My mouth drops open as I think back to that moment. His face was blank, but it was like his sadness was infecting me. I blow out a breath through pinched lips. “I still don’t get what this all means…”
“That we are paired. Mates.”
I frown. “Didn’t you say a ‘mate’ is the equivalent of ‘marriage’ for you? I’m a human. And a slave. And I broke your vow. And you’re a king.” I cut myself off before I start sounding whiny or insecure. I’m neither of those things, but I am a realist. The one thing I know to be true is that my life is not some happy fairytale with godmothers and ball gowns. There’s no Prince Charming or magical love that will solve all my problems, and it’s more likely I’ll have my heels sliced off than wear glass slippers to a ball.
Vexar reaches for my hand, but I pull back. He grimaces and says, “None of that matters now. You are mine, and I am yours.”
Nope. “No.” I point a finger at him. “I don’t belong to you. Besides, isn’t your government supposed to choose your mate?”
He runs a hand down his face. “You have a lot of fight for someone so small.”
My mouth drops open. “And you’ve got a lot of confidence for someone so wounded!”
He doesn't look amused, and I have to admit it isn’t my best work.
“I will have white hair long before I should,” he mumbles in what I assume is Vhorathi. Fortunately, my translator makes quick work of it.
“The fuck did you just say?” Even while I’m verbally sparring with him, my body is betraying me—prickling and tingling beneath his gaze and with the deep vibrations of his voice. Worse than that, I’m enjoying arguing with him. Like, a lot.I’m so fucked.
“Amara, that rule does not apply to us. Tothis. Our bondsupersedes any chosen mate, and any outdated rule.” The muscles in his jaw tick. “If you choose to accept the bond, it will be binding in every sense of the word. No one will separate us, and I will not let any harm come to you.” He shakes his head. “That did not come out right. Even if you do not accept the bond, I will not let any harm come to you.”
Binding.He said, “binding”. One more word that tightens my chest and sparks a perverse sort of interest. Would it really be so bad to just?—
Oh god, I’m considering this. I’m considering going along with this. The urge to just say ‘fuck it’ and kiss him is almost too much to bear. Except at some point, this fantasyisgoing to fall apart, and he’ll realize he can’t save me. What happens then?
That annoying voice in the back of my head chimes in with another,Trust him.
Even if I went along with all of this and he managed to get us out of here alive, what then? I’d betetheredto a stranger for the rest of my life? I don’t know if that’s something I should even be considering. Then again, I sort of want to. I mean, what do I have to lose?
Breathing gets hard, like sucking air through a straw.
Would it really be so bad being stuck with Vexar forever? He’s handsome, kind, thoughtful, and introspective. He’s great.But I don’t know him.At least, not really. It feels like I do, but I’m smarter than that.
Then again, maybe this is a chance to do something greater. Something bigger. A chance to be a team with someone again. And damn if that isn’t the most tempting part of all of this.
I take a steadying breath and ask the most important question I have, “Will you help me stop Gaius?” He already said he would, but now that I can feel his emotions, any promise hemakes will hold a lot more weight. It’s the one thing I need to know before letting myself have this.
His expression turns serious, and he says, “I will.”
And I believe him.
18
WOVEN
VEXAR
“IWILL,” I answer. I have already told her as much, but she is slow to trust, and I cannot blame her for that.
“Ok,” she says, nodding her head like she is coming to terms with everything. “You said it’s permanent? The bond?”
Everything I know about the Zhyrrak is mired in conflicting information, and none of it is aligning with the actual experience. It is difficult to be certain of anything.
I glance down at the bandage around her knee and resist the urge to give her my honest assessment of our situation. If she panics, it will be nearly impossible to ensure her safety. And considering the conflicting information I have, there is every chance thesasi-temwáis just another myth inflated over time. All I know is that she should have a choice in this. Even if that choice is mostly an illusion.
“If you accept it, it will be permanent,” I say.
“Right,” she says slowly.
