I moved without knowing what I was doing. My dress was back on and I struggled to zip it up. A hand met my upper arm. “Violet. Baby. Look at me. Something’s wrong. I can’t let you leave like this. I’m worried about you. Tell me what’s wrong.”
If only I could have.
I forced a hollow smile and turned so he could zip my dress. “I’m good. I’ll see you at brunch.”
I heard his calls behind me as I stepped into the hallway, but I didn’t look back. I moved forward, just like I always had.
EIGHT
COLTON
WHITE SULPHUR SPRINGS, WEST VIRGINIA
It was justlike when she left the last time. And it felt just as devastating. Violet vacuumed herself out of my life again. The only thing remaining was her perfume on my skin, on the hotel sheets.
She avoided me at brunch, though at one point I stood next to her when talking to Mikey and Jessie, who had apparently gotten engaged after the reception. Typical Mikey shit.
While I stood next to her, I about crawled out of my skin with the urge to check on her. Her body language didn’t encourage that, and I knew nothing good would come of me disrespecting her space. I watched her leave the brunch without so much as a backwards glance. I sat and waited for far too long, hoping she’d just gone to the bathroom and not left entirely.
I was the last person to leave the brunch.
When Violet left me the first time, we’d had sex the night before. She was quieter than usual, a little tense maybe, but I just figured she was tired and worried about school. She fell asleep in my arms like always.
But when I woke up to her crying, gathering up her clothes, and leaving all my borrowed ones in a neat pile on my desk, it didn’t feel like she was leaving because of school. I begged her to tell me what was wrong, and she just said she was under a lot of pressure. Later, I got the text that she couldn’t see me anymore.
I begged. I pleaded. I sent flowers, countless texts. I threw pebbles at her window when I was drunk and desperate for answers. The last text I had in my phone before her “u up” text was, “Please stop contacting me. I’m too busy with school and can’t lose focus. We’re over.”
The parallels to the last time haunted me. What if the sex was the problem? It was like she disappeared, replaced with some terrified, shellshocked person I didn’t recognize. The Violet I knew was tenacious, quite literally no shrinking violet. This Violet was like an injured animal backed into a corner, panicked and lashing out in every way possible.
Was this the missing piece of the puzzle? Not just her parents’ opinions of me, not just her work. Had someone hurt Violet?
Worse, was it me?
My stomach turned on the drive back to the airport in Charleston, and not just from the winding mountain roads. I waited until the very last second to get on my flight. Maybe I’d see Vi boarding for Atlanta, where she’d connect to go to Boston. My flight to Minnesota had to go through Chicago, so I wouldn’t be able to sit next to her.
I asked if I could change flights to Atlanta, and the flight attendant gave me a weird look. “Your bags are headed to Chicago.”
I personally didn’t give a fuck where my bags went, but abandoning my bags wasn’t exactly a good look. So I sat, hoping for one last hug, one last word, one last glimpse of Violet.
When the flight attendant looked directly at me and paged me for a “final boarding call,” I gave up and got on the plane.
On the tarmac, I fired off a few texts.
COLTON
Hey. I’m sorry about earlier. I hope you’re ok. I hope I didn’t hurt you. I never want to hurt you.
I get it if you don’t want to talk to me, but know that the door is always open. I’ll always be on your team, even if you don’t want to be together.
I hope there’s a day when we can talk again. Please don’t be shy. I mean it. If I can only be a friend to you, that’s who I’ll be.
Day or night. No matter the season. Just call me. I will always answer for you.
There was one more thing I typed and deleted several times, unsure whether I should send it. In the end, it was time to turn my phone off and I had to make a decision.
She may have left me when I needed her way back when, but I wouldn’t do the same to her. I’d always be there, up with the light on, ready with late night fast food, with open arms, with a heart forever extended to her. Because if this weekend taught me anything, it’s that we weren’t over. Far from it. She’d convince herself she was done, and I’d have to wait until she was ready.
And I would. I’d wait as long as it took, because Violet Gennari was worth waiting for.
