him leave when they’d finally admitted they wanted the same thing.
“That’s unlikely now that I can think more clearly. I need to wait a day or two since those men will expect me to flee. I’m fearful they’ll seize all the goods. I need to remain out of sight and out of mind until they move onto something else.”
“That’s wise.” Jemma wished that weren’t his only reason to stay.
“Sweetling, that’s the excuse I’ll give everyone else. I don’t want to leave you.” He watched her tilt her chin up, and he leaned forward to proffer a kiss. It began as a brush of the lips, but it wasn’t long until her arms slid around his neck, and he tightened his hold around her waist.
He flicked his tongue against her lips, and she opened to him, remembering what she’d learned earlier that night. She welcomed his invasion, sucking softly on his tongue. She didn’t know what possessed her, but it seemed like the natural response to his questing tongue. Her fingers wove through his hair as his right hand rested on her hip. The medicine and spoon were forgotten on the settee next to where Jemma curled her legs to rest her feet. The hand on his uninjured arm caressed along her back and her outer arm as she melted against him. He would gladly remain like this all night.
Jemma lost herself to the kiss, forgetting she sat in her family’s home on a man’s knee to whom she wasn’t even betrothed. Anyone could walk in and find them, but she cared not. Too many years of dreams just like this scene made impossible for her to pull away. From the hunger she tasted in Ben’s kisses, she understood he felt the same way. He held her tight against his body, and she loved the way he made her feel cherished and safe, along with aroused. She’d lusted for him for years, but she underestimated the strength of her ardor before she knew what it was like to kiss him. But it was like for him to kiss her.
When they pulled apart, they stared at each other before they both smiled like the cats that got into the cream. They rested their foreheads together and both felt calmer than they had all night. Jemma pressed a kiss to his cheek and cupped his jaw.
“Do you think Papa would let one of my brothers go with you?”
“Jemma, even if he would, I don’t want that. I don’t want your brothers in danger. Right now, it would be best for me to ride alone.”
“So there’s only one target.” Jemma’s lips thinned before she continued. “There was only one target tonight, and they hit it. If someone’d been with you, they could have shot back while he handled the horses.”
“Or there would be two people with bullet wounds and no guarantee they wouldn’t both be dead.” Ben eased Jemma away from his, so they could see each other more easily. “I would never, ever forgive myself if someone in your family got hurt defending me. I could never look you in the eye if I was the cause.”
“You wouldn’t be. We’re from smuggling families. We all know what’s at stake. Anyone who goes on a run knows the risks.”
“Exactly. I won’t ask your brothers to face that.”
Jemma’s shoulders drooped. She didn’t want her brothers facing loaded muskets, or worse, have their backs to them. She knew she couldn’t ask Raj to go because Charlie was with child, and he had two orphaned nieces who depended on him. As she considered that, her brow furrowed.
