I could be doing that too. Getting affection. Everything about me wants to give in. To let myself be loved. Maybe not loved, but like Bri said, adored.
I shiver and Jake’s arm goes around my shoulders. “Cold?”
“A little.”
Jake’s got a sweatshirt on, something he grabbed out of the cabin when the sun passed over and the evening’s chill set in. I already gave out every sweatshirt and blanket I could find in the house. Jake shuffles, his abs flashing as he lifts his shirt overhead. “Here.”
“You’ll be cold,” I argue.
Jake rolls his eyes. “I’ll survive. Arms up, boss.”
I do and Jake pulls his Marshall Engineering sweatshirt over my head. Before my head pops out the hole, I want to burrow down in it. Jake’s scent surrounds me and it’s pre-warmed. I can’t stop myself from hugging my own arms after I get it on and scrunching my shoulders. “So cozy.”
Jake kisses my temple and tugs me closer, and I’m sorry, but what is probation again? Do I care? I haven’t felt this warm and fuzzy in the better part of a century. It’s sweet and simple and all the things that make life worth living. My fingers are sticky with marshmallow and my mouth has that after-sweet taste.
A pretty good life.
I bite back tears while I take stock of my surroundings: my family, my friends, a guy who adores me. I rest my head on that guy’s shoulder and he kisses the top of my head.
“You’re really nice to me,” I say.
“I like you.”
I turn my face up to look at him, expecting his pester face. But he just looks content. Happy. “But I have a bad attitude.”
Jake chuckles. “I know. I like it.”
A new chord strums on my cousin’s guitar and I bolt up, knowing the song on the first note. “Come on.” I scramble to my feet, offering a hand down to Jake. “You can’t miss this.”
A “Country Roads” sing along is a staple at many West Virginia gatherings. My family operates like a bunch of lemmings headed for the cliff as we instinctively make a circle around the fire, joining arms and singing along like the Whos down in Whoville.
“This is for real?” Jake asks. “I thought this was just a rumor.”
“Nope. It’s real.”
“Every event?”
“Every one we can,” I say, then join my family as we hit the first chorus.
I don’t know that there are moments sweeter than this one in life: surrounded by the ones you love. The ones you chose and the ones who came as part of the package. The complicated relationships and the ones you keep simple. Just as I feel the hot pinch of tears, I look up to find Jake sniffling while he sings along. I’ve got Bri on one side of me and him on my other, feeling the vibration of their voices in my arms where we hold each other.
It’s wholesome, and pure, and a moment of unity that I don’t think enough people get to experience anymore.
I know these moments don’t happen every day in West Virginia. These are special occasions. And yet, a surge of adrenaline contradicts the feeling of calm that comes from the realization.
This is where I belong.
I don’t want to leave.
It’s scary. I built an entire life, and it’s just gone. I miss my friends in Raleigh. I miss the routine I had there.
But this feels so much more right.
This life has always been waiting for me.
I focus on singing because if I let myself feel all these feelings, I’ll cry until I puke.
We come to the end of the song, and I somehow survive without completely ugly crying.
