“If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know. I can stick Cam on him if you need.” She chuckles. “Although after their last game, I think Cole may be a bit more open to not being a dick to you.”
My mind instantly shifts back to the game, when I watched him get lit the fuck up by every Nighthawks player. They came to my defense without hesitation.
When I’d moved here, I’d never expected to find such a sense of family with the team, with Jensen, with Morgan, but here I am, knowing that there’s nothing they wouldn’t do for me, and vice versa.
“I think Cam’s going to propose soon.” Her admission fumbles past her lips like she’s been holding it in for too long, taking me by surprise.
“Really?” I whisper-shout excitedly. “Congrats, Morgan!”
Morgan beams. “Yeah. He’s been acting all weird lately with a couple things. I don’t know why guys think they are sneaky because we pay way too much attention for them to get anything past us.”
I laugh in agreement. “I know. Jensen surprised me last night with a bunch of baby stuff in his spare bedroom, offering to turn it into a nursery. He literally couldn’t wait to tell me, and he met me in the parking garage, nearly spoiling it.”
“These guys …” She trails off, grinning. “We sure got lucky.” A haunting gleam passes through her stare.
“Can … can I tell you something?” My question takes me by surprise.
She nods vigorously. “Of course.”
I fidget with my coffee cup, avoiding her gaze. “There’s still something I want to tell Jensen, and I know that he won’t react the way my anxiety and insecurities lead me to believe. But after how Cole handled it, there’s still this gut-wrenching fear that it’ll change everything between Jensen and me.”
Reaching out, she takes my hand, and I bravely meet her eyes.
“The man put a nursery in his house for you. He beat your ex with a crutch. I don’t think anything you do could scare him away.” She wets her lips. “But trust me when I say that the demons haunting our pasts and the scars they left behind don’t control us and who we are today; they don’t scare away the men we love. If you want to tell me, to practice run it, you absolutely can.”
I take a shuddering breath as her words sink deep into my soul. “Last year, I, umm … was attacked … raped. I didn’t knowthe man or see his face. He wore a ski mask.” My fingers drift up to the milky scar on my neck. “He had a knife and nearly killed me. I think one of the things that still haunts me is that I didn’t fight him. I didn’t try to escape. It was like I couldn’t move; I was in my body like a bystander.
“For a while after the assault, I couldn’t be touched without freaking out, especially by Cole. But eventually, I found a way through it, disappearing into my mind while he used my body for what he needed. I did what I thought was right for our relationship, to keep us together. Honestly, until Jensen, I thought that was kind of normal for victims. But I didn’t go anywhere in my mind when I was with him. I stayed present the entire time.”
She nods knowingly, her eyes welling with tears. “Because you truly wanted to be with Jensen.” Anger flashes in her gaze. “With Cole, you were surviving. He knew damn well that he was coercing you into sex and didn’t care because he was getting what he wanted regardless of what he was doing to you.
“I might have to kill him myself. He deserves it for doing that to you.” She huffs aggressively, her anger validation for the rage I felt last night after realizing what he had done. “I’m so glad that you found a safe place and person with Jensen. I found that with Cam after what I went through with my ex.”
She looks down at the small scars that pepper her skin. “These were from the night he pushed me through a glass table and let me lay there for hours in the broken pieces.”
My heart breaks. “Oh God, Morgan.”
“That was a different life I feel like sometimes.” Her eyes disappear to another time. “I had to fake my death to get away from him, but he eventually found me once I started dating Cam. But he’s gone now, and I’m free.”
This time, it’s me reaching out and taking her hand to give her comfort. “Good.”
The barista walks back over with small plates—two breakfast sandwiches and fruit. “Here you go!”
“Thank you,” I murmur, taking another sip of my drink.
Morgan and I dig into our sandwiches, not discussing our pasts any longer. We don’t need to. We understand each other on a whole new level, recognizing the scars and darkness for what they are without saying another word.
Instead, we talk about her potential upcoming engagement and my baby, beaming over the exciting things to come.
We aren’t our pasts; they don’t define us, no matter how hard they may try. We are who we want to be, carving our own paths in the world, grateful that we found someone true along the way.
When we finish breakfast, we hug each other goodbye before I head back to the penthouse.
I still can’t believe Jensen’s letting me use his car whenever I please. Honestly, I missed having a vehicle. It only made Cole’s house feel more like a cage that I couldn’t just leave without planning out a ride.
Being in the cloud he placed around me, I didn’t see him for who he truly was. A narcissist, an asshole, a creep who used me. How could I have been so blind to the person he was?
Regardless, I can see clearly now, not just him, but the world around me, and I’m going to put the energy that I gave him into someone who deserves it.
