“Colt,” I tried.
He huffed a sad laugh, dropped my hand, and turned away. “I don’t know why I got my hopes up. Goodnight, Violet.”
The doors slid shut and the elevator moved to my floor. But I couldn’t move. I was stuck there, frozen and trying to figure out how to do this.
I couldn’t tell him why I left, because I didn’t fully know why. It was just something I felt. Colton, who had always been safe for me, became dangerous. I wished I could pinpoint it.
But there was one thing I knew that he didn’t, and he deserved to know the part of the truth I could give him.
I frantically pressed the button for his floor, going back down. The doors let me onto his floor and I speed-walkedout. I dropped my shoes in the hallway by the elevators. Who cared? I pulled my skirt up so I could run. My heart pounded as I turned once, then twice, to make it to his room.
I knocked, my heart in my throat, on my sleeve, spilling all over the space outside his door.
Colton opened with sad eyes, an empty husk of who he usually was.
“I loved you,” I rushed out. “I loved you so much, Colton, and I’m sorry I ran, and I’m sorry I can’t?—”
I was cut off when he reached for my waist, pulling me into him and slamming the door shut behind me.
“You loved me,” he forced out, his voice strained, his hand swiping over my hair, then into it. I was pinned to his body, fiddling with his lapel. “Say it again. Please.”
I nodded. “I loved you.”
I only had a split second to glance at his lips before we were there. For the first time since that last time in his bed, we kissed.
He tasted the same. All these years later, and Colton still tasted like Colton. Gently, he backed me into the closed door. I raised on my toes to get closer to him, and his hands settled on my ribs. He did that delicious thing where he scraped his teeth over my bottom lip, and I cried out into his mouth.
He held our faces together, panting. “What do you need?”
“You,” I whimpered. “This.”
Pain laced through his gruff voice. “I need you to tell me exactly what you want.”
I gripped his cheeks. “Colton.”
His thumb traced my bottom lip and his voice lowered to a husky rumble that reverberated between my legs. “I know you can use your words, baby.”
But I didn’t want to use my words. I wanted to be tossed on the bed and ravaged. I wanted to fuck him until he understood that I wantedeverythingand I hated that we couldn’t have it. Iwas tired of talking, tired of thinking, because thinking always led to frustrating dead ends. I wanted to show him.
So I did.
I shoved him back and his arms braced in front of him like I might hit him. I smirked, grabbed him by the tie, and guided him to the bench at the end of his bed. His blue eyes tinged darker and the corner of his lips hooked up. “I liked that.”
“Good.” I stepped between his spread knees, combing my fingers through his hair. I swept them under his jaw to keep his gaze up at me. His pulse thundered under my thumb, my palm resting on his throat.
“Vi,” he breathed. “You’re so sexy.”
While I’d just been a commanding sex goddess, his commentary slowed me down. I wanted furious passion, to let my body show him what my words couldn’t. To show him that leaving him hurt me just as much as it hurt him, that I wished it hadn’t happened how it did.
I was taller than him like this, with him seated. His hands drifted up and landed on my hips, eyes softening. “You loved me?”
“Yeah.” My voice cracked. “I did.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as his eyes scoured my face. “This is really hot, but . . . it really messed me up when you left and,” his voice faltered, “you’re going to leave again.”
“We just have tonight,” I agreed, and I didn’t miss how he deflated. I hated letting him down, but I had to stay strong. I couldn’t reopen the past we shared, our simple love and my garbled mind. I had to keep it together, to keep my hectic life as simple as possible. “Do you not . . . want to?”
He shook his head, eyes going wide. “Oh, I definitely want to. I just think . . . with you, it’s not hot, you know?”
