“Selene.” Her name falls from my mouth like a plea, and my heart shatters when she opens her eyes and stares into mine.
She’s shaking as her sobs grow, and her body rattles with every cry of pain. I lift her gently and scoot backward until my spine is resting against the throw pillow. Then I’m pulling her to me. She curls up between my legs, tucking hers to her chest. She wraps both her arms around them as I wrap my arms around her.
“Oh, Wallflower.” I sigh, cradling her gorgeous face in my hands.
I want to kiss away her pain, but I know I can’t. Nothing could take this from her. It’s a pain I know will stay with her the rest of her life. Same as mine.
“They were supposed to love each other, Holt.” Her swollen, red-lined eyes frantically dance across my face. “Their type of love was written in the moon and stars. That’s what my mother said to me my whole life. Then he murdered her before killing himself. And the worst part is, I’ll never truly know why.”
My brows pull tightly together. I swear, it feels like I’m being ripped apart seeing her in this much pain. I think about witnessing my own mother’s death. Selene has been through the same, but it wasn’t a stranger that took her. It was her own father. The one person who was supposed to love and protect them.
“Love...” She sobs, her eyes hardening. “Love isn’t real. There’s no such thing as true, unconditional love. It’s all a lie. He took her and then he took himself from us. He didn’t even care what he destroyed, the ruin he left behind. I was right there, and he didn’t even care.”
“Selene, it wasn’t right what he did. I wish you hadn’t had to go through that.” I move my hand over her cheek, willing her pain to evaporate as if it ever could.
“It’s why I’ve never truly opened myself up to others. After their deaths, I only stayed close to my sister and my grandmother. I kept everyone else at a distance—one that was safe and reliable. My grandmother raised us for a year before London and I went off to college. Witnessing what happened that day changed me. It’s why I swore off dating. Adam was the first relationship I’d had in years, and when he pulled the shit he did, I realized why I hadn’t. I didn’t care enough about him, but then he proposed in an odd sort of way, and I just couldn’t. I guess you could also say that’s why I wrote a romance novel. I wrote a world in which love isn’t capable of betrayal. I tried to rewrite the story, change the ending, but the ending can’t change.”
It all makes sense now, the way she’s resisted me, the hesitation and the need to keep me at a distance. But I see her love for me in her eyes. She hasn’t expressed it yet, but I know it’s there.
“Selene.” I swipe my thumb across one of her tears again. “You may never know why your father did what he did, but lovecanexist. It does.”
Her eyes turn down as she leans into my touch. “I know it does. Because I’m in love with you, Holt Capuleti, and that scares the ever-living shit out of me. I can’t stop it. I’ve tried.”
“Fuck, Selene.” I scoot impossibly closer to her and grab her face with both hands again. I pull her close, vibrating with excitement. “I’m in love with you, too. I’ve loved you for years. I’ve loved you in the shadows, I’ve loved you in the spotlight, I’ve…” I struggle to breathe. “I’ve loved you for so long.”
She sobs, and I swear her mouth lifts into a relieved smile ,but then it’s gone as she inhales a shaky breath. “The thing is, he said he loved her, too.”
“Listen to me, Wallflower.” I brush my nose against hers. “I won’t lie and say loving someone comes without risk. You will never know whether someone will eventually change theirmind. But what you feel inside, that fire and spark you can’t deny, that’s what makes love worth the risk. You give me that fire. I will do whatever I can to tell you every day that you are loved, because if you’re left broken, there will be nothing left for me. You deserve to love and be loved.”
She grabs onto my arms, wringing her fingers over the corded muscles of my forearms, using me as an anchor. Her tear-filled, green eyes stare into mine. “Promise you won’t break me, Holt Capuleti.”
I blow out a breath and pull her close before kissing her deeply, only pulling away only long enough to say, “You’re it for me, Wallflower. You have been ever since we met.” Her mouth brushes against mine when I whisper, “I promise.”
TWENTY-FIVE
SELENE
I watched my best friend Charleigh fall in love. Then London, and I saw how that love pulled her back to West.
Despite seeing those closest to me find happiness, though, I never believed it for myself.
Until Holt. I guess that makes me, like the rest of them, a fool, too.
I read over my text chain in the girls’ chat, scrolling through their messages of encouragement for the day.
Charleigh: Good Luck! You’ve got this.
London: I have no doubt. You’re going to kill it!
Julianna: I can’t wait to watch this later. We love you both so much!
I grin, re-reading Julianna’s message again. Her support means the world. Over the past six weeks, Holt and I have existed happily in our bubble together. We may have kept our confessions of love to ourselves, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t taken the time to hang out with our friends together. Ijust haven’t brought up the fact that we’re no longer playing pretend. Our relationship is raw, real, and full of love.
“I can’t believe I agreed to do this,” I mutter, smoothing my hands over my blue and cream plaid mini skirt while sitting on the large, leather sofa in Holt’s office. I’ve paired the skirt with a simple, navy-blue knit turtleneck and chunky ankle boots. While I never took much stock in picking out my own outfits before now, Holt has pushed me to embrace my own style. At first, after we confessed our love for one another, I handed his black charge card back to him. I didn’t want to keep using his money for things that weren’t important. But I don’t think I’ll ever forget the offensive expression he wore when the cold metal hit the palm of his hand. He’d barely held onto it for longer than a minute before stuffing it back into my purse, telling me to use it whenever I felt I needed to.
Since then, I’ve only used it once: to buy this outfit.
I felt guilty for using his money. I’ve fought against the tiny nagging sensation in the back of my head, reminding me of what Adam accused me of when we broke up. But this is different than when Julianna would lend me her clothes. These are mine. I picked them out, and I own them, knowing I don’t need to give them back.
