Eoin lifted Cairstine into his lap, her arms coiled around his neck. His hand inched from her hip to her breast, which he cupped. The weight of the globe in his palm released a deep groan which only added to their frenzy. Eoin shifted Cairstine, so she straddled his lap, his hands dipping beneath her gown’s hem. His fingertips grazed the back of her calves as they made their way to her thighs. The heat felt like a brand as Cairstine rocked her hips forward, searching for Eoin’s length and the friction her body demanded. Eoin squeezed her legs, massaging the toned muscles, reminding him of how he’d often wished she was riding him rather than Twinkle. He slid his hands to cup her bare bottom, drawing her closer.
“Riders approach!” A man’s voice shattered the mood, causing Cairstine and Eoin to jerk apart. As if baffled by how Cairstine came to be straddling Eoin’s legs, they stared at one another before they remembered where they were. Eoin lifted Cairstine off his lap and steadied her when her legs threatened to buckle. “Gordons arriving!”
Eoin’s head whipped toward the gates as the portcullis rose. His father, Ewan, Allyson, and an entourage of warriors rode into the bailey. Cairstine smoothed back her hair as her mortification increased. She’d been ready to give herself to Eoin in the garden, where anyone could see. It would be obvious to everyone that they’d been kissing. Her swollen lips and chin, abraded by Eoin’s whiskers, would announce what they’d been doing. The Gordons believed Eoin was only here to pretend.
Eoin noted her expression. “Do you wish for me to greet them alone? Would you rather slip into the keep?”
Cairstine shook her head. “People saw us come out here. They’ll expect me by your side. If you’re seen leaving the garden alone, gossip will spread.”
“Cairstine, we can go inside, and I can come out alone to greet them,” Eoin offered, but Cairstine shook her head.
“I can’t hide from your family. It would be rude not to be with you when my supposed family-by-marriage arrives. We must keep up the ruse.” Cairstine’s voice sounded lame to her ears, but Eoin went rigid. He cast her an indiscernible glance before taking her hand and practically dragging her out of the garden. She trotted to keep up with him, realizing she’d said something to offend—no, worse than that—hurt Eoin.
They met the Gordons as they dismounted. Eoin stepped forward to greet his brother, the embrace a genuine sign of the brothers’ affection for one another. A wave of guilt overcame Cairstine as she considered for the first time how much Eoin sacrificed to help her. She knew the twins were never apart, and she wondered if this was the longest they’d been separated. All because of her.
Eoin embraced Allyson, and Andrew pounded his son on the back rather than embrace, but the happiness to see his son was clear on the older man’s face. Cairstine hung back, not wanting to intrude on the family moment. She wanted to slink away. She’d been honest; failing to greet the Gordons would be rude, so she steeled herself when three sets of eyes swung toward her. Andrew and Ewan kissed her hand, but Allyson had been observing Cairstine and pulled her in for a hug.
“Let’s talk in the morning,” Allyson whispered. Cairstine nodded, and they released one another.
“It is a pleasure to welcome you to Freuchie Castle and Clan Grant,” Cairstine tried to infuse warmth into her voice, and she supposed she succeeded, as their guests returned her smile. “You must be famished and exhausted. Once it grew late, we didn’t expect you until tomorrow.”
“Ewan whittles worse than an auld woman. He refused to let us ride faster than a canter for fear of jostling me and the bairn, but then grew irritated—with everyone but himself, mind you—when he realized we would have to camp for another night. He was beside himself to think I’d have to sleep on the ground twice.” Allyson huffed her mock frustration until her husband lifted her off her feet and gave her a smacking kiss.
Cairstine wasn’t sure what to make of the unabashed display of affection, especially since Eoin stood coldly aloof beside her. “Please come inside. You can warm yourselves by the fire, and I will send for food and for maids to prepare chambers too,” Cairstine offered. She glanced up at Eoin, but he was looking at his family, who in turn were looking at her. She smiled but felt more like an intruder than a hostess. She missed the feel of Eoin’s arm around her, having grown used to it either over her shoulders or around her waist whenever they were together. Without looking at her, he lifted her arm and placed her hand on his forearm. It was distant and courtly, and it pained Cairstine. When they entered the keep, Cairstine ushered the Gordons to chairs around the hearth before excusing herself to make arrangements.
“The air here is chillier than I expected,” Ewan elbowed Eoin, but his grin faded when Eoin didn’t smile. Ewan glanced at Allyson, who nodded, before Ewan tipped his head to the side. The brothers stepped away, Ewan assessing Eoin’s expression and stance. “You love her, but you’ve had a falling out. Recently.”
It was one of the rare moments that Eoin regretted how perceptive they were to one another’s thoughts and moods. He nodded, then shook his head. Ewan cocked an eyebrow, and Eoin sighed. “We were in the garden together,” Eoin gave his brother a pointed look. “But she reminded me as you rode in that we must keep up the ruse.”
“It hasn’t felt much like playing pretend lately, has it?” Ewan whispered.
“No, it hasn’t,” Eoin confessed.
“You were only supposed to become betrothed. A handfast is quite a bit more. Is there reason why you might not be able to repudiate it?”
“I haven’t coupled with her, though we’ve come close more than once.”
“That’s an improvement, isn’t it?”
“Nay. She doesn’t panic, but it’s only lust. I fear how much she’ll regret it the moment she feels—” Eoin closed his eyes and shook his head.
“The lass looked as stricken as you did,” Ewan pointed out. “That smile was as phony as Allyson’s courtly face. She scarpered away like a mouse with the butcher on her tail.”
“And we must retire to our chamber once you’re settled,” Eoin moaned.
“Chamber? As in the singular?”
“Aye. Her mother moved my satchel into Cairstine’s chamber as soon as I blurted out that we’d handfasted. I couldn’t very well return to the guest chamber when the sign was so clear that they expect us to sleep together.” Eoin’s cheeks heated. “I mean share a chamber.”
“They do expect you to sleep together. Isn’t that the problem?” Ewan prodded.
“It is for my bollocks,” Eoin grumbled. “Ewan, I understand now what you said before I left. I could live without having bairns of my own. But I don’t know that I can live day in and day out loving her and not being able to show her.”
“Does she refuse all affection, all love play? Her lips and chin say otherwise.”
“Nay. We nearly went too far once, but I stopped us.”
“Why? Did she grow afraid?”
