“That’s because parts of the real you were on display today, too. You need to reconsider your ideas on fidelity. A woman like Allyson may not expect you to love her, but she expects and deserves you to honor her.”
Ewan glanced around the Great Hall and caught sight of not only Lady Bevan, but several other women he’d bedded over the years of visiting court and attending various clan gatherings. He’d made his rounds and revisited several eager and willing bed partners. For the first time, he regretted his choices and his refusal to consider how they might affect a marriage that was inevitable. He knew plenty of men who kept mistresses, his father included, so he’d never questioned whether he should give up bedding whoever he wanted once married. His mother hadn’t been able to tolerate his father, and they rarely spoke while she was still alive. She’d loathed any form of affection whether it came from her children or her husband. She’d wanted to be a nun, but she hadn’t been given the choice. His mother turned a blind eye to her husband’s infidelity because it meant he left her alone.
Their home hadn’t been a happy one while his mother was alive, and Ewan realized now how an unwilling bride had spoiled more than just the groom’s life. He didn’t want to repeat his father’s life as his own. Allyson had objected strenuously to his bed-hopping ways and expected he be faithful, which was the opposite of his mother. Allyson proved on the terrace that she didn’t oppose physical intimacy, even if she put limits on it. He’d reacted to the news, assuming Allyson would be like his mother and reject passion and pleasure. She’d never actually objected to it; she’d objected to him sharing it with women other than her.
“I’ve made a right cock up of this. I jumped to the conclusion that she would be like Mother.”
“Mother?” Eoin scoffed. “She’s not a bit like Mother. Not even in the least. They couldn’t be more unalike, and the pluck Allyson showed today proves that. Mother would never have spoken out against any man, nor would she have cared whether her husband made his bed with another woman. She never cared. She welcomed it. Once we were born, she had no reason to allow Father ever to return to her chamber. Allyson wanted your head on a pike because she expects you’ll be unfaithful. Mother and Allyson couldn’t be more different than chalk and cheese.”
“I realize that now, but at the time, my emotions clouded any sense of reason.” Ewan rubbed the back of his neck. “Anyhow, I’ll gain naught more tonight. I have no desire to continue dancing, and Allyson won’t return. I shall bid you goodnight.”
“Where are you going?” Eoin cast a suspicious glance at his brother.
“To bed. Alone.”
“Then I shall retire, too.”
The brothers quit the Great Hall without a second glance, and Ewan fell into an exhausted sleep as soon as his head touched his pillow.
Chapter Five
Allyson carried out her duties as though she hadn’t been given life-altering news the day before. None of the other ladies-in-waiting noticed anything out of the ordinary about her, and she forced herself to remain patient as she went through the daily routine of Mass, meals, and mingling. She’d resolved to slip away from the keep during the equinox feast that evening, so she bribed a guardsman she knew was having an affair with another one of the queen’s attendants. Allyson didn’t doubt she could slip out of the castle gates with the guard and rely on him to escort her to the city gates, which he would ensure she could pass through before they were locked for the night.
“I’m glad we returned to the overheated Great Hall after our morning pilgrimage to Cairnpapple Hill.” Arabella Johnstone mused. “The view at sunrise might be spectacular as the light filters among the standing stones, but I didn’t appreciate the view of my breath freezing at the end of my nose.”
“I wouldn’t have minded the cold air if it hadn’t still been dark when we departed,” Cairstine Grant added.
Allyson kept her eyes on the noon meal as voices flowed around her. She hadn’t minded the morning excursion because it gave her the opportunity to scout the road north as the sun rose. She’d discovered that Elizabeth and Edward Bruce had returned to Culcreuch Castle to stay during the festivities. At an hour’s ride away from Stirling, the couple preferred to be guests of the Galbraiths rather than the royal couple. Allyson intended to pull Elizabeth aside and request shelter at Culcreuch until she could decide what to do next. If her plea was answered, then she would journey to the nearby keep with Elizabeth and Edward after the feast was over. But if Elizabeth refused, then Allyson already had palms greased to facilitate her escape.
As the afternoon bled into early evening, Allyson failed to spy Elizabeth anywhere near the queen’s solar. Discreet questioning allowed Allyson to discover that the couple didn’t plan to attend the feast because Elizabeth wasn’t feeling up to the heat and odors while she was still in the early months of her first pregnancy. She wanted to groan when she realized that traveling alone was inevitable, but at least Elizabeth wouldn’t deny her request before she left the castle.
The court gathered in the Great Hall as the feast began, servants bringing laden platters of meats and pastries. Allyson pasted a smile on her face. She forced herself to appear inconspicuous, all while focusing on the exit she’d use to flee the crowd and retire to her chamber to change. She pretended a jovial disposition far from how she felt but was necessary for her ruse to succeed. When the music began, she engaged in one flirtation after another, but kept her eye on the sinking sun as it moved past the windows and doors of the Great Hall. More than once, she noticed Ewan watching her, but she turned away before their gazes could meet.
Allyson made her move when she caught sight of a man she’d flirted with earlier as he eased his way toward the exit she intended to use. She followed behind as though he led the way but hung back as he slipped out of the gathering hall. Fear of being stopped tempted her to glance back over her shoulder, but she waited until she didn’t need to worry that the man would see her following him. If anyone was paying attention her, and she hoped they were, they would assume she followed him for an assignation. She needed people to believe she was with a dalliance so no one would question why she disappeared and didn’t return to the feast. Once she made it into the passageway, she lifted her skirts above her ankles and ran toward the ladies’-in-waiting chambers. She didn’t pause until she reached her door, breathless but relieved.
Ewan tracked Allyson as she batted her eyelashes at each would-be suitor who approached. She didn’t decline any request to dance, and she danced more than once with a couple of men. He forced himself to remain propped up against a wall as he’d sworn not to dance with any of the women who batted their own eyelashes at him. No one knew of their betrothal, and Ewan had beseeched the king to give him another day to make amends before everyone learned of their engagement. In the meantime, Allyson continued to appear like an unattached young woman, free to dance with whomever she pleased. Ewan failed to find a moment to speak to her all day. He’d attempted to ride alongside her, but she maneuvered her horse between two other ladies. He slipped between men and women at the standing stones, hoping he could approach her, but she positioned herself next to the queen. He wondered if she sensed his intention to speak to her and was avoiding him.
“Damn it,” Ewan grumbled. He glanced at Eoin, who had implicitly agreed to keep him company and forego any offers from the women. “She’s followed a man out of the Great Hall again. Didn’t she learn aught last night?”
Before Eoin could respond, Ewan wove his way through the crowd until he pushed through the doors he’d watched Allyson pass through only moments ago. No one was in sight, but he heard the rustling of clothes in an alcove to his left. Soft murmurs and moans carried, and Ewan felt a wave of panic that Allyson might enjoy more than a mere kiss. He might not want to marry her, but if he had to, he refused to share her. He pushed aside the voice that bellowed he was a hypocrite of the worst sort as he pulled aside the tapestry and yanked the man away. While Ewan recognized him as the man Allyson followed, the woman who screeched and scrambled to push down her skirts wasn’t Allyson.
“I beg your pardon. I thought you were someone else.” Ewan backed away before spinning around to search for Allyson.Where the devil did she go? And how does she disappear in the blink of an eye?
* * *
Allyson tugged at the laces of her gown, twisting and grasping to remove a kirtle that in normal circumstances required a maid’s assistance. There was no way Allyson would alert anyone to her plan or that she’d returned to her chamber. When she was free of the ornate gown, she hung it on a peg in her armoire, pushing it behind other gowns, then lifted the lid of her chest and withdrew the plain travel kirtle and chemise. She rushed to don the new outfit, breathing a sigh of relief that it was an easy gown that didn’t require any help. Allyson lifted the satchel strap over her head and shoulders before wrapping her cloak around her, leaving enough slack to pull up over her nose and mouth. She raised the cowl and hood before peeking out of her door. When nothing stirred and no noise carried to her, she eased along the passageway, remaining in the shadows until she reached the servants’ stairs. She raced down them and out to the bailey where she crept toward the postern gate. The guard she’d bribed waited for her. They didn’t exchange a word as he led her away from the castle and deposited her outside the city’s gates.
She hurried along the road for ten minutes until she came to an outlying village that the royal party had passed through that morning. Allyson had noticed a livery and blacksmith, which had lifted the dread of trying to escape with a horse in tow or on its back. She needed a mount, or she would never make it to Culcreuch unnoticed. As she approached the village stables, she realized it was beside a coaching inn where travelers stopped before reaching Stirling. She entered the stables, but no one greeted her. She passed along the stalls and called out for a stable hand, but there was no response.
Most of the stalls were empty, but she found a friendly but powerfully built gelding that nodded his large head in greeting. She held out her hand for him to sniff, and when he didn’t nip her, she stroked between his eyes. Allyson felt around behind her for the nearby barrel and retrieved an apple, which she offered on her palm. The animal crunched through the fruit as Allyson eased into the stall. The horse swished his tail once as Allyson hurried to saddle him. She led him from the stable with coins in her hands, then knocked on the back door of the inn. When a man answered, his eyes grew wide to find Allyson on the other side holding the reins to the massive steed. She pressed the coins into his hand, but remained silent. Before the tavern keeper questioned her, she swung into the saddle and nudged the horse forward. She’d kept her hood up and face covered with the shawl. She appeared like an elegant highwayman rather than a lady-in-waiting and laird’s daughter.
Night was fully upon her when Allyson approached the gates of Culcreuch Castle. She pulled her hood down and lowered her scarf as the distance between her and the portcullis shrank. She wanted to ensure the guardsmen on the battlements could determine she was a woman and posed little threat.
“Who goes?” A voice bellowed once she was within earshot.
“Lady Allyson, friend of Lady Bruce,” Allyson called back. She was unwilling to announce to all and sundry who she was. She offered enough information for the guard to pass along, and she prayed Elizabeth would recognize her name and think of her fellow attendant. She need not have feared; only moments later, Elizabeth rushed down the keep’s steps with Edward gripping her elbow. Elizabeth ordered the portcullis raised and Allyson admitted.
“Allyson, what’re you doing here at this hour? What’s happened?” Elizabeth peered around Allyson’s shoulder and frowned when she realized there was no escort waiting to follow Allyson into the bailey. “Why’re you alone?”
