He texted me that he was going out to dinner with Davis before his meeting. From what he’s told me, he’s doing really well. He’s starting his fourth step, and I know he’s really nervous about it. I’m also working on my fourth step in Al-Anon. Thankfully, my sponsor is Clara. She started Al-Anon when Mac and I first reconnected. I guess they tried to force him to get sober around that time. He wasn’t ready so it didn’t click, but she stuck with the program. Because she’s my sponsor it’s more comfortable to filet myself open to her versus someone who has no idea about the lives I’ve lived and the family I’ve come from.
As if just thinking about her conjured her up, my phone starts ringing and Clara’s name flashes on the screen.
“Hey, where are you?” I ask as soon as I answer. She was supposed to be here ten minutes ago.
“I’m outside of your door. Rowan took a little longer telling me bye than I anticipated.” I can practically see her crimson cheeks in my mind. Rowan and Clara have been together for years, and yet he still can’t keep his hands off of her for more than a few hours.
“I’m coming. I mean, not like you probably just were, but I’m walking to the door to let you in.” Working hard to fight back my grin as I open the door to a shocked Clara. She hangs up her cell phone.
“I can’t believe you just said that!” She exclaims in horror.
“Then you don’t know me at all.” I laugh.
We’ve become great friends over the past month, and she typically stops by every few days when the men in my family aren’t here. Clara’s story is heartbreaking. It’s not mine to share, however, she is nervous around men who don’t have the last name Byrne. Moving aside, I make room for her to come in. Her shirt strains just slightly around the small bump that’s starting to show. She’s almost four months pregnant, and she carries it so well. Envy and a little jealousy claw at my heart, but like every other time, I push it down. I don’t want kids right now anyways. How could I? Their mom is in desperate need of a kidney before she dies, and their dad is a newly recovering alcoholic.
Shaking those thoughts from my head, I follow Clara to the living room.
“So how are you feeling about today?” She probes.
“I’m nervous. I’ve been actively avoidinghis questions about how I’ve been. I don’t want to worry him.” My teeth begin to chew on my inner cheek.
“They’ve upped your dialysis to five days a week, Lee. He’s going to find out when he gets here tonight.”
“Right, but then we can talk about it in person. Imagine you were sick and Roe was unable to see you but three days a month. Would you want to tell him about how shitty you feel?”
“Rowan would drop everything and sacrifice his own well being to be with me.” She speaks in a low voice like it’s all clicking when she puts herself in my shoes.
“Exactly. People don’t compare Mac and Rowan just because they look alike. They think and act pretty damn similar too.”
“You’re right, he’d throw it all away if he knew you were getting worse. So what’s your plan for after you tell him tonight? He’s not going to want to leave you.”
“I’m going to call Davis or Declan if I have to. We’ll set up a plan he’s comfortable with and go from there.” At least, that’s what I hope is going to happen.
“Lee, you’ve lost over twenty pounds since last month. I don’t think it’s going to be that easy, but if you need reinforcements, please call me and Rowan. We’ll come right over.”
“I will, I promise. I think Declan and Annie will be here tonight. He’ll be okay, and if he refuses to leave, he has five brothers and I have two and a Papa. He’s not throwing his recovery away because of me.”
She laughs as she shakes her head, “If you think that eight men are going to keep him from you, you are majorly underestimating him.”
We move off of Mac and instead turn on our favorite show about contestants who have to compete, and at the end of the season only one winner remains. Before we know it, Rowan’s knocking on the door to pick up Clara. She lets him in, and he walks straight over to me, who’s still lounging on the couch hooked up to the machine that filters my blood out of my body, cleans it, then puts it back. I have maybe ten more minutes before Tory can unhook me and I can continue on with my life.
He drops a kiss onto the top of my head before straightening up, “Lelonie.”
“Rowan.” I mimic his no nonsense voice, which makes him crack a rare smirk.
“Mac’s got his hands full with you. My poor brother.”
My jaw drops in mock appall. “Rude! Have you met yourself or your brothers? I’ve never met a needier bunch of grown men.”
“We aren’t needy. We just like having our emotional support wives and girlfriends with us at all times. Judge someone else, Lee.” The humor dances in his mossy green eyes. The exact same color as the ones I’m in love with but belong to a different man.
“Yeah, yeah. Go on, take your emotional support wife home, you caveman.”
Without pause, Rowan scoops Clara into his arms. “What are you doing, Rowan?” She asks in shock.
“Me, Rowan. You, Clara. Go home, make more babies.” I can’t help but laugh as they walk out.
Snuggling into my spot, I let my eyes rest but not before shooting my sister and Declan a text letting them know to let themselves in when they all get here. I just need a quick nap.
