“What? Isn’t this side easier on your arm?”
“I won’t sleep with my back to the door and have you closer to it. I can’t prevent one, but I can solve the other. Switch with me, Caity.” Once Caitlyn slid across the bed, Alex laid down on top of the covers. He prayed Caitlyn would face away from him because he didn’t trust himself to withstand the temptation not to kiss her. She lay on her back for a long moment before she turned her head toward Alex.
“Do you want me to open the curtain enough for the firelight to shine in?” Caitlyn whispered.
“No. You deserve the little privacy you have, with me in here.”
Caitlyn made to argue but swallowed her words, choosing instead to offer Alex a warm smile. “Alex, before everything went to hell, I had a wonderful day. I realize it wasn’t easy for you, but you did it for me. Thank you.” Caitlyn leaned to kiss his cheek, but he leaned to do the same, making their mouths brush against one another. Her cool fingers slid along his chest until they wrapped around his neck. He twisted to rest his weight on his right forearm as his body hovered over hers. But he grew frustrated when he couldn’t touch her because his one working arm bore his weight. Sensing his annoyance, Caitlyn pressed him back until she could drape her body over his. His warm palm covered one globe of her backside.
Their kisses grew more heated as Caitlyn shifted to straddle Alex’s thigh. Her breath hitched as the pressure from her weight pressing her onto Alex’s muscular leg rubbed her mound against him. Curious about the sensations, she rocked her hips. Alex’s fingers bit into Caitlyn’s bottom as he guided her to move against him. She felt the air brush the back of her legs as Alex gathered her chemise in his fist. She kicked the bed covers down to their feet while her right hand trailed over his chest until she cupped his rod. Need and frustration grew as Caitlyn tried to get closer to Alex, but his breeks were in the way. She rubbed her hand over his length, and she heard as much as felt his groan.
Pulling away, Caitlyn pressed her lips close to Alex’s ear. “Make love to me, fuck me, do whatever, but be with me, Alex. Just once.”
Alex’s arm tightened around Caitlyn as though he might never let her go, even though his words meant the opposite. “If I could be sure without a doubt that I could marry you tomorrow, I would. I’d bury myself within you and not pull out until the sun comes up. But the attack today was aboot me as much as the one in the passageway. I won’t die and leave you without a maidenhead and no way to marry.”
“I don’t want to marry anyone else.”
“That might be true now, but once I was dead, you’ll think otherwise.”
“Once?” Caitlyn pushed away from Alex. “Do you intend to let them kill you? Are you giving up?”
“I’m being realistic that they might succeed. I’m scared for you, Caity. I’m scared to have you too close lest they hurt you, too. And I fear what would happen to you if I took your virginity, then died. Your mother and father might understand, but few grooms would. I know you wish for a family of your own.”
“Of our own,” Caitlyn corrected. “I’ve never wanted—not even imagined—having a family with anyone but you.”
“We already know—”
“You are the only one who seems to know everything, Alex. You’ve decided how everyone else’s life will be, even though you feel you have no control over yours. You’ve decided your father will pass you over. You’ve decided Brice will take your place. And you’ve foisted me off onto some unknown suitor.” Caitlyn grasped her chemise and pulled it to her waist as she straddled Alex’s hips. She pressed her sheath against his sword. “I’ve decided I want one night in your arms. If you won’t make love to me or even fuck me, then you can at least hold me and let me enjoy being close to you.”
“Caity…” Alex didn’t know what to say. He cupped the back of Caitlyn’s head and eased her mouth toward his. When their lips met, he widened his legs and slid his hand over her bare bottom. His fingers slipped along her seam, growing wet from her dew. “Let me bring you pleasure, Caity. I won’t enter you with more than my fingers, but let me show you what I wish I could do every night for the rest of our lives.”
Caitlyn nodded as she squeezed her eyes shut. She wanted to tell him he was the only thing keeping them apart, that he was to blame for them not having every night together. But neither would relent, and she didn’t want to ruin the moment. Caitlyn’s breath hitched at the feel of Alex’s fingers dipping into her entrance. He rubbed a spot that made her want to moan and writhe. She shifted against him, the feel of his cock rubbing along her slit adding to her body’s excitement. Moving together, Caitlyn felt her core tighten before a wave of sensation rolled through her. She recognized what she felt since Cairren had described it to her.
Still floating in euphoria, Caitlyn tugged at the laces to Alex’s breeks. She pulled them open, freeing his cock. “Tell me what to do.”
Alex’s chin tilted back as his hips rose when Caitlyn’s hand wrapped around him. He lowered them, then raised them, rocking into her palm. Without waiting for him to explain, she stroked him, matching his rhythm. She felt him twitch, making her look at him. In the dark section of the croft, neither could see the other’s eye color, but Caitlyn knew what the emerald windows to his soul looked like without needing to see them. Alex’s hand cupped her skull again and guided her mouth back to his.
The moment their lips touched, passion overruled common sense, and restraint flew away. Neither knew who moved first, but Caitlyn released Alex’s cock as his hand returned to her buttocks. She lifted her hips as his hand pressed against her. The tip of his rod glided through the dew on her petals until need pushed them together with an invisible hand. Caitlyn sank down as Alex thrust up until their bodies joined. Alex registered the feel of breaking through Caitlyn’s barrier, and she felt the twinge of pain, but lust and love coalesced into consuming desire. They moved together with synchronicity and ease; their bodies already attune to one another. Alex reached between them to cup Caitlyn’s breast, prompting her to press against his chest as she rode him.
“Let me taste you,” Alex whispered as he brought his mouth to her breast, suckling as Caitlyn ground her pubis against his. Her body ached in a way she never imagined it could. Alex caused it, and he would be her only relief. His scorching mouth wrapped around her nipple as he drew the puckered flesh along his tongue. He kneaded her other one as Caitlyn kissed his neck and nipped at his earlobe. She felt the shiver that ran through Alex’s body before his hips thrust harder and faster. She squeezed the muscles within her core, holding him in place as the friction against her pleasure button turned her need into a frenzy. She recognized the same tightening low in her belly as she’d felt before her first climax.
“Alex,” Caitlyn breathed before kissing him to muffle her scream. It was only as his seed surged toward the tip of his cock that Alex regained enough sense to lift Caitlyn from him and pull out. His seed spilled across his belly, and they both froze. Reality crashed back down onto them as they panted in the darkness. Caitlyn made to roll away, but Alex couldn’t bear to let go. He pulled her down against his chest, and she went willingly. He felt her tears against his shoulder and her shudders.
“Caity, no matter what, I love you. Not just as my friend. That wasn’t a mistake. I will never think it was a mistake. Ill advised, mayhap. But I will never regret it, even though I’m certain I should. If that’s the only time I’m with you, understand that it’s the only time I’ve ever made love to a woman. I didn’t fuck you or tup you, Caitlyn. I loved your body just as I love your soul.”
“You know I love you, Alex. You know I wanted this and don’t regret it. What I regret is that you won’t relent, even now that we discovered what it’s like. You won’t accept me. That’s why I cry. You gave me heaven only to put me in hell.”
They lay together in silence, both lost in their thoughts. Despite being at odds over the future, neither pulled away, instead pressing closer. Alex stroked Caitlyn’s hair as her hand rested over his heart. They fell asleep in one another’s embrace as though there hadn’t been heartache after bliss.
Thirteen
Alex awoke with a start, hands pushing at his chest. He inhaled, recognizing Caitlyn’s scent immediately. He realized he wasn’t protecting Mangerton Tower from a raid like he’d been in his dream. He was safe in a cottage with Caitlyn sharing a bed with him.
“Alex, wake up.” Anxiety filled Caitlyn’s voice as she shook his shoulders again.
“I’m awake now, Caity. Was I dreaming?” Alex was certain he had been.
“Aye. I think it started out nicely, but you grew restless and breathed heavily.”
