“I think we couldbothuse a shower.”
I laugh against his mouth and drape my arms over his shoulder. “But with how long it takes the shower to heat up, we may not have to wait until we’re finished for me to get that spanking.”
“I’m loving this new side of you, Wallflower,” he muses, kissing me. “Keep it coming.”
TWENTY-FOUR
HOLT
I fall asleep with my fingers woven through Selene’s wet hair while her head rests on my stomach. She’s lying between my legs, and for the first thirty minutes of the movie she put on, it was difficult for me to concentrate on anything but the raging hard on I had, as if I hadn’t just orgasmed multiple times in a row. First, in the hallway with Selene pressed against the wall. Second, when I’d taken Selene over to her bed and spanked her for keeping my sister’s secret from me while we waited for the shower water to heat. Then again when I took my time with her, worshipping her body for the stunning masterpiece it is.
My head is pressed against her small throw pillow, and my neck aches, but it doesn’t matter. I’m just happy to be here with Selene.
Thankfully, she still had the clothes I let her borrow the day after she’d gotten drunk for her girls’ night. I changed into my sweatpants and T-shirt while Selene slipped into an oversized sleep shirt, wearing nothing underneath.
I crack my eyes open to a vision of blue and black, the flickering lights of the movie still playing flashes across Selene’s tiny apartment. The sound is muted, the only noise coming from therickety ceiling fan above us. Turning away from the screen, I look up at the ceiling and focus on the crack stretching across it while the blades of the ceiling fan spin lazily below it. My heart aches thinking back to the tears she shed earlier in the hallway. So much of Selene’s life is kept in secret.
Her apartment. Her book. Herpain.
I don’t know when or if she’ll ever open up to me fully, but I find peace in knowing I’ve done my part. I laid it all out there for her. She knows how I feel about her now, and, honestly, it felt good to get it out. It felt good to tell her how obsessed I’ve been with her for years. She still may not know how deep that obsession runs to the point where I’ve appointed a security guard to monitor her and keep her safe, but I’m hoping if she ever finds out about that, she will understand.
After witnessing my mother’s death, watching in horror as a bullet took her from me, I’ll never stop protecting the ones I love.
Instead of the pain and fear I saw in Selene’s mossy-green eyes earlier, I try to think of the ones she laid on me on her bed or in the shower. Her flower-scented shampoo and body wash is filtering in the air. I breathe it in and close my eyes.
“Holt?” Selene’s voice is barely a whisper.
I snap my head up but keep my fingers threaded inside her damp hair. “I’m awake.”
There’s ten seconds of silence before she says, “I watched my father kill my mother before turning the gun on himself.”
My breath catches in my throat, and I freeze. The blood drains to my toes. It’s a prickling stinging sensation—one I don’t feel until the dizziness hits.
I clear my throat, working her words over in my brain.
She inhales a deep breath then turns onto her stomach between my legs. The blue and white lights from the TV screen flash across her face, capturing the light in her eyes.Those sad, green eyes I love. She folds her hands over my stomach and rests her chin on them, looking up at me.
“I, um. I…” I run my finger across her temple. “Fuck, I hate when people would say this to me about my mother, but I don’t know what else to say other than I’m so sorry, Wallflower.”
Fresh tears line her gorgeous eyes and, fuck, seeing them again makes me unravel. I hate seeing her in pain.
A single tear slips from the corner when she blinks. “I came home from school and heard them arguing upstairs. I shouldn’t have gone up there, but they never argued.” She looks past me, her eyes distancing with the memory. “At least not that London and I were aware of.”
She pauses, and I allow the silence to settle. I don’t need to speak, only listen. I want nothing more than to soothe Selene’s wounds, but I know it isn’t possible. She’s known for staying in the shadows, out of the spotlight. Now, she’s opening the door and inviting me into a space no one else has ever been invited. I allow her to continue, all the while, keeping my fingers to the side of her face, hoping she’ll use my touch as an anchor to pull her through.
“My parents were childhood friends turned lovers. They grew up next door to each other. My grandfather—my mom’s father—was an alcoholic, and so were both my grandparents on my father’s side. My mom’s mother was the only anchor in my parents’ lives, and she always attributed that to keeping them together when the others lost themselves in their addictions. Both my father’s parents died in a drunk driving accident, and my mom’s father died of alcohol poisoning.” She inhales a shaky, unstable breath before finally shifting her tear-soaked gaze to me. “My parents were each other’s first for everything. My father worshipped the ground my mother walked on. My childhood was full of love and warmth. I never second guessed if they would ever be there for my school play or dance recital. Theystruggled to have another child after me and were so excited when they were able to adopt London. She was the same age as me, and as luck would have it, we had similar personalities. Our family felt complete.”
Her voice finally breaks, and her eyes widen as a small hiccup breaks free. She’s clearly replaying the memory over in her mind, shattering when she squeezes her eyes shut.
I inhale a deep breath, fighting back my own tears. I need to stay strong for Selene.
She buries her face against my stomach, resting her forehead on her folded hands. I press my hand on the back of her head, smoothing her hair. Her shoulders wrack with sobs, then she looks up.
“I can’t…” Her words break as she tries to continue. “I can’t even tell you what they were arguing about that day. I heard their shouts after I’d come home, so I raced up the stairs and barged into their bedroom. He had the gun pointed straight at her, directly between her eyes. He didn’t flinch, not even when I entered the room, but my mother did. Her attention shifted to me, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look in her eyes. They were bloodshot and broken, and mascara stained her cheeks in black streaks. She was shaking as she looked back at him. Her last words before he pulled the trigger were, ‘You were the love of my life, Sean. You still are. Even now, I promise.’Then she was gone.” She weeps, her voice lifting with every word. “Her limp body barely made it to the floor before he’d turned the gun on himself. But not before he said…”
She squeezes her eyes shut again, and I realize a tear has slipped from the corner of my eye, too. I feel its warmth slide down the side of my face as I press my fingers gently against Selene’s cheekbone.
“He said”—she swallows, her mouth turning down in a frown—“and you, mine.”
