“That doesnae mean I wouldnae have done ma best by ye and our bairn. I would have learned and tried until I got it right.” Thor’s dark chocolate eyes filled with such sorrow and remorse that Greer regretted for the umpteenth time that she didn’t contact Thor, but she continued to believe she’d done the right thing to protect him.
“I ken that now, but I couldnae be sure back then. I never had the chance to imagine it.”
“Will ye tell me what happened after the battle?”
CHAPTER6
Greer shifted to look Thor in the eyes without straining. She cupped his cheeks and titled his head up, so their gazes remained locked.
“All of them are dead now, Thor. They died in the last battle or when they refused to renounce Edgar. None are left. Ye dinna have to track them and avenge me.”
“Then what do I do with this rage, Greer? What do I do with this feeling of failure and disgust that I wasna the mon ye thought I was?”
“Ye love me instead.”
She leaned forward and brought their mouths together. Thor cupped her face just as she did his.
“Always, Greer. Can ye do the same for me?”
“I already do.”
This was a tender declaration of what was still so fragile. Their truce. Their rediscovery of each other and their enduring love. The declaration of their need to repair their relationship. When they pulled apart, they rested their foreheads together.
“After Mitchell noticed ma ring, and he told Edgar, everything changed. Edgar had the midwife examine me. She kenned I wasna a virgin anymore, but she didna ken I was carrying. At least, she didna tell me. He’d seen ye on the battlefield, and he kenned we’d talked after. I didna ken someone followed me when I sneaked out. The guard told Edgar that things ended badly between us. That night was the first time he forced himself on me.”
Thor thought he was going to be ill. He looked around for the chamber pot. He picked Greer up and practically dumped her onto the chair she’d first sat in before he rushed across the room. He barely made it to the massive bowl in time. He heaved until there was nothing left to come up but bile. He wiped his perspiring brow on his sleeve, unprepared for a sprig of mint to appear beneath his nose.
“Was it every night for eight years?”
Greer shook her head.
“Was it other men every night for eight years?”
“Nay, Thor. I dinna ken if I can ever tell ye all of it. I dinna want—”
“Wee one, I willna turn away from ye again. Naught that ye tell me will ever push me to make the same mistake twice.”
“It will disgust ye.”
“Was there a mon ye cared aboot?”
Greer’s face blanched before it flushed red. Thor could have kicked himself.
“Nay. Are ye jealous?”
“Nay. Good God, nay. I hoped there might have been someone who was kind to ye, who might have cared enough to—I dinna ken. Someone ye cared enough aboot that it wasna all Hell on Earth.”
“Ye wished me to love someone else?”
“Nay.” Thor’s answer was immediate. “But ye deserved it. Ye should have had someone to protect ye, to take care of ye at least a little. Some time of solace. If I’d kenned, Greer, naught would have kept me from coming to ye.”
“And ye would have died for it. Albert could have gotten word to ye. I could have told Rose. But I could endure as long as ye were safe.”
“Nay… Nay, Greer… Nay.” Thor shook his head as he fought for each word. “Yer scars. Who did that?”
“I wish ye hadnae seen those.”
Thor chewed a sprig of mint quickly before dropping it into the chamber pot. He led Greer back to the fireplace. He thought about his words more than he ever had in his life, and he still feared he would misstep.
