Who says I have to be Allyson Elliot any longer? No one has to discover I’m a laird’s daughter, nor do they need to learn I was ever a lady-in-waiting. For all anyone knows, I’m the young widow of a farmer and couldn’t maintain the plot on my own. I’m a fair seamstress despite what my mother might say, and Morgana said I was a natural in the kitchen. If our clan’s head cook believes that, then I must be at least decent. I don’t intend to work in a tavern, but perhaps I could work for a family in Edinburgh or Glasgow. I can’t remain in Stirling, but I need a city large enough to get lost in. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll say I’m a poor widow willing to assist a shopkeeper or become a maid in exchange for room and board. I must trade my finer clothes for money and use the money to buy less questionable stockings and gloves. I can claim the cloak and scarf were wedding gifts from my husband. I never imagined I’d become a servant, but I know I can do the work. I know how to do the work. At least my mother was wise to ensure all her daughters understood the duties of every servant if we were ever to be a proper chatelaine.
I’d rather be alone than with a husband who will shame me with a mistress under my roof. I don’t want to believe Ewan would ever force me, but he did little to disabuse me of the notion that he might. Some women might accept that lot, but I refuse to be overlooked and discounted any longer. It hurts too bluidy much.
Allyson slipped into slumber as she found some resolution to the quandary of how to evade her arranged marriage. She would figure out the rest when the situation demanded a solution.
Chapter Four
Ewan observed Allyson flirt with every man between the age of eight-and-ten to eighty. He ground his teeth as she glided from one partner to another, tossing her hair and dazzling the men with her smile that showcased perfectly aligned teeth. When the dancing began, he assumed she was taunting him and trying to make him jealous, so he partnered with the most beautiful widows and matrons in attendance. But he soon realized she never glanced in his direction. Although she arrived late for the meal and merely pushed her food around her trencher, Ewan noted she appeared animated and cheerful. He failed to understand how her mood changed so drastically until a man standing near he and Eoin mentioned Allyson.
“I can’t be sure, but I suspect Lady Allyson’s had more than a tipple of whisky this eve. She’s in even better spirits than usual. I intend to test my theory.”
Ewan recognized the man as one of the Maxwell clan’s representatives. Before he had a chance to listen to more or even inquire about the man’s plans, the Maxwell man slipped away and swept Allyson into a dance. Ewan edged around the Great Hall as he caught his intended leaning closer to hear what the man whispered in her ear. She nodded and allowed her partner to guide toward the terrace.
Like hell she’s having a dalliance under my nose. I’m not taking a wife who isn’t a virgin. I’ll not have her bearing some man’s bastard and passing it off as mine.
Ewan recognized the hypocrisy of his thoughts, but he believed in his right to do as he pleased as a man, an unmarried man. He followed the couple onto the terrace and watched Allyson tilt her head to allow her partner to nuzzle her neck. Ewan ground his teeth as he crept forward. He would note how far she allowed the interlude to go, but he wouldn’t intervene. If she allowed the man any liberties, he would gain his reason to call off the wedding. He didn’t care if he destroyed her reputation. She would deserve it for being loose. He noticed Allyson grab the man’s leine, but it wasn’t until she yanked the insistent swain’s hair that Ewan realized she’d been trying to push him away rather than pull him closer. Allyson twisted and squirmed until she had enough space between them to stomp on the man’s foot and duck under his flying hand. She ran into the dark with the Maxwell clansman following her. Ewan darted forward and plowed his fist into the unsuspecting pursuer’s temple and watched him crumple to the ground. He heard the click of a door closing and rushed to find the portal Allyson used to slip into the castle. Once he was inside, he looked around, but just as she had done earlier in the day, she’d already disappeared.
“Where did you go?” Eoin asked when Ewan returned to the Great Hall. Ewan’s fist smarted, and the punch had split the skin over two of his knuckles. “You better not have been chasing after Lady Bevan with Father’s eagle eyes on you. It’s bad enough you’ve danced with every eligible and ineligible woman here.”
“I followed Allyson onto the terrace to see how far she’d allow that Maxwell swine to go. She didn’t appear at all unsettled when he kissed her neck and cheek. She didn’t even shy away from him pressing his mouth to hers, but at some point, he became too insistent, and she struggled to break free. She was already running back into the keep by the time I reached the lout. I plowed my fist into his head and chased after her. She was nowhere in sight when I followed her inside.”
“Are you certain that she’s all right? He didn’t do more than kiss her?”
“I’m sure he would have if she’d allowed him to. She must have known the message she sent by going outside with him. There is no way she couldn’t after the knowledge she shared this afternoon.”
“Do you think she was drunk like that Maxwell said? She’s never struck me as a drinker. Why would she have tonight?”
“It’s rather obvious she needed some liquid courage to face the evening meal, and I’d say that’s largely, if not entirely, my fault. I’d also guess she allowed him to take her outside as a silent rebellion. She may be savvy about life at court, but her mind was too slow, or she’s still too innocent to realize that saying no and having the man listen to her wouldn’t be as easy as she assumed.”
“Ewan, don’t you see how this makes everything you said earlier even worse? You left her under the impression you’d force yourself on her and then discard her like sennight-old fish. Then a man she might have been willing to kiss tried to force her to do more. She’ll never trust you now. She’ll see at you as being no better than that piece of shite, and she wouldn’t be wrong to do so. I might know you’d never force a woman, but she doesn’t know either of us well enough to understand that. And like it or not, what she saw this afternoon entitles her to a poor opinion of both of us.”
“You’re not saying aught I didn’t already think about. It might seem ridiculous to us, but I can understand how she might fear us sharing her or playing her a fool by taking turns unbeknownst to her. Rather than try to sooth her fears, I acted like the petulant child you called me. I just couldn’t seem to still my tongue each time she needled me.”
“Neither of us likes to fail to have the last word. This time, you lost both the battle and the war.”
Ewan looked at his brother’s concerned face and shook his head. The uncanny way their minds ran along the same path was a benefit that kept them alive on the battlefield, but it also meant that their consciences were never silent. Eoin spoke the doubts and regrets Ewan struggled with all evening.
“I suppose I should begin wooing her tomorrow. Though after my performance tonight, dancing with every woman in sight just to spite her, most likely didn’t endear me to her any further.”
“I doubt it did. Before the evening meal, I might have recommended you begin tomorrow, but now I fear you need a few days of lying low and ignoring temptation.” Eoin paused for a long and assessing gaze at his brother. They were mirror images in more ways than their looks, but they didn’t share the same beliefs about everything. Eoin was more romantic and believed in the sanctity and preservation of marriage, no matter why the union began. Ewan viewed marriage as a business transaction between two clans rather than two people, and as long as the parties upheld the terms of the agreement, he saw no reason to alter his life. He understood how some might view him as selfish, but he considered himself practical. He didn’t expect his wife, whoever she might be, to harbor soft feelings for him, nor did he anticipate loving her in return. Except for needing an heir, he was content to allow his wife to do as she pleased. Eoin’s voice broke through his thoughts. “Will you accept her taking a lover once she’s bred your children?”
“What?” Ewan jerked away as his brother’s questioned registered. “Of course not.”
“Then you aren’t as willing to allow her to do as she pleases. You’ve always said your wife could do what she wanted once she’d borne you an heir. What if what pleases her is a lover? You intend to keep a leman.”
“It’s different.”
“Why? Because she’s a woman? Because she might give birth to a bastard? You’re just as likely to sire a bastard. If you don’t believe you need a woman’s love, then why keep a leman? You might enjoy bedding your wife and be satisfied there. You might marry a virgin, but then teach her all the things a more experienced woman had to learn one way or another. Why go to another woman when you can enjoy the pleasure you want with your own wife?”
“Because a man doesn’t bed his lady-wife like a whore.”
“Lady Bevan was once someone’s lady-wife, as you put it, and she knows more than most tavern wenches. She had to learn that somehow. Do you consider her less of a lady for it? Is the word just a title that doesn’t fit its owner?” Eoin shook his head. “I think you’re peeved that Father didn’t consult you before this announcement, and I think you’re peeved that your wings are being clipped before you wanted to settle down. You have the opportunity to take a beautiful and alluring woman to your bed every night and not spend a penny or worry about the pox ever again.”
Ewan recognized the logic in his brother’s words, and they were another example of ideas that had already occurred to him. It proved they were like-minded in more ways than not. He was angry at the king and their father along with Laird Elliot, but he’d vented his spleen at Allyson when he felt attacked. He understood she shared his sentiments, but she felt threatened while he felt inconvenienced. Rather than ease the terror, he poured oil on the fire, then grew angry when the conversation went up in flames. “I haven’t shown a redeeming quality since the moment we encountered Allyson and her friend today,” he admitted.
“No, you haven’t.” Eoin shrugged when Ewan shot him a scathing glare.
“I have a lot to make up for, and I worry she’ll decide what she saw today is the real me rather than when I try to prove otherwise.”
