“And I realize that not all men are like your father or mine.”
“You think your father—?”
“I believe so. I’m not certain, but I’ve suspected it over the years. You’ve heard my sisters. It seems like everyone knows. My parents were close when my brothers and sisters were young, but they had some falling out. They barely spoke to one another and still talk as little as possible. They only spend time together at meals where they’re cordial but not as loving as I heard they once were.”
“When’s your birthday? Not your saint’s day, but when were you born?” Ewan had a sneaking suspicion that he understood why Allyson’s parents were cold to her, and rage boiled within. It was the only explanation fathomable for why a couple that had once been happy and welcomed their children went so long without another and held no affection for their youngest.
“Autumn. Why?”
“Were you conceived around Hogmanay?” Allyson’s cheeks turned flaming red, but she nodded. “Ally, do you think your parents, or perhaps your father, imbibed too much, and nine moons later you were born?”
“You think I resulted from a drunken night together? That mayhap my father forced my mother?” It was as though all the blood leached from her body and left her freezing. She shivered as her world tilted on its axis, but as confusing as the notion was, it suddenly made sense of her life. Her mother resented the memory, and her father regretted it. Allyson looked up at Ewan as tears tumbled down her cheeks. “I think you’re right. I never once considered that.”
“It would explain a great deal, don’t you think?”
“Aye. It does.” Even if they’d discovered the reason for Allyson’s treatment, it did little to ease the years of pain and neglect. It only served to make her feel worse. She really was unwanted.
“They shouldn’t have taken that out on you. Those were their choices, not a bairn’s or a wean’s. You had no more say in which family you were born into than anyone else.”
A thought crossed Allyson’s mind that made her stomach turn over, but she had to know. “Do you have any unwanted children?”
Ewan shook his head. “No. I’ve always been careful. Besides the fact that our father would geld me and Eoin if we ever were so careless, no child should ever be unwanted and bear the stigma of bastardry. That should be the burden of the parents, but it’s always passed onto the child.” Ewan’s vehemence made Allyson wonder if someone important in his life suffered that fate. Another fear crossed Allyson’s mind that she couldn’t resist asking about.
“Is there a woman you wished to marry, a woman you love, who is unsuitable because of that?”
“No. Why would you ask that? I’ve never been in love, and I certainly never considered marriage.”
“You just seem so adamant that I figured someone close to you might bear that stigma.”
“Aye. My cousin. My mother’s sister made an error in judgment when she was young and anticipated her wedding. When she discovered she was with child, her intended groom called it off, arguing if she was willing to bed him before marriage, he’d never be certain she wasn’t with other men too. He claimed it would be impossible to be certain the bairn was his. My cousin came out looking just like her father, but he still wouldn’t marry my aunt. I fear my cousin will never be able to marry because of that. She’s a sweet lass, but her parents’ sordid history precedes her.”
“That’s wretched. With the rumors that swirled around here for years, I feared I would never marry. I’m the fourth daughter. The chances of me marrying outside the clan weren’t that strong to begin with, so finding a mon here who would want me seemed unlikely. Serving as a lady-in-waiting seemed like my only opportunity since the talk of my past never reached there.”
“Do you think that’s why your parents sent you to court?”
“Yes. Without a doubt. I expected my father to arrive any day to say he’d arranged a marriage, so he might foist me onto someone else. Or my parents would have allowed me to languish at court until the end of days.”
“Then it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when they summoned you to inform you of our marriage.”
“It wasn’t marriage that put me off. It was the groom.” Allyson saw no point in sugarcoating the truth they both knew.
“And now?” Ewan held his breath.
“Now the groom seems a far sight better than he did at court. Maybe it’s the fresh air.” Allyson pulled a handful of grass and tossed it at Ewan. He rolled onto Allyson and took her mouth in a searing kiss she returned wholeheartedly. She opened to him, and his tongue slid into the warm cavern, a groan escaping Ewan when Allyson drew his tongue in further. Ewan’s hand slipped beneath her back and traveled to her backside, tilting her hips toward him. Allyson twisted to press her body against the full length of Ewan’s and moaned as he squeezed the globe within his hand. Her hand slid into the open neckline of his leine, her fingers scorched by the heat his smooth, muscular chest exuded. Her other hand roamed over the lean figure, discovering every taut muscle as they bunched with his movement.
“I won’t allow what happened to my aunt to happen to you, Ally. I intend to marry you and refuse to accept anyone who would stand in the way, but I won’t take what isn’t mine to have. Without pledging to marry you during the betrothal ceremony, I won’t do more than I did this morning. It might kill me, but I’ll gladly wait if it means you’ll share my bed until we depart this life.”
“You make my whole body ache for something it hasn’t experienced but somehow knows. I want more of this morning, and I want to learn to reciprocate. I realized that it’s you I want. It wasn’t just the pleasure, because the thought of being with someone else doesn’t appeal to me. It’s because it was you. I don’t understand why, but something changed in me when you rescued me from Chillingham. The fact that you chased me scared me at first, but that you were the one to storm into that chamber, that you fought your way to me, it made me realize that you are a good mon. A mon I didn’t give a fair chance is what I’m learning every time we talk.” Allyson stroked Ewan’s cheek as they gazed at one another for a long moment. Something passed between them, and Allyson discovered that not only did she want to trust Ewan, she did. “I trust you, Ewan. Please don’t ever break that. I’m not sure how I would survive.”
“Ally, you are too special to ever hurt intentionally. I pledge here and now, no matter what happens, you will always have my protection. If not in name, then always in deed. I never want to destroy that trust, and I want you to know you can depend on me no matter what our futures hold.”
“You swear to be mo ghaisgeach.”My hero. Ewan’s chest swelled with pride as he brushed his lips against hers.
“Always. I’d hoped to speak to your father about the betrothal documents. We left them behind at court, so I wanted to find out if he would send a messenger to retrieve them.” Ewan wasn’t telling a complete falsehood. He’d been thinking about them since the night before and had become more determined while they laid near the river.
“Will the king allow that? Won’t your father have to be here to sign as well?”
“Nay. Ally, your father or I should have told you that the contracts were signed in the Privy Council chamber after you left. You can sign them, but it’s not required.”
