“Yes, Cairrie. I’m here,” Eoin crooned. He lifted her into his lap as the door slammed open. Edward, Andrew, Ewan, and Fingal stood in the doorway and passageway, brandishing their swords. Eoin looked up and shook his head. He pulled Cairstine closer, her eyes open now and filled with terror. She looked around and began to panic, disoriented and unsettled. Eoin tipped her body toward him, shielding her from the men standing, armed and half dressed, just a few feet away, and to shield them before Cairstine caught sight of them and screamed the keep down. “Nightmare. She had a horrible nightmare. Go away.”
Ewan nodded, understanding Eoin needed to be alone to comfort Cairstine. His name had been clear as she screamed. At first, it had sounded as if she wailed because Eoin was attacking her, but as the men charged toward the commotion, it became clear Cairstine was yelling for him to help. Ewan tapped Andrew on the shoulder and tilted his head away. Andrew took a last look at the couple before stepping back. Fingal did the same, lowering his sword, a sad smile playing at his lips. Edward appeared frozen as he watched Cairstine tremble in Eoin’s arms. He looked helpless and unsure what to do. Eoin bade him to come into the chamber, and Edward laid the sword on the far side of the bed before coming to where Eoin sat holding Cairstine. She heard the movement and curled tighter into Eoin’s embrace.
“It’s yer da, Cairrie. Yer da is coming to see that ye’re all right.” Eoin didn’t notice his burr until Cairstine sighed. She nodded and looked over her shoulder at Edward.
“What can I do?” Edward kept his voice low.
“There’s naught to do, Father.” Cairstine struggled to sit up, Eoin helping to prop her. “I’m all right now.”
“Do you have nightmares like this often? I’ve never heard you scream,” Edward reached out his hand and brushed hair back from Cairstine’s sweaty, tear-drenched face.
“I just need to be alone with my husband,” Cairstine voice was clear despite being barely more than a whisper. Eoin attempted not to let the surprise register on his face as Edward nodded and backed away from the bed.
“I’ll let your mother know all is well. I forbid her from leaving our chamber until I knew what was happening.” Edward said from the door. Eoin registered that Edward admitted he and Davina shared a chamber. Eoin now understood why Davina assumed he and Cairstine would too.
When the door clicked, Cairstine moved to sit on the bed beside Eoin. “I suspect that had I let you share the bed with me all along, I wouldn’t have had so many dreadful dreams.”
“There’ve been others?” Eoin stroked her head as she leaned against him.
“Aye, but none so bad as tonight. I remember them in the morn, but they haven’t woken me since that first night. I’ve had more as the gathering draws closer.”
“Will you tell me aboot it?” Eoin prodded, hoping that speaking about them would free her mind of the terror.
“The first one wasn’t as bad as the second. In the first one, I was running through a forest, being chased. I was searching for you. I knew if I could just find you, I would be safe from whoever was chasing me. I ran and ran, but the woods seemed endless until suddenly I was standing on a cliff. I looked down, and all I could see was a loch that seemed too far to survive the drop. When I turned to look where to run next, four faceless men were surrounding me.” Cairstine looked up at Eoin, her smile delicate. “That’s when I heard you calling to me. You told me to jump, that you’d catch me, that you’d hold me forever. I did. The next thing I knew, I was awake, and you were holding me.”
“You’re a brave lass,leannan. I’m proud of you.”
“I’m not brave at all. I was running away in my dream, and I keep having these dreams because I’m running away in real life.”
“What’re you running from?”
Cairstine’s eyes filled with tears once again. “You. And I’m so tired of running, Eo. I just want you to hold me forever.”
“Cairrie, I’m going to. I love you.”
“I love you, Eo. With my whole heart.”
That sat together, Eoin kissing Cairstine’s forehead and temple until the need for more dominated. Cairstine twisted to kneel as their mouths fused together. They couldn’t get enough as they seemed to devour one another. When they couldn’t go another moment longer without a breath, they pulled apart. Cairstine sat facing Eoin.
“Will you tell me what happened in the second one? I think I know, but I think you should tell me.” Eoin took both of Cairstine’s hands in his. She nodded as she composed herself.
“It was the same four faceless men, but this time I could see red in their plaids. I know that doesn’t do much good, since plenty of clans have red in their pattern, but it’s the first time I’ve remembered that. I was at a fair again, but I wasn’t still six-and-ten. It was the present day. I got separated from you somehow, and I was searching and searching for you. Bram was with me this time, and he was helping. But as we passed a booth on the outskirts of the market, someone clobbered Bram over the head and pulled me into the trees. Then it was the same thing in my dream as it was when it really happened. I could feel the pain all over again, the fear, the shame. But rather than it being the Sinclairs and Bram who found me, it was you. You killed all four of them. That’s when I woke up, and I was where I needed to be.”
“Cairstine, I will always come for you. Always. If you’re scared of the gathering, I’ll make sure you’re by my side always or with family.” Eoin smiled as he kissed her forehead. “I might even be so trusting as to let Fingal guard you.”
“It felt so real. I just kept thinking I can’t let this happen again,” Cairstine sighed.
“Cairrie, there’s something I probably should have told you before we even arrived here.” Eoin feared she wouldn’t forgive him for the secret he kept. “Mo chridhe, you’re still a maiden. Whatever they did, I know it hurt you, but you’re a virgin.”
“That’s can’t be. It can’t. It hurt too much.” Cairstine couldn’t process what Eoin told her. It was the opposite of what she’d believed for years.
“Cairrie, when we were at the riverbank, I thought I felt your maidenhead, but I couldn’t reconcile it with what you’d told me. Then I got distracted,” Eoin flashed her a guilty smile. “When I felt it again, I almost told you, but I didn’t,” he finished lamely.
“How could you not tell me that? How dare you keep such a secret from me?” Cairstine sat, stunned.
“Would it have changed aught? You might believe you have more choices for husbands, and you do, but would it have erased the fear, the sheer terror of having a mon that close to you?” Eoin tried to keep his frustration from his voice, but it was a losing battle.
“I don’t have more choices for a husband.” When Eoin made to object, Cairstine put her finger against his lips then traded it for her own lips. She pressed a tender kiss as Eoin relaxed. “I don’t have more choices because I’ve already made mine. You’re my husband, Eoin. Or I pray you will be. You’re right. Knowing wouldn’t have changed everything. I feared a husband finding out I wasn’t an innocent less than I feared being forced into bed with someone.”
