“So I’m guessing she told you about what that prick, Noah, did to her?” Adam growled.
Logan’s eyes shifted back into concern and question as I felt heat rise to my cheeks. “Um—” I started, but was interrupted by another knock at the door.
“That’s probably Rachel,” Adam said as he moved toward the front of the apartment.
I kept my eyes on Logan, who was looking at me with such intensity that I could feel him piercing into my mind. “What happened?” he asked, voice low enough for only me to hear.
“It’s really not a big deal . . .” I smiled, knowing my cheeks were likely flushed by now. “Come on, let’s greet Rachel.” I stood up and turned away from him, thankful that Rachel’s arrival had provided me with an excuse to avoid this conversation. For now.
ChapterFive
Sittingin the backseat of my brother’s BMW, I watched as the quaint, brick boutiques and bustling coffee shops flew by through the window. Adam was driving, softly murmuring to Rachel who sat next to him in the front passenger’s seat. Their hands were clasped together on top of the center console.
As we’d all made our way toward the car in the parking garage, Logan had graciously insisted Rachel take the coveted shotgun spot as he opened the car door to the backseat for himself. Climbing in on the other side, I couldn’t help feeling engrossed by theclosenessof Logan’s large body seated next to mine. I briefly wondered if he’d done this on purpose, to sit with me in the backseat—before shutting down the thought.
In the ten or so minutes that we’d been on the road, I’d done my best to keep my focus on the world outside the car, but every inch of my body still jolted awake at the seating arrangement.
I snuck a quick glance at Logan, trying to get a handle on what might have been going through his head. His back was ramrod straight, hands resting on his knees, and he looked like he was ready to bail out of the car at any moment and roll right on out to the highway.
Okay . . . maybe he hadn’t done this on purpose.
“So, how do you and Adam know each other, Logan?” Rachel asked from the front. Odd question—surely Adam had told her all about his best friend? Maybe she was just trying to find an excuse to fill the air with some small talk.
Logan cleared his throat. “Same kindergarten class. We’ve been best friends for practically our whole lives.”
“Ohhhh, that’s a long time!” she responded excitedly.
“How didyouand my brother meet?” I chimed in.
Adam and Rachel briefly looked at each other and smiled before Adam returned his focus to the road. “Well, we first met at CSU in our pre-med program . . .” Rachel started to say.
“You’re a doctor too?” I interrupted. For some reason, I hadn’t seen that coming. She was too . . . stylish. Too chic.
“No, I’m actually a biomedical engineer.”
I stared at the back of Rachel’s headrest, at a loss for words. I definitely hadn’t seenthatcoming. “A biomedical engineer? Wow. That sounds intense.”
Rachel giggled. “The title sounds fancier than it really is.”
Logan jumped in, the expression on his face equally as surprised. “What does that even mean?”
“I help create and design medical devices. Right now I’m working on developing mock-ups for a new line of artificial limbs.”
Logan and I both looked at each other wide-eyed, momentarily forgetting about our current proximity to each other. “Wow,” I said. “That’s way cooler than Adam being a neurosurgeon.”
Adam chuckled. “No doubt. She’s way cooler than me.” I watched as he looked at Rachel again, like he couldn’t repress the need to get his eyes back on her. And even in such a fleeting moment, it was obvious that he was positively beaming.
My heart flipped inside of my chest. Adam was clearly in love with this girl. The realization reaffirmed that I needed to get to know her as much as I could during this visit to Breckenridge, because something told me she was going to be around for a long time.
Settling back into my seat, I watched the bright yellow foliage of the Aspen trees whirl by. It wouldn’t be long now until everything glittered underneath a layer of snow.
It was such a romantic time of year, when the season changed from the soft, warm glow of autumn to a snowy winter wonderland. Seeing Adam so obviously swept up in the throes of his own love story was beautiful to witness, but it also left me feeling like I was swirling inside of a big, gaping hole within my own life—the empty space where love should have been. Completely hollowed out like a Halloween pumpkin.
As much as I’d tried, I could never quite uncover my own happily ever after. I’d spentsomuch time with Noah—almost three whole years that now felt utterly wasted. And the worst part was that I knew deep down I couldn’t fully blame him. Sure, his infidelity was the nail on the coffin of our relationship, but I’d also contributed to being back at square one in the love department. My complacency had ultimately been just as problematic as his cheating.
I should have ended things with Noah awhile ago. Our relationship had always been pleasant enough, like a comfortable routine—but somewhere inside of me was always the small reality that I was settling. I knew that I deserved more. That I deserved tofeelmore.
I’d been lying to myself before I’d ever even met Noah. For so long, I lived within the chaos of my feelings for another man. Feelings that I’d refused to admit to until the night that ruined us, shredding us apart like tissue paper in a hurricane. Feelings that I’d since spent a lot of time overcoming and putting to rest deep, deep down inside of my heart. ButhadI actually overcome them? Or was I still here today, continuing to lie to myself?
