“Yes, but it’s only a fraction compared to the love I will always have for you.” He tells me in a conflicted tone full of anger and pain but then he drops my arm and moves away to his horse.
I look back out at the lake and suck back the next round of tears. I can work with that. I can fix this. I will fix this. Once I get my emotions back under control, I turn away from the lake and look over the beautiful landscape in front of me. From the thick forest to the sea of wildflowers and the lake at my back. I can imagine a life here and it tugs my lips into a smile at the possible future we could have here if I can fix things between us all.
“What do you see that makes you smile, lass?” Finn asks.
I wave my hand to encompass the area and paint them a picture of hope with words.
“I see a big, beautiful rock and wood house filled with windows to look out on all of this. A glass atrium on one end for Luca to sculpt in and bedrooms with big…big beds to share. Horses grazing in this field. A dock with a rowboat jutting out into the lake. I see picnics in the wildflowers. I see a home…for our family, for us…if you all still want that.”
Finn, Cade, and Sebastian stare back at me with bemused expressions as Luca launches up into his saddle and turns his horse away from the lake. He looks down at me with a blank expression but nods and simply says, “Yes.” And then kicks his mount into motion to climb the slope.
Luca
Idon’t know how to do this. She’s dead. She died and it shattered me. It’s been twenty-seven years since Sebastian pulled me from the wreckage of her loss and in that time I forged the pain and agony into a thick shield of anger, bitterness, and ice to function. I had over a century to manage the guilt and anguish of what I had done to so many innocents during the blood lust phase and I was coping. Badly, but I was coping, and then she blew into our lives and made me feel again, love again, she made me live again only to snatch it away after a brief time. I don’t know how to do this knowing that if I let the love I’ve caged away inside of me free it will be taken away the next time she dies. It will only end in madness for me.
My fingers tighten on the reins as they itch to touch her again. She’s just as beautiful as I remembered and the tears that fell from her gem-like green eyes had me wanting to snatch her away from my brothers’ arms so that I could comfort her, reassure her that we will never stop wanting her but I can’t. What I said was true. I do hate her a little bit for making me feel this way but fuck if I don’t love her as much as the last moment I saw her too.
I keep my eyes ahead as I hear my brothers’ mounts come up behind me. I can’t deal with the contempt I know I deserve to see in their eyes. Telling Eden about the wolves coping method in such a cruel way was unforgivable. I just couldn’t help myself from lashing out at her so she would feel a little of the misery I’ve felt since her death. I know it’s not fair to her. I know it wasn’t her choice to leave us and then come back so long after but there’s a festering rage inside me that’s slipped from my control now that she’s cracked my armor by returning.
Eden Kelly will be the end of me whether I give in and love her again or not.
Eden
Finn claims me to ride with him the rest of the way to their house and he’s spent most of the ride nuzzling my neck, kissing our bond mark, and drinking in my scent. In between, he murmurs apologies for what Luca revealed. I press back against him.
“Stop, baby. I can’t imagine how hard that was for you. You don’t have to apologize to me for that. It…it was hard to hear about it that way but I do understand.”
His arms tighten around me as he sighs deeply. “We were fools, lass but I promise ta do everything I can to make it up ta you. I still canna believe you’re here. It’s like all my dreams came true the moment I saw you through the crowd. I promise with everything I am to keep you safe and with us for good this time.”
I turn my head so I can find his lips for a brief kiss. “I love you, Finn. I’ll love you forever.”
For the rest of the ride, I study the landscape, marveling at how untamed and wild it all is. In my time this would be filled with houses, roads and towns, drive-thrus, and big box stores. To see it unsoiled like this is incredible. I work extra hard not to think about Cade and Finn with woman after woman. I can’t let myself get hung up on that or let them know just how much it hurts. They thought I was dead. I keep telling myself that over and over again but a part of me still wants to scream and rage at how unfair this was to all of us. And now I’m terrified that it could happen again. There are so many dangers here that could kill me and take me back and without a way to control when or where the mirror sends me to, I might have to put aside my own wants to protect them. I can’t do this again. If I die and get sent back. I will have to stay back in my own time. I can’t put them through this again.
“Look there, lass.” He tells me pointing ahead and I can make out a structure in the distance with smoke trails lifting from the roof’s chimneys. “It’s not as grand as the Manor in France but it suits us fine.”
“I’m sure it’s lovely. All I care about is being with you all again. It could be a lean-to in the forest and I’d be happy!” I tell him with a smile.
He laughs. “Aye, well I’m glad it’s not! I want you in a big bed with room for all of us when I feast upon your naked beauty again. My body aches for yours, Eden.” His voice gets husky and thick at the last part and his arm pulls my hips snugger against him so I can feel the hard bulge of his cock. A bolt of heat pulses through me as memories of the last time we were together fill my mind.
Cade nudges his mount closer to ours and I see a look of promise in his eyes. “And that will be happening as soon as we can manage, lass. I have a powerful need ta feel your body against mine ta prove you’re really here.”
I reach across the space between our horses and squeeze his arm but he captures my hand and runs his mouth over my knuckles, sending a shiver through me.
“I’m definitely here, love, and I’m not going anywhere this time.”
I see his eyes slide away from mine and meet Finn’s but he nods quickly and smiles before nudging his horse to move ahead of us. Some of my happiness dims. They don’t believe or trust I’m here to stay and I can’t blame them for it.
Before I can dwell on that too deeply, we ride into the yard that’s been cleared in front of their house. I would say the house is roughly half the size of the manor house in France. It’s not quite a plantation house but still bigger than most homes in my own time. It has a wide porch with columns that runs along the front of it with small windows dotting the front and a set of double doors that swing open just as Finn is lowering me down to the hard-packed ground.
A woman comes out and rears back at the sight of me before a scowl fills her heavily lined and wrinkled face. The woman has to be the oldest person I’ve ever seen. She’s very short and stooped and her steel grey eyes match the color of her frizzy curls that explode around her head like she was just electrocuted. I feel stripped bare after her gaze rakes me from head to toe and just as quickly she dismisses me as she turns to Sebastian.
“What’s this then? You were meant ta bring Malcolm back, were ya not?” She barks his way.
A young stable lad with bright red hair comes running over and trips over his feet when he spots me. His face turns an alarming shade of red as he reaches for Luca’s horse’s reins and begins leading it away while glancing over his shoulder at me and almost tripping again.
“Keep the heid, boyo!” The ancient woman yells at him and then grumbles. “Like he’s never seen a bonny lass afore.”
“Flora, Malcolm didn’t show up. There were redcoats in town so they may have well scared him off.” Sebastian tells her and then gestures to me. “I’d like to present Miss Eden Kelly. She will be staying with us, indefinitely.”
