His words whisper through my mind.
“I hate you.”
Can I leave it at that? Both Rex and Chase had their chance to say their peace. Doesn’t Luke deserve that too? I swallow my doubts, reach out and pull the shade up.
He’s there on the other side of the screen, like so many nights before, looking up at me with a hopeful expression as if he’s praying tonight won’t be the night I deny him entry. I bite my lip trying to decide if this is something I can handle but when his eyes drop from mine and guilt fills his expression, I know the answer.
I’ve never been able to deny Luke anything. I made a vow when we were just kids that I’d always be there for him, always give him what comfort and protection that I could and nothing has changed that. I lean forward and push the screen out on its hinges and then step back so he has room to come through.
His arms flex with muscle that wasn’t there the last time he did this and I take another step back as his big body pushes through until he’s standing before me.
We don’t speak. Words were never our love language. I just turn to the bed and pull the sheet back.
He does that hot boy move where he reaches behind his head and pulls his shirt up and over and off. What I see tells me Luke doesn’t just have the hot boy move, he’s turned into a hot man. Muscles flex under golden skin and his dog tags clink as he pushes his jeans down so he’s left in just a pair of boxers and then he slides past me into the bed.
I swallow the knot in my throat seeing him in my bed after all these years and then shut the light off and crawl in next to him. We lay on our backs, our sides pressed against each other in the double bed and his hot skin burns against mine. Luke finds my hand under the sheet and threads his fingers with mine like we always used to do. The innocent action has my heart squeezing as another weight lifts from it.
His voice is low and soft in the dark.
“I didn’t need you to save me, Sunshine. I just needed you to stay.”
My sigh fills the dark room and my voice is just as soft as his when I reply.
“I couldn’t, Luke. It wasn’t just you I was trying to protect.”
His fingers tighten on mine. “I know, Rex…told me. For my part in it, I’m sorry. I wish…”
I rub my thumb against the side of his hand when he trails off.
“Me too. Go to sleep, Luke. I’m here.”
We lie together listening to the crickets through the open window and the hum of the fan. Sleep drags me down and I’m almost under when he shifts to his side and lets go of my hand to slide his across my stomach and pull me closer. His voice is a whisper that chases me into sleep.
“I lied. I could never hate you, Sunshine.”
I echo back what I said at the lake as sleep pulls me under.
“I know.”
I wake to the soft light of morning surprised that I slept the whole night through. I’m on my side and Luke’s body is pressed against my back with his arms around me and his warm breath on my neck. I lie quietly and just soak up the feeling of it like a sponge. Jason wasn’t a cuddler.
Now that I think back on my time with him, I realize that he rarely touched me at all. He wanted sex when he wanted it but he rarely touched me with affection and it pisses me off that it took me so long to see him for what he really was. I let myself just go along with the relationship because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. Like a fucking to-do list for life. Have boyfriend, check. Be happy with the little crumbs he offers, check. Get engaged, ignore that you’re drowning in emptiness, check and check!
Luke presses closer and tightens his arms around me as though even in sleep he knows the dark path my mind has taken. The move presses the hard length of him against my ass and causes my core to clench. I try and ignore it. This isn’t about that. But he’s big, hard, warm, and smells like sunshine and spice and it’s been a really long time since I’ve had an orgasm so my body disagrees. I add another thing to my checklist - ignore that future husband doesn’t take the time to make sure his future wife is pleasured, major fucking check.
My ass presses just the tiniest bit back against his hardness in search of what my body wants and Luke tenses up behind me. I know he’s awake now but I say nothing, do nothing, even as he relaxes and sweeps his thumb across my skin, venturing just under the cami I went to bed in. Slow, soft sweeps that have sparkles bursting in my stomach. His head dips down until his mouth brushes across my neck and he can’t not feel the tremble that causes. I feel those lips curve against my skin in a smile. I should roll out of bed away from him. This isn’t something I should be doing having only just left my fiancée but my traitorous body stays firmly in place against him.
His rough hand slides up further under the thin material until that thumb brushes against the underside of my breast and I suck in a jagged breath that has him pressing his firm cock a little bit harder against me. My pussy clenches again and fills with wet heat at the idea of sleepy morning sex with him. It would be so easy to stay right like this and just spread my legs a touch for him to slide right into me. It would be soft and slow. A gentle rock into my body until neither of us could take the exquisite feeling of it so he’d move a little harder, a little faster until…
I roll out of bed, gasping when I realize I’m close to coming just from his soft touches and thinking about him being inside me. My voice is strained as I keep my back to him.
“Mor-ning.”
I shoot a side-eyed look his way as I reach for a hoody to cover up the hard nipples that I can feel straining against my cami and see a soft, loving smile on his face that makes me want to dive back into bed with him and finish the fantasy I had playing in my head. Thankfully, Luke sits up and swings his legs over the side of the bed, ending that option.
He reaches up and runs both hands over his shaved head and I heat up even more watching the planes of muscle flex over his chest and arms. Black ink on the left side of his chest and side has my eyes zeroing in and another gasp escapes me at the stunning artistry and the realization of the meaning behind the large piece he’s branded his skin with. It’s a beaming sun behind a shower of raindrops. It’s me, his sunshine, Rain. His eyes study my reaction for a few beats and then he’s reaching out and tugging me in between his legs, his hands resting lightly on my hips.
“You might have left but I carried you with me, sunshine.”
