“Fine. Then I’ll see you next week for our regularly scheduled fuck.” She shoved her shirt over her head.
I pointed to the bed. “Annie, tell me what we did was just sex.” Her watery eyes met mine, her jaw quivering.
“We are more than sex, and you damn well know that.”
She stood still, waiting for me to go on. I reached for my pants, pulling the pebble out of the pocket and holding it up.
“See this? This made you bust your damn face today. But you wanted to keep riding. You didn’t let a little bump in the road stop you. You were free before you fell. It was worth a fall.”
She sniffed. “What are you saying?”
“Shit’s gonna come up. People are going to say ignorant things. We’re going to have to do things we wish we didn’t have to. But isn’t this worth it?”
Her eyes cast downward. “I just want to be normal sometimes, Nick.”
I took her hand. “Maybe there’s no such thing as normal, Annie. Don’t let a stupid little pebble get in the way of your freedom.”
“But we’re not really free,” she said softly. “We have to hide.”
“Annabelle, I’d rather hide with you every day than be without you. You were always the plan. You weren’t a pitstop on the way to somewhere else. You’re the destination.”
Her tears fell and I stepped toward her, wiping them away.
“Stay, Annie. We’ll figure something out. It’ll be worth it. It’ll take time, but we’ll figure it out. Choose me, because I’m always going to choose you.”
Annie looked incredulous, and the thought that she was having trouble believing me was heartbreaking. How could any other person not fall completely in love with her? What monster could take her for granted?
She threw her arms around my neck, pressing herself into me.
“Go get me an ice pack and some medicine,” she whispered.
“Uh, okay?”
“I’m going to need it if I’m going to ride you like I want to right now.”
I laughed into her hair. “Yes, miss.”
Chapter36
Annie
FEBRUARY | Balance: $46,291
We committed to staying hidden. We chose each other. Both of our schedules were still all over the place, but we did the best we could.
On days when we couldn’t see each other, we’d at least exchange a few texts. We signed off with XO. The way I felt about Nick was way bigger than XO, but admitting I loved him was the one line I was too scared to cross. Because if I told him I loved him and I had to give him up, I didn’t know if my heart could bear it.
Because he was the best person I’d ever had. He was worth the risk.
That first night we had sex, Nick and I stayed up most of the night going at it again and again. There was the physical nature of it, but our relationship had shifted, too. We weren’t a checklist or an experiment.
He told me I was the destination. And while I didn’t anticipate it when we started out, he was mine too.
Our life of secrecy was sweet. It sucked that we couldn’t share ourselves with our friends, but Nick made our few nights a week together worthwhile.
When we couldn’t be together and had some alone time, we’d call each other from hotel rooms and talk until we fell asleep. Nick told me about what the team was up to, and we shared what we saw in our travels. We talked childhood memories and movies and sports and books.
Sometimes I’d get home from work late and he and Greg would be waiting with a simple dinner. Nick would rub my feet on the couch and I’d use his Theragun on his shoulders. We’d fall asleep reading together. One night, I fell asleep before he was done getting ready for bed, my book falling against my face. I woke just enough to feel Nick slide off my glasses, put a bookmark in my book, and kiss my forehead before getting in bed next to me.