“Kitty?”
Catherine recognized the warning, so she looked at him unrepentantly. “It’s still for only yer mouth. At least the important part.”
“Kitty,” Rab hissed.
“I’m certain ye werenae a virgin when I met ye, and I dinna think ye played one between gatherings. I—”
“I wasna, but I did.”
“What?” Catherine’s brow furrowed.
“After the second gathering, I thought I was already courting ye. At least, in ma mind I was. I kenned I wanted nay one else. I wasna with another woman until more than a year after the last time I saw ye.”
Catherine could only stand and blink. She never imagined Rab choosing celibacy. She’d been jealous of imaginary women, envious that they did with Rab what she wished to learn from him. It took her a long moment to gather her thoughts.
“I never—” Kitty cleared her throat, now suddenly shy to admit what she’d explored with Edgar and what she hadn’t. “Ma eyes and ma hands may ken more than they once did, but ma mouth doesnae.”
“Kitty, ye dinna have to tell me this.”
“I ken. I’m certain ye dinna want to hear it either. I ken ye canna say the same, but I accepted that long ago. It surprises me to nay end that ye went without a woman for so long.”
“I didna want anyone else. It didna feel right the few times I considered it, so I abandoned the thought, always waiting to visit with ye at the next gathering. I pined for ye, but I didna miss it like I expected. Instead, I trained more.”
Catherine chuckled and Rab joined in. “I’m certain Douglan didna appreciate that. I’m guessing he was on the receiving end of yer frustrations.”
“Aye, but he caused them as much as going without did.”
“Rab, I wish I could go back and—”
Rab cut Catherine off with a kiss. “I’m more than a wee jealous, but I dinna wish for ye to regret aught ye did during the time we were apart. I dinna love that I ken the mon who introduced ye to passion, but I also ken I’m nae the one who will live with a reminder just beyond our bailey wall. Besides, having a bride with a little knowledge isnae wholly unappealing.”
Catherine barely caught what Rab said at the end. Her mind became mired in imagining inevitably meeting Katherine, likely running into her nearly every day until one of them died. She nodded, but Rab sensed her withdrawal.
“Kitty, do ye remember when I started calling ye that?”
“Of course. Several of us went out for a hunt on foot. Even Catriona was there. None of us foresaw the storm rolling in. It simply appeared. It drenched us within seconds, and we took shelter in that cave. I was shivering so hard I frightened ye. Ye wrapped yer plaid around me and held me against ye side. I said I must look like a drowned kitten, and ye said that ye’d tend to me well past me being a cat.” Catherine sucked in a breath as understanding dawned on her. “Ye were trying to tell me then that ye wished to marry me. That ye wished to have me for years to come. I’d merely thought the pet name was wonderful. I didna understand the rest.”
“I was. I knew even then that I intended to protect ye and take care of ye until ma last breath. I would shield ye from ma past if I could, and I will do what I can. But I wanted ye by ma side then, and I want ye there now. I want to make ye happy, keep ye safe, love ye.”
Catherine nodded. “I want the same, Rab. I always have. I was warm and nearly dry by the time the storm ended, but ye were nearly frozen solid from giving me all yer heat. I feared ye catching the ague from being wet and cold for so long.”
“Aye. I have never eaten as much or drunk as much mulled wine as I did when we all returned to the keep. Ye wouldnae cease feeding me.” Rab kissed Catherine’s forehead. “I thought ye were attentive by nature, but I realize now that Óg was with us, and ye barely spared him a glance. Ye were taking care of me.”
“And I always will. I want to make ye happy, keep ye safe, love ye.” Catherine stretched again and kissed Rab. This time the kiss drew out, once more loving as they both reminisced as much as enjoyed the present. “I ken Óg realized what was between us because I forgot aboot him.”
“This willna please him. What if he signs a betrothal soon?”
“As much as he may try to seem commanding, he’d never agree to marrying me to a mon who is sure to make me miserable. He never could and especially nae now. Besides, it isnae his decision. He will have to tell ma uncle, who will decide. Óg can act on Mòr’s behalf to sign the contracts, but he wouldnae dare make the agreement alone.” Catherine’s buoyant mood deflated as she remembered losing her aunt and cousins once again. Rab lifted her chin and kissed the tip of her nose.
“Are we in agreement that we wish to court?”
“Aye. Are we in agreement that ye will nae hie yerself off to Edinample yet?”
“Aye,” Rab grumbled. “I will do as ye wish, but I’m nae happy aboot that part. It doesnae sit right with me.”
“And it doesnae sit right that ye end what’s been a good relationship if there isnae a reason to.”
“I usually admire yer practical nature, but I’m nae so fond of it right now.”
