It was painful, stepping away from him, getting back to reality and out of this nostalgia bubble. My hand slid down his arm, but before I could let it drop, Colt grabbed it. He squeezed it with a wry smile, and I wondered if he was weighing all the things I was. He moved a half step closer. His gaze moved to our hands, and he spread his fingers, inviting mine to fall into the grooves between his.
I let it happen, let Colt hold my hand. He towed me closer to him again, suppressing a massive grin. The emcee was talking but I didn’t hear a word, floating in this liminal space between what we were and what I wished we could be.
A familiar folk guitar strum and a quickly filling dance floor pulled us from our daze. We joined the circle forming around the happy couple. Colt and I exchanged a laugh as Kitty, not usually the emotional type, ugly cried to the sounds of “Take Me Home, Country Roads.” But she still missed nothing, raising her eyebrows at me when she saw who stood next to me.
It was time to start the post-wedding cleanup. The bridalparty had mostly scattered. Annie got her period and scampered away with the disaster hookup goalie trailing behind her. Mikey and Jessie had long since fucked off. We were down to two bridesmaids and two groomsmen, plus Kitty’s parents and . . . Colton.
Even though he wasn’t in the wedding, he jumped in to help out. We carried flower arrangements inside to set up for the next day’s farewell brunch.
Kitty’s mom was a drunk, emotional mess and held onto Colton for an exceedingly long time.
“You were so good to Guy in college, Colton. He needed you.”
Colton just laughed and patted her back. “He’s a good friend too, Mrs. G.”
“We just love you so much,” she cried. Colt flicked a glance at me, looking for help.
“Hey, Heather,” I cut in. “Anything else you want us to take care of before we go?”
Kitty’s mom sniffled. “No, no. You two go have fun.”
Colt turned my way with a half-hearted smile.
Fun. Alone. The two of us, and the countless words we should have said.
FIVE
VIOLET
WHITE SULPHUR SPRINGS, WEST VIRGINIA
Click-slap.Click-slap.
Colton’s dress shoes clacked on the marble floors, while my bare feet made a slapping sound on our way to the elevator. I carried my shoes in one hand, hobbling from dancing so hard.
Colton was silent, eyes downcast. I twisted my lips to chew on one corner while we waited for the elevator. My heart raced. Things had gotten awkward since the wedding ended. Other than basic reality crashing in, I wasn’t sure what caused the shift.
“Tonight was fun,” I said, breaking the silence.
“Yeah,” Colton agreed, but his voice didn’t sound like he had much fun at all. “Violet, what really happened with us?”
My lips parted, the wind knocked out of me. This was it. The confrontation I’d feared every day leading up to this wedding. Tremors broke through my body.
“What?” I whispered. Wasn’t my explanation the night before good enough? I explained as much as I could. I made sure he knew it wasn’t his fault.
“I wasn’t done, Vi,” he said, his voice breaking. His Adam’sapple bobbed. I was struck with the memory of kissing him just to the right of it, where he was ticklish. “And I don’t think you were done either. I was willing to stick it out until your parents came around. You just . . . quit.”
Our eyes locked, and the gut wrenching reality of his hurt seared through the glance.
The elevator doors opened and we broke our stare to step inside. Colton’s gaze fell to the floor between us after I pressed the buttons for our floors.
Colt sniffed in a breath and held it. “I loved you, Violet.”
Hot, fast tears blurred everything around me. I sucked in one breath, then two. My eyes raised to Colton’s. I wished I had a good reason why, other thanyou scared me, but I don’t know why. His jaw tightened as he took my hand, trembling slightly. The elevator doors opened on his floor and he stepped out, keeping our hands joined.
There before me stood the wounded boy, the one who got his sunshine taken away. I took it from him. How could I?
“You don’t have anything to say,” he said, a surprising amount of contempt in his voice.
