“So, she’s untrusting of others? What caused that? She’s still young, isn’t she?”
“Aye. Nine-and-ten. She was teased without mercy when she was younger, and my sister opened old wounds.”
“What was wrong with her?” Kyle snapped his mouth shut and scooted his chair away, anticipating the fist that would surely fly his way this time. Instead, he looked at Kieran and found his friend and laird was gripping the edge of the table so tightly that his knuckles were white. Kieran’s jaw ticked as he turned his head toward Kyle.
“Naught is wrong with her. There never has been. I told you, she’s bonny but not in the way most women see it. She’s fit and sturdy but lean after years of chasing after her brother. She rides and shoots as well as most men and is strong. She’s not a rail like most women. She was teased by boys when she grew into womanhood, and then by my sister and her friends at court.” Kieran measured his next words, since he hated saying them to any man, as though he was spilling a secret. “She’s well-endowed on top, so men often make comments better suited to a tavern wench. She’s self-conscious and with good reason, after what she’s had to put up with.”
“I suppose it boils down to this: you say you love her, but do you think she will make you a good wife?” Kieran’s nod was immediate. “Do you think she’d be a good lady of the clan?”
“Without a doubt.”
“Then marry her and bring her home. Abigail will leave to marry soon enough. Madeline won’t be returning, at least not for a few years. Your mother can move to her dower lands or retire to a convent if she’s that opposed to your marriage. You deserve happiness after what you’ve sacrificed for this clan, and if that’s with Maude, then so be it. If you believe she’ll be good for the clan, then all the more reason to bring her here, because we’re in need of a woman who can do her share of leading.”
Kieran considered Kyle’s words and felt better for hearing the affirmation. But his relief was cut short when his mother rose and signaled to Abigail that they would retire. Kieran wasn’t about to allow his mother to disobey him again. He nodded to Kyle and rose to step in front of Adeline and Abigail.
“Well timed. I was just aboot to summon you to my solar.” Kieran didn’t wait for their response before moving to the dais steps. He led them to his solar on the ground floor and experienced a moment of calm as he entered his sanctuary. While he conducted clan business here, it was one of the few places where he could close the door, reassured no one would bother him short of an emergency. His mother’s voice shattered the feeling.
“This shall have to wait. It grows late, and I wish to retire. We can discuss whatever it is in the morning,” Adeline’s expression was cold and off-putting.
“You do not get to decide that, Mother. I decide where and when I conduct clan business.” He moved to the seat behind his desk and took it without waiting for either of the women sit. He pulled forward the ledger that Adam, the steward, had left on top. He already anticipated what he would find since Adam copied the columns and included it in one of his missives. “Sit, Mother. Now.”
Adeline huffed but took a seat, with Abigail following suit. Her eyes darted between the two, nervous about the standoff taking place. She’d never seen Kieran address their mother with such cold efficiency, even when their mother pushed back against his authority. Abigail feared she and their mother had gone too far this time with their spending, but she didn’t understand how it could be of much consequence since they were wealthy.
“I didn’t appreciate learning of how depleted our coffers are while I was at court to resolve taxation complaints. Neither of you seem to understand that our funds are not for our personal disposal. They are for the safekeeping and well-being of our clan. I still need to pay the masons who worked on the north wall. I need to pay the drovers who will take our sheep to market. I need to ensure we make repairs to crofts that suffered during the snows. I need funds to buy grain and barley for our food and our livestock. All of that comes from the accounts you raided to buy cloth for your own gowns. It’s not as though you did it to acquire material to make clothes for our poorer families. You did it to flaunt wealth you’re pissing away. I told you before I left that you were not to spend any more money on items for your own comfort. The only approved expenses are ones for the keep. I return to a home that’s not being run by its chatelaine.”
“Are you saying I’m inept as lady of the keep?” His mother’s tone was frigid.
“I’m saying your entitlement and disinterest in being a respectable lady of the keep will drown us in debt.”
“You’ve always been one for exaggeration, Kieran. There isn’t the catastrophe afoot that you’re making this out to be. You’re selfish and miserly. I didn’t raise you that way,” Adeline sniffed.
“No, you didn’t because Agatha is the one who raised me when I wasn’t at Da’s side. He indulged you to placate you and buy himself peace. I am not my father, and I will not continue to condone this behavior. You have a choice, the two of you: amend your spending habits and indifference toward your duties here, or I will send you to your dower lands, Mother, and marry you off, Abigail. Make your choice. I will hear from you in the morning. Goodnight.” Kieran turned his attention back to the ledgers, dismissing his mother and sister. He couldn’t bring himself to look at either of them lest he cave. He loathed threatening either of them, but neither showed any remorse or intention to change on their own.
“Kieran?” Abigail’s nervous voice forced him to look up. “Who are you going to marry me off to? Is he old and fat and ugly?”
Kieran’s mouth thinned. No apology was forthcoming from his sister, and her greatest worry about her potential husband was his appearance.
“I haven’t decided which offer to accept.” Kieran lied. There had been few serious offers for Abigail’s hand since Madeline was still unwed. He had considered brokering a marriage for Abigail with the Matheson’s son, but that bridge had already crumbled. He hadn’t intended to marry his younger sister off yet, and he feared she was ill-equipped to marry a laird or heir, but he realized it might be the only way for her to mature and escape their mother’s influence. Finding her a suitable husband was one more thing to add to his growing list of tasks. He doubted he would resolve that before he returned to Stirling.
Once he was alone, he pulled a piece of vellum out and wrote his first missive to Maude.
Bc,
I’ve arrived safely, if not later than I expected. For the sake of your safety and health, I am glad you didn’t accompany me. The weather was atrocious, and we suffered several setbacks that drew the journey out an additional three days. Nonetheless, I miss you. I long to see your smile and hear your voice. It’s been only a sennight, and I feel adrift without you. How have you come to mean so much to me in such a short time? I believe we agreed it was fate.
I’ve had the first showdown with my mother. I’m certain it won’t be the only one before I leave. I’ve given her the choice to stop spending and fulfill her duties more effectively, or she can retire to her dower lands. That was after the evening meal, only moments ago. I admit I lost my temper within minutes of seeing her and threatened to send her to Inchcailleoch Priory to join Madeline. Part of me wishes she would choose the dower lands. That’s wretched of me, isn’t it? What type of son says such a thing? I dislike sharing this with you as I fear it’s inevitable that you will form a poor impression of my mother and sister. They aren’t all bad. It’s their inability to see how their spending affects the clan that bothers me most. They only see the comfort and wealth and not the effort and monies spent to maintain it. I blame my father for spoiling my mother and sisters, but I’m as much to blame for perpetuating it.
What do you think I should do, bc? What would you do in my position? I wish for your council and hope you understand that I ask in earnest. I hope this missive finds you well and enjoying your father’s extended visit. What have you and Arabella been doing during my absence? I miss our walks tremendously and have already thought of the route I plan to take when we go for our first walk here.
Please be reassured that my intention to marry you hasn’t changed, but if you find that while I am gone, you prefer not to pursue our courtship, you have but to tell me. However, I can’t guarantee that I will bow out gracefully. I realize I’m not painting a splendid picture of what you may find upon your arrival here, but I find I can’t lie to you whether it be by word or omission.
I look forward to your response, bc.
Yours always,
Td
Kieran sealed the missive and took it with him. His solar was supposed to be private, but he didn’t trust his mother that night. Intuition told him she would delight in nothing more than to interfere with Maude. He carried the ledgers with him, not trusting their safekeeping after his confrontation with Adeline.
