I turn to Bri first and she pouts as she pulls me into a hug.
“I want to stay,” I say into her shoulder.
She holds me tight, her fingertips digging into my shoulder blades. “I know you do.”
“I didn’t know,” I sob.
“It’s okay to stay,” she says, and it’s like a huge weight has been lifted.
“But what if,” I start, but the what ifs that have plagued me for the last month seem unimportant.
Bri holds me back by my upper arms. “You have time to decide. But go with your heart.”
“Will you ever come back?” I feel vulnerable asking. I want her to come back, for us to tackle the next phase of our lives together.
She shakes her head and shrugs. “I’ve got so much in Pittsburgh,” she says. “But maybe.”
I nod, swiping under my eyes. “I get it. I’m glad you’re here now. So glad you came.”
“I’ll always come,” Bri says, and our serious moment is interrupted by Becca piping in beside her with a sneaky grin.
“Yeah you will.”
* * *
The goodbye hugsstart after the final notes of Country Roads. While Bri and I chat, Jake folds up chairs and puts them against the house.
He’s adorable, exchanging pleasantries and, “Nice to meet you” with some of my family members. I love hearing them say, “See you again soon,” and he just beams, those devastating dimples catching in the swaths of light from the windows.
I tap his shoulder where he’s bent to put a table away. “Hey. You don’t have to do all this. I’ll get it in the morning.”
He shrugs. “I’m fine. Almost done anyway.” He straightens and studies me. “You have a good day?”
I nod, and the tears start to surface again. “I had the best day.”
A tear falls, and Jake doesn’t panic. His thumb lifts to swipe it away. “I’m glad.”
“Thanks for coming. Even though things between us are, well . . .” I hesitate. “I’m glad you came.”
Jake leans down to hug me. “Me too. I like seeing you happy.”
I pause. “No, but . . . you’re not just here because you feel like you have to be, right?”
We’re still hugging, but he cranes his neck so he can meet my eyes at this angle. “I’m here because I want to see you. With your people. But most of all, you. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have a hard time staying away from you.”
I swallow hard, stepping back and sliding our hands together. “Yeah but why is that?”
Jake glances at his feet between us, squeezing my hands. “I like watching you become who you’re meant to be. I like watching you be as powerful as you are, and as soft too. I know you think you’re flunking out of this summer, but you’re stronger every day. It’s beautiful.”
My lips pop open and I feel, for the millionth time in twelve hours, like I might cry. I truly don’t know what to say to that.
A hand touches my shoulder. “Just saying goodnight, sissy. Will we see you at the grill out tomorrow?” Aunt Sally cuts in with a hug.
“Oh, yep. I’ll be there!” I say.
She whispers while we’re close. “Bring a friend if you want to.” She squeezes me and winks before turning to Jake, fussing over what a nice boy he is.
I glance back at the rest of my family, my parents included. I’ve mostly avoided them, which might not be fair. I’m sure I’ll end up talking to them after people leave because they’re staying in the third bedroom of the farmhouse tonight. But I know what they’ll say, and I don’t feel like putting myself through it. They always think they know what’s best for me, and part of me resents that for once, we agree.
