And I felt his gaze on me the entire time.
This stuffing feelings thing was going to be next to impossible.
Chapter 10
Dylan
“…and we’re rolling in 3, 2,” James mouthed ‘one’then pointed at us.
It took everything inside me not to roll my eyes at the asshole.
“Dylan,” Austin barked as he stomped into the paint shed. “We need to talk.”
“When don’t we need to talk?” I muttered from the opposite side of the room where I’d been organizing my paint cans.
“Outside,” Austin all but shouted.
My eyes flicked toward the camera before I walked across the room and out the door he’d used.
“You want to explain this?” Austin asked, not waiting for the camera to catch up to us. He pointed at the mural on the side of the shop.
I couldn’t stop the smirk that curved my lips. It looked damned good in the light of day. The mountain of poor cats. The pathetic expression on their faces. The arc of piss coming from the fat cat. The smug smirk on his face. And the Badass Builds logo shining from the back of his jacket. “It’s an ode to capitalism and trickle-down economy.”
“Why the fuck is it on the side of my building?”
I shrugged. “Because I was feeling artistic Friday night and didn’t have a canvas laying around. They’re all back at my condo.”
“Seriously, Dylan? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Like hell would I ever sell Indy out. And half of it was mine anyhow. She might’ve started it, but I finished it.
And made it personal.
“It’s not about you, if that makes any difference.”
Austin’s head went back like I’d slapped him. “It’s not?”
“No.” I shook my head.
“Then wha… Who is it about?”
“Me. I’m the asshole standing on top of the pile, pissing on everyone. Pissing on my brothers. On our family. On our contacts in the industry. On everyone who helped us.”
He sighed heavily then rubbed a hand over his face. “That’s not what I expected you to say.”
“What? It’s true. I’m the asshole who spoke up at our sperm donor’s parole. I’m the one who fell for his lies. I’m the one who screwed our friends over time and again getting that asshole jobs. I’m the one who almost—” I cut myself off and shook my head. Not everything that happened was out there. We’d managed to keep my whole blackmail, unintentional drug running, and almost prison sentence out of public knowledge. After a beat, I cleared my throat and finished. “I’m the one who almost imploded our family.”
Austin stared back at me with all this emotion in his eyes. Things he no doubt wanted to say but wouldn’t because of the cameras. He was always aware of their presence.
After a long moment, he took a step back and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I had no idea you felt that way.”
“Why would you?” I gave a sad fucking laugh that embarrassed me for a second. I wasn’t prepared for all the emotions that leaked out of me. “You won’t talk to me unless it’s to rail at me for something I fucked up. And you don’t need to, by the way. I know there’s nothing—nothing—I can do that can ever make up for all the bullshit I caused you and everyone else. I can never say ‘I’m sorry’ enough.”
“How about you say just one?”
I blinked. “Are you fucking kidding me? Where were you last night? And before that? I’ve said I’m sorry after he burned down Aunt Wendy’s restaurant. I said I’m sorry after all the shit went down with…the client,” I finished lamely. “I said sorry at dinner last night. You don’t hear it. You don’t fucking care. You’re too busy making sure I know that I’m a fuck-up to even listen to me. Newsflash: I know I’m a fuck-up. I painted it on the side of our goddamn building.Believe me,I know.”
The air around us all but vibrated with emotion.
