I blink at him in surprise. “I thought you didn’t involve yourself in politics or intrigue?”
He chuffs a laugh. “We try not to but the bloody British have made that rather difficult. They have their noses in as many people’s business as possible with their quest to hold on to rule here. Being part of the French nobility has made a target of us. They forced our hand with their threats to pick a side.”
“Ah, you lead such an intriguing life, Your Grace.” I tease but he shakes his head.
“Not me, Luca. He’s assumed the title this time around and all the pomp and headaches it brings with it.”
My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Luca is the Duke du Gaul now?”
“The downside of immortality is that people start to notice when you don’t age or die. Luca and I have been passing that title back and forth for almost two centuries now. The wolves refuse to have any part of it so it leaves us to manage our affairs and fortune. Being a noble has paved the way to making our lives easier so far but things here are more complicated. Having a title breeds distrust from the colonists who settled this land and now that France and England are at odds…again, it’s brought trouble to our door with the redcoats. The small summary of what happens in the future you gave us has given us some insight on what will happen here so I believe the Duc de Gual will fall on the battlefield of this revolution and it will be the end of its line. Being a common citizen, wealthy, but not a noble will be our path forward after the dust settles on this fight for independence. Until then, we will work behind the scenes to support the colonists in any way we can.”
I think over everything he’s said and curse that I spent so much wasted time brushing up on French history and language when I should have been looking into this part of history. I had no way of knowing that I’d end up in this time or place but it still frustrates me that I don’t know more about this pivotal time of history in my country’s timeline. I’d kill for a Google search right now to give us the finer details of where and when the worst of the fighting will be. With a frustrated sigh, I pull my cloak tighter around me to ward off the chill from the deep shadows as we travel through thick forest on a small track only wide enough for a wagon. I love my independence but there are way too many dangers that could kill me and send me back to my own timeline in a war-ravaged country. I will have to resign myself to staying in the shadows and very close to their…our home. I sigh again, I’ll happily give up any freedom to spend the rest of my life with these men.
When we break out of the forest and into the sun, I have to blink my eyes to adjust to the brightness. When I can see again, a look of awe crosses my face. We’re on the top of a gently sloping hill covered in wildflowers that leads down to a shimmering lake. It’s breathtaking. As Bas gets our mount moving down the slope I smile at him over my shoulder.
“This is incredible! It’s so raw and unspoiled in its beauty.”
He hums his agreement. “Yes, it truly is a majestic land we’ve settled on.”
I perk up. “This is yours? You own this land?”
He laughs at the excitement in my tone. “Yes, it’s part of the lands we purchased when we first came here. The house we had built is still a bit of a ride away but yes, this is part of our land.”
I hum in pleasure as they lead our horses to the lakeshore to drink. Sebastian passes me down to Cade who twirls me around in his strong arms away from the horses and a laugh of pure happiness escapes me before he sets me down and captures my smiling lips with his. When he pulls back, the grin on his face is huge.
“Lass, I still canna believe you’re here! I’ve ached for you every moment that you were gone. I never stopped missing or loving you.”
Once again tears pick at my eyes but a derisive snort has my head turning to see Luca with a sneer on his lips.
“Yes, except for the first eighty years after you died. Those moments were filled by your wolves with copious amounts of spirits and fucking every red-headed whore they could find.”
My mouth drops open in shock at what he said but the cruel way Luca delivered it is what makes my chest feel as though someone has just plunged a knife blade into it.
I let out a harsh whisper choked in pain, “Luca.”
The sneer slips at what he sees on my face and I catch a flash of shame in his eyes as he turns away. Cade’s hands tighten on my waist and Finn moves to join us with a deep look of contrition on his face.
“Lass…” Cade begins as Finn says, “Eden…” But I hold both my hands up to stop them from speaking further.
My eyes squeeze tight for a beat and I take a deep breath to get my balance back. I want to howl from the pain and to be honest, rage that fills me at the quick and hot wash of betrayal I feel that they had been with so many other women. My men, my mates, they thought I was dead. I left them and they thought I was dead. I have no right to feel betrayed. This is a disaster but I know it’s not their fault, it’s mine. I see the trembling in my hands before lowering them to grasp both of theirs and try and steady myself.
“That…that hurt…a lot.” I swallow hard and go on. “For me, I was gone for thirty days and it was agony but I always knew I’d find a way to get back to you all. You thought I was dead and you lived with that for over a hundred years. What you did, how you coped with that…” I dash away the stupid tears that keep falling. “You don’t have to justify it to me. You don’t have to apologize for any of it. I did that to you…to you all.” I say looking to Sebastian and Luca to include them. “That’s on me. I’m just so grateful that you still want me in some small way after all the pain I caused you over those many years. I’m so fucking sorry.”
I see Luca’s hands clench into a fist as a look of anguish crosses his expression but then he turns his back to me and looks out over the lake. Sebastian’s expression hardens slightly as if he agrees but then he’s blowing out a breath and shaking his head as he walks over to join us.
“You couldn’t have known what would happen, Eden. And you didn’t…die…on purpose. The time we had with you was a gift worth all the pain of losing you.”
Finn gently wipes my tears away. “It could have been two hundred years and we’d still love you just the same. Dinnae ever apologize for the love we share, pain or no, it’s worth it.”
Cade pulls me against him. “There will nae be any more pain, aye? We will be keeping you safe so you never leave us again.” He tells me fiercely with his brogue deepening with emotion.
I nod and give them a trembling smile. They are saying all the right things but I can’t help but think they aren’t being completely honest. I pull away and walk slowly to Luca. I stand beside him without touching or looking at him and stare out at the lake.
“Do you hate me, then?” I ask in a small voice.
I see him flinch out of the corner of my eye but keep looking ahead. After a few minutes of him not responding, I drop my head.
“I understand,” I whisper and make to back away but his hand flashes out and grabs my wrist.
