“Want more, huh?” It comes out quiet.
“Yeah. Like a future with Romy. Like not screwing it up because you’re too scared to admit you’re worthy and that if it came down to it, she would choose you every time.”
His words land in the hollow places inside me. Places I’ve kept locked for years. And for the first time in a long time, I let myself imagine it.
A life with Romy. A home. Her laughter filling the family room. Waking up next to her warm body every morning. Her hands sliding with ease into mine as we walk through the fields. Watching her hold my son—our son—knowing he has the best mom in the world.
The image nearly cracks me open.
Beau claps me on the shoulder. “You need to get your head out of your ass, brother. Because if you let her go, you’ll regret it every day of your life. And you don’t deserve that.”
The weight of his words settles somewhere in my chest, but something else stirs.
“She’ll run,” I whisper. “As soon as she sees what this life is really like. The pain it’ll bring her.”
He shakes his head at me. “It’s kind of funny that you can’t see it. She didn’t run. She wasn’t running. You pushed her out the door.”
I think about it. And I know why I pushed her.
“It’s admirable you want to protect this love that you have for her,” Beau says, “and I know that you want to shelter it so well that nobody can destroy it, but it’s suffocating her. She needs room to breathe. You need to let up and trust that she’ll be there through the worst of it. She’s stronger than you’re giving her credit for.”
“I know she’s fucking strong. It’s just… I—” What? I don’t even know anymore.
“You know you’re one helluva a guy, right? And she knows that. She understands your life. Sure, it will take some time with all the stuff that comes with you, but I’m pretty sure you’re worth it to her. She wants you, and everything else is just noise.” I don’t say anything, and he continues. “But by all means, fuck this up for yourself.”
I turn to Beau. “I need to go to her.”
He grins. “Damn right you do.” He walks toward the truck. “Let’s get you to Nebraska, brother.”
Chapter Forty-Seven
Romy
I stare at the mirror, running a tissue along the edge of my eye to get rid of the smeared mascara. I haven’t stopped crying since I arrived back home, and Zander hasn’t called. I’m trying to hold onto hope that he’ll return like my mom said, but my cheeks are flushed from crying, and the stupid knot in my stomach refuses to loosen.
A knock sounds on the bathroom door outside my office.
“Romy,” Scarlett’s voice singsongs.
“I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Okay. Hurry. I have a surprise for you.”
I don’t want to know what the surprise is. Her last surprise is part of what led me to this heartbreak. She’s probably out there with the rest of my cousins and Lottie with some sympathy heartbreak cake or something. I’m not in the mood for them to try to raise my spirits.
Another knock sounds. Lighter this time.
“Hey, Romy. Come on. Come look.” It’s Scarlett again.
I roll my eyes. “In a second.”
I look at myself one more time, then wet my face with water and dry it with a paper towel. I don’t want to be cheerful. I want to sit here and wallow over the breakup and wonder why he hasn’t even called.
Still, I can’t hide in here forever, so I open the door. The moment I do, Scarlett’s arm is entwined with mine, leading me down the hall.
“What’s going on, Scarlett?”
“You’ll see.” She seems more pleasant than she usually is in the middle of a workday.
