Colt snarled, tightening his lips and pulling me close. His hand dipped into his toiletry bag for a condom. He tore it open with his teeth and sheathed himself. His eyes searched the bathroom and surrounding area before he lifted me off my feet and found our landing spot: against the wall behind the hotel room door.
Vicious as he was being, he was still a king of consent, as always. “You want me to fuck you, Violet? To make you so sore your cunt won’t ever forget me?”
“Yes. Please.”
“Hold on tight, baby.” He notched himself at my entrance. His fiery gaze met mine, both of our mouths dropping open as he pushed inside me with a moan. “Fuck, that’s perfect.”
My inner thighs screamed from clutching his waist, ratcheting my arms tighter and cupping the back of his head. “I loved you, Colton.”
His breath hitched, and I knew why. The “d” on loved wasalmost silent. But he knew what I meant. “I know you did, baby.”
I cried out when he bottomed out in me, hard. I tried grinding to get a better angle on him, but couldn’t quite make it work. Colt got it.
“I won’t drop you. Touch yourself.” My eyes widened, but he softened his voice. “You know I wouldn’t drop you, baby. Lean back against the wall and I’ve got you.”
My head and shoulders flattened against the cool wall. A feral groan escaped Colton as he hemmed me in with his shoulders, sucking on my neck.
So much for not marking me.
My spine grated against the wallpaper behind me, leaving a burn in its wake. The pain only added to the pleasure: Colt buried deep inside me, holding me up, gripping my ass, all while I played with myself.
He dropped his forehead to mine as he rutted into me, slowing his pace to smooth, even thrusts, torturous in their cadence. His words came out stilted, broken by his exertion.
“You have me, Violet. Always. You fucking own me.”
Another desperate cry escaped me, and he spoke again.
“And now you’re going to come for me because you loved me, and I sure as hell loved you.”
It was all so intense. I held onto the back of his neck with one hand, eyes boring into each other. I wanted to tell him everything:I’m leaving, I can’t do this, I want to do this, I’m scared, I’m overwhelmed. But all of those things would ruin the moment. “I can’t,” was all I managed.
A renewed fire burned in his eyes. “Oh, you’re a lot of things, Violet, but you’re no quitter. Turn around.”
At those two little words, panic seized me. A flash of a memory. The black hole. The abyss. Danger. Losing control. The room felt far away, an out of body experience.
“Vi? Hey.” Colton was still inside me and holding me up. My toes stretched downward, trying to find the ground. The snarling beast had left his voice, and sweet Colton returned. “Hey.”
“Don’t touch me.”
“Okay. Okay. Hang on.” He withdrew himself from me and, likely on instinct alone, reached to hold me.
“No!” I snapped.
He held his hands up, showing that he wasn’t going to touch me. “Okay. I won’t. What happened?”
I tried to focus on his eyes but they seemed strangely distorted. My breathing shallowed, like three quarters of my lungs had suddenly been cut off. “I have to go.”
“Vi, I can’t let you go like this. What’s wrong? I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I’m fine,” came the wispy thin words, when I was anything but.
I didn’t have time for this. I couldn’t deal with this. My life was crazy enough as it was.
I had to stay focused. Letting this get to me now could mean the end of everything I’d worked so hard for. I spent my life avoiding the abyss. I avoided violent TV shows. I stopped reading romance novels because, occasionally, they’d give me a flash of the danger. I loved them, but it wasn’t worth the risk.
I knew Colt would love to help me through this. I knew he’d be there if I just said the word. But I couldn’t ask that of him when I couldn’t even ask it of myself.
I had to do what I always did: shove it down and keep going.
