His throat bobbed and his eyes looked suspiciously wet as he looked away at the sound of someone approaching.
Make that two someones—Nathan and Ryan with a camera trailing them.
“Uh, hey guys.” Nathan’s eyes darted from my panting chest to Austin’s avoidance. “Did we miss something?”
Ryan stopped next to him and gave me that look that was all too familiar these days—concern. Like I was going to go over the edge and do something stupid or crazy.
Again.
I just shook my head. “Just the usual.” I turned back to Austin. “I’m not painting over it. If you want it gone, you do it.”
I waited a beat for him to say or do something.
But he didn’t.
He couldn’t even look at me.
“Whatever.” I shook my head and took off for the main shop building.
* * *
“Uh, how’s it going?”
I spun around at Ryan’s voice but relaxed when I saw it was just him, no camera crew in pursuit. “It’s whatever. I’m used to it by now.”
“I got the gist of what went down from James’ questions. Despite your apology last night, I had no idea you considered yourself the family fuck up. Because for the record, you’re not. By my estimation, it’s a four-way tie.”
I scoffed. “Get real.”
“No, I’m serious. Austin couldn’t—and wouldn’t—face shit for the longest time. Judging by how your conversation ended, he’s still running from confrontation. I had to go to anger management to deal with my shit. Nathan has had his own anger demons and avoidance. It took him how long to wake up to wanting to be with Maddie? And then he almost lost her because he wanted revenge instead of making sure she was okay. It’s not just you; we’re all fuck ups.”
“I appreciate you trying, but it’s not even slightly even, and you know it.”
“I know you’re family, and I’m always going to love you. Anyone who can’t see that you’re trying to be a better man is fucking blind, and I’ll tell them that to their face.”
I looked down and shook my head. Ryan was the best of all of us. He’d gone to anger management on his own because he didn’t like how he’d looked on our show. He owned his shit. I’d spent most of my life wanting to be like him.
I still wanted to be just like Ryan when I grew up. “You’ve always made me want to be better—when I was little, now. You’re the best man I know, Ryan, and I’m sorry for all the ways I’ve disappointed you.”
He gave an exasperated huff. “Have you switched bodies with Austin? Because I swear to god, it sounds like you’re not hearing me. You’re not a disappointment. You’re trying to be better—do better—and I see it. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve got nothing to apologize for anymore. You learned a really fucking important lesson. This is the part where we move on. I forgave, you don’t forget.”
I chewed on my cheek and nodded tightly. “Thanks, man.”
“Now, what’s going on with you and the new girl?”
“Seriously?” I groaned, scrubbing my face. “Nothing. She needed help, and so did we here at the shop. We’re not screwing. I haven’t so much as kissed her.” Nothing was going to happen. The last thing Indy needed right now was a horny creep making her feel unsafe.
Because that was what I’d be—a creep. She was vulnerable. And alone. And scared.
She deserved to feel safe.
“But she’s living with you,” Ryan pointed out.
“How do you know that?”
He shrugged. “Maddie mentioned it to the girls at book club last weekend, and then Hope told me.”
I sighed. This family was always thick with gossip. “Her dad disappeared and she got evicted because he was behind on rent. It’s…whatever.”
