Maude uncrossed her arms and sighed. Her shoulders drooped as though the effort was too great to maintain her perfect posture. She didn’t disguise rubbing her forehead. Kieran eased his way across the room, and when she didn’t retreat or push him away, he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear before cupping her cheek.
“What did you want to tell me?” Maude whispered.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being an arse, a jealous arse. I’m sorry for ruining your day and the little time you had with your cousin. I’m sorry for causing you discomfort, especially the headache I obviously gave you.”
“I didn’t understand you earlier, and I still don’t. What were you jealous of? What did you want?”
Kieran eased closer and wrapped an arm around her. He settled her against his chest as he had the night before. It was easier to make his confession when her penetrating gaze wasn’t boring into him.
“My jealousy was directed at the priest. You greeted him with such warmth, and it’s obvious you’re well acquainted. I didn’t like that such a handsome mon was so familiar with you. I wanted that smile directed at me. I wanted that excitement to be for my arrival, my welcome, not for another mon. I realize he’s a priest, and trust that he’d never take advantage of you, but I feared you held a different affection for him than what you would for a cousin.”
Maude leaned back enough to glance up at his face, but all she saw was the underside of his chin. She gave up trying to meet his eyes, so she returned to leaning her head against his chest. Her deep inhale and sigh pressed her body against his before her body released the tension.
“Maude, I was unaware he was your cousin until we were aboot to leave. By then, I’d already ruined the outing. I didn’t want to push you further, so I tried to give you peace on the ride back. I feel like such an eejit. Worse than that. I feel guilty for my unkind thoughts toward your kin and jumping to conclusions and for being self-centered. I joined you because I feared your guards wouldn’t protect you to my standards when, instead, you really needed protecting from my foul temper.”
“Kieran, I understand what you’re saying, but I still don’t understand why it mattered to you who I smiled at.”
“Because I want you.”
“Want me to what?”
Maude’s innocent question flooded his mind with lurid images of all the things he wanted with Maude, but when he pushed those aside, he glimpsed very different scenes. He imagined them walking together on his land holding hands. He saw them sharing a chalice of wine as they laughed together on the dais in his great hall, her sitting in his lap before a fire in his–no, their–chamber. The last image was of them once again walking, but this time, they were elderly. He had a stick, and she leaned against him, their hair white. It was his turn to lean back as he felt himself getting lost in the warm pools of chocolate that were her eyes. He wanted to taste her lips, but he forced himself not to rush. Just as Father Michael warned, he wanted Maude to believe his intentions were sincere. He hadn’t known her long enough to kiss her without her assuming he only wanted one thing. He tilted her chin up but placed a chaste kiss at her temple.
“I want you for many things, many of which are too inappropriate for me to share aloud, but I also want you to consider allowing me to court you.”
“Why would you want to do that?”
Kieran realized Father Michael hadn’t exaggerated Maude’s lack of confidence. She couldn’t fathom why he wanted her.
“Because I’ve never been drawn to a woman more than I am you. Because I’ve never been so curious to get to know another person. Because I struggle to keep my hands from roaming everywhere on you as I taste your lips. Because Iwantyou.”
Maude’s mouth formed a perfect circle, and Kieran’s cock stood at full attention. He’d tried to keep their hips apart, so she wouldn’t brush against his semi-aroused shaft, but now there was no hiding it. Her eyes widened to match her mouth as her mound rubbed against his cock because her hips moved forward as she leaned back to gaze at him. Kieran blushed. He hadn’t blushed since he was a child. His ears burned.
“Do you understand now?”
“Yes. Well, not really, but sort of.”
Kieran laughed, his deep baritone filling the room. He kissed her temple once more. He glanced around the small room and spotted two chairs. He led Maude to them, and once they sat, he took her hands in his. He couldn’t keep holding her and hope to overcome temptation. He’d be riding back to the abbey to confess if he wasn’t careful. But he also couldn’t bring himself to let go of her. Her earnest expression made him realize she was too innocent for him to speak in euphemisms, and he suspected she would prefer the candor.
“When I approached from the gardens and caught a glimpse of you on the terrace last night, I only saw the back of you, but my reaction was instant. It surprised me for more than one reason, but I wanted to touch you, press your body against mine. Even when I was consoling you, my body wanted yours. I didn’t question Father Michael’s vow of celibacy or your respect for such, but seeing another mon with you, any mon, made me want to bay at the moon. The thought of another mon touching you suffocates me.”
“So, you want to couple with me? Like you’d been doing just before we met.” The second part was a statement, and his ears were going up in flames.
“Yes and no.” Kieran wanted to sink through the floor. “Yes, I’d like to do those same things. But no, it’s not the same. I want it to mean something with you. I want it to be more than just the act. I can’t describe it, Maude, because I’ve never felt this way before. I want to be the mon who introduces you to passion, but I also want to be the only mon who ever sees that side of you.”
“I still don’t understand why.”
Kieran released one of her hands to run his through his hair. After tugging his hair until it stood on end, which garnered one of Maude’s half-smiles, he returned his hand to hers.
“I told you. I desire you. I found you on the terrace and then I held you in my arms. I told you last night that those lasses didn’t know what they were talking aboot. You are all that a mon desires. You are what I desire.”
“So, Laurel was right. I’m better suited as a tavern wench since you want to tup me.” Maude tugged her hands away and stood. Tears threatened, but she refused to allow Kieran to witness her cry twice in as many days.
“That bitch is awfully haughty for a chit with little dowry and no mon sniffing at her skirts,” Kieran grumbled. He looked up at Maude, shocked at what he’d just uttered.
“Men are always asking her to dance.”
“Aye, because she’s the daughter of Laird Ross, but she’s the fourth daughter. Her father has neither coin nor land left to give away. The men who ask her to dance are hoping for introductions and to rub elbows, but no mon wants to be saddled with that shrew, not without land to go along with her.”
