The black iron gate immediately begins to swing open. My shoes click against the rocky path as I walk towards his front door, eyes wide as Nathan opens it with a downturned mouth and a worrisome crease between his eyebrows.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him as I stand on his porch, my voice wavering. “I—I didn’t have anywhere else to go.” I don’t know what I look like, but I have no doubt my cheeks are flushed, and my eyes are glassy.
“Come here.” He opens his arms for me, and I hurry into them, burying my face into his chest.
I shouldn’t be here—crying into Nathan Slater’s chest. But I can’t find a cell in my body that cares about the contract right now. My world is disintegrating around me, and the only thing stopping it is having Nathan’s arms around me.
“Tell me what happened. Seeing you cry is killing me.” His finger tilts my chin up, his frown emphasising when he gets a better look at my tear-streaked face. I fucking hate crying in front of people, and I feel like an idiot right now.
He leads me away from the chill of the open door.
“I’m sorry, this is so embarrassing,” I sniffle.
“Never apologise for having feelings, Mae.” Nathan crouches in front of me as I sit on his couch. “Now, there’s got to be a good reason you came to me, of all people.” He chuckles.
Him of all people? Does he not realise what he does to me?
“My mom—she hates me.” I attempt to calm my racing heart. I’m unsure if Nathan already knows, but I don’t want him to hear this through the grapevine. I want it to come from me. “The reason I came to Missarali was because I lost my job.”
His face is blank, and he just nods, not an ounce of judgment staining his features.
“The company couldn’t afford to keep me any longer, which meantIcouldn’t afford to stay in Colorado, so I had to move back here. But my mom only agreed to have me if I joined the cheerleading squad for the season. We agreed to keep it between us, but she told Sophia, and now I’m really fucking embarrassed.”
Nathan is silent for a few seconds before he says, “Well, it’s no surprise that your mom wanted something in return for having you stay with her.”
“I don’t get it. I understand I’m not the daughter she wants, but why would that make her hate me? I thought love for a child was unconditional.”
“Some people just aren’t supposed to be parents.”
It’s true. My mother’s never been overly maternal. But she got worse when my father left. I often think that he was the one who pushed to have children.
“It’s not a reflection of you, though. You need to remember that, okay?” Nathan cocks his head at me, waiting for an answer, and I nod doubtfully. “Just because you love the ocean doesn’t mean you have to drown in it, Mae.”
My heart throbs at the comment, realising how true it is. I love my mother. She’s my flesh and blood, but she makes it hard to breathe, and I deserve to respire painlessly.
I know when it’s time to let someone go, but it still kills me inside.
“I’m a big believer in choosing your family,” he continues. “Just because she was born your mom doesn’t mean she has to stay.”
It’s logic I haven’t had the strength to try to process yet.
“Everyone on the cheerleading squad probably knows now.”
Nathan shrugs. “And who cares? So, your previous company failed to see your potential? That’s their loss. I’ve seen the way you are around animals, Mae. You love them. Unconditionally. You want to help them because it makes you feel good. That’s the kind of person you are. You’re selfless.” He pushes a strand of hair away from my face. “Never lose that. It’s your gift.”
More tears fall from my eyes as I smile, realising how close we are. My eyes flick down to his lips, and I stare at them. I’m feeling vulnerable right now, and I don’t give a fuck if Nathan knows I want him.
“I can’t, princess,” he says, sighing, his eyes trained on me. Intense and strained. “Not when you’re like this. I want you to have a clear head if it happens again.”
If.I don’t like that word.
I swallow and nod. I fully understand why he doesn’t want to kiss me right now. Emotions are high.
He huffs, grinding his teeth together in frustration as he cups my cheeks. A torn groan slips past his lips as he drops his forehead down onto my thigh. “Trust me, I want to kiss you, Mae. But I want you to focus on processing your emotions right now. Not distracting yourself from them.”
“No, I get that. Thank you.”
“If you still want to kiss me after that, though, I’d happily oblige.”
