“I-I’m sorry to interrupt you! You…you just didn’t come for breakfast and I thought you might need something to eat,” I stutter out while holding the plate and glass in his direction like a shield. He frowns, drags off his glasses, and rubs at his eyes before looking back at me. His gaze slides from my face to the items in my hands and then a grin slowly forms on his lips.
“You made me lunch? Damn, Aves, you’re truly an angel sent from heaven! I’m starving!”
I let a breath of air out in a gush and some of the tension eases from my shoulders as I step into the room to hand him the meal. His eyes get big again as he takes in the thick sandwich and he groans in pleasure as he rips a huge bite from it. I start back out of the room but he holds up his free hand to stop me. I wait as he swallows the food in his mouth.
“This is fucking amazing. Thanks, Avery, seriously. I’ve been working on this code since last night and I think I’ve finally wrangled it to where it needs to be.” He rolls his shoulders to ease some of the knots that must be in them after being hunched over his keyboard and nods toward an empty chair. “I could use a break. Will you hang out with me while I eat?”
I chew on my bottom lip in indecision but his earnest expression has me nodding in agreement and I step over and sit down on the edge of the seat. He shoots me a wide grin that has both of his dimples flashing as he takes another bite of his sandwich. A long drink from his soda and a few nervous finger twists from me and he asks me something I’m not sure how to answer.
“How are you feeling? With everything, I mean?” He waves his hand vaguely around to encompass the house. “I imagine all this is a pretty big adjustment from what you…er…left?”
I drop my eyes down to my lap as a wash of shame passes through me. I’m…embarrassed that these men know a little of what I went through. I swallow it down to answer him.
“Um…good?” I peek up to see his face hoping that’s enough of an answer but he’s nodding encouragingly so I sigh and give a little more. “It…it is a big difference and you three have been very kind to us. It’s honestly pretty hard for me to believe how much has changed and I’m so incredibly grateful so, so thank you.”
He leans back into his chair with his own sigh and fidgets with some of the chips on his plate.
“Avery, you can talk to me, you know. If you’re open to it, I can be a real friend. East, Ryker, and I just want to help you. You’re safe here. You don’t need to be afraid of us. Talk to me, sweetheart?”
Even as my stomach rolls with anxiety, a surge of want, of need, to have a friend fills me up. I roll my lips in and look up at him. All I see is kindness and encouragement in his face so I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.
“Is Easton mad that I’m here?”
My hand flies up to my mouth like I can pull the words back as Zack frowns but it’s too late.
“East? Why do you think he doesn’t want you here? He’s the one that hired and brought you here.”
He doesn’t seem mad that I asked, just confused so I try and explain.
“He did and it was such a gift for Chloe and me but…but sometimes he seems so nice, like when he took me to get my hair cut and bought me a bunch of new clothes and he’s really good with Chloe but then other times he’s really cold and blunt and…and…I don’t know how to act!”
Zack sets his plate aside on his desk and reaches for my hand and I only tense up, not flinch.
“Sweetheart, I’m going to tell you something that I need you to fix firmly in your mind. YOU are not responsible for anyone else’s moods. If East is being a dick, that’s on him, not you. You aren’t responsible, you didn’t cause it and you don’t have to deal with it. Let me say that again. You don’t have to deal with his moods. You can ignore him and just walk away or better yet, tell him to piss off.”
I feel my eyes go huge in my face as my head starts shaking but Zack just tugs tighter on my hand.
“Stop, stop whatever you’re thinking Avery. We aren’thim. No one in this house is going to lash out at you, hurt you or abuse you in any way. You are allowed to have feelings here and if one of us pisses you off then you get to tell us without worrying that you’ll get hurt for speaking up.”
I see anger, frustration, and sadness cross his face but then he’s pulling me out of my chair and across into his lap and wrapping his arms around me.
“Sorry! I’m sorry, Aves, but I need to fucking hug you right now. This is what friends do. They hug each other when they want to give comfort and I’ve never met anyone who needs comfort more than you.”
His words are muffled in my hair where he’s buried his face but they strike a chord deep inside of me that’s been hollow for so long and my body just unclenches to lean into him. I soak up that hug like a starving woman and for just that moment feel almost whole again. It’s over too soon as he moves me back to my chair and I almost smile when I see the blush on his cheeks. He turns his head away from me and grabs a carrot stick to crunch on and then clears his throat.
“Alright, steps one and two of friendship have been engaged so on to the next! Time for some advice!” He spears me with his pretty hazel eyes and runs a hand through his messy blond curls. “Value! You need to learn that you have value. What you do, how you feel and your opinions all have value. They matter, Avery. You need to start believing that right down to your bones.”
He grabs both my hands again.
“You’re an amazing mother and you did a really brave thing by getting yourself and Chloe out of a horrible situation. Now you need to show her, set the example that you have value. You never deserved to be treated that way to start with and I hope one day you trust us enough to let us resolve it permanently but until then, you have to show that little girl that you are strong in all areas and that you value yourself enough to stand up and be counted. I can’t make you not be afraid, only you can do that but please, try? Try and believe you are safe here and that you matter to us.”
He stares deep into my eyes and something starts to shift inside me so I nod and whisper, “Okay.”
That amazing grin of his is back with dimples flashing.
“Good! So, that means no more worrying about our moods, no more being scared that you’re going to do something wrong and try, try Aves, to enjoy some of the good things that have come into your life because you deserve them and so much more.”
Tears prick at the back of my eyes and my throat is thick with emotion but it’s not the scared, nervous emotions I usually feel. It’s gratitude and…something else I don’t know how to name.
