I cried for my mom being taken too soon. I cried for my dad losing himself. I cried for our family being destroyed. I cried for the life I never got to have. And I cried for that young boy who had done things the only way he knew how to cope with losing his mom.
I wasn’t sure how long I cried, but Isla kept holding me, gently rubbing my back, letting me know she was there.
I cleared my throat. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to fall apart on you.”
She tilted her head back to look at me. “You don’t need to apologize. That’s what friends are for. Celebrating your successes with you, holding you when you break, and everything in between.”
Bringing my hand up, I brushed her hair back from her face. She was so beautiful, inside and out. She was this beautiful, amazing person, and I didn’t know what I had done to deserve her in my life, but I didn’t want to lose her.
“Thank you,” I said softly. “Thanks for holding me when I broke.”
She gave me a small smile. “Any time.”
My eyes roamed over her face, trying to see her features, but I couldn’t see in the shadows. I should let go of her so both of us could go to sleep. I shouldn’t kiss her. It wasn’t a smart idea. But knowing that didn’t give me any strength. I couldn’t stop. I kept closing in, our mouths getting closer and closer. She was reeling me in, and there was no turning back now, no way to get off the hook on which she’d unknowingly captured me.
The briefest touch of our lips sent a ripple of desire through me, but I kept it slow, finally pressing my lips against hers.
We’d kissed before, but it had been under the pretense of acting, pretending, faking, but this—this was real. No onlookers, no audience, just us. There was no reason for us to be kissing right now except for the fact that we wanted to.
I moved against her lips, gently coaxing them open. She matched my pace, her hands running up my abs and moving across my chest. I wrapped my hands around her waist, sliding her up so our faces were aligned, deepening the kiss. I didn’t want to get lost in the motions, trying to run away from my past. I wanted to get lost in Isla, taking each second and committing it to memory.
I took my time, enjoying the feel of her in my arms, her lips connecting with mine, having her in my bed. The first and only girl to ever be in it.
I gently pushed her onto her back, keeping our mouths connected as I aligned my body on top of hers. I moved away from her mouth, kissing down her neck, her breath letting me know how much she was enjoying it.
Pulling back, I rested on one of my elbows so I wouldn’t crush her and took a mental picture of her, knowing that this moment with her in my bed, underneath me, looking at me with eyes full of desire, was an image I’d recall often. Seeing her like this heightened my arousal, and I couldn’t hold back any longer. Crashing my lips against hers, I turned up the intensity. I wanted more, needed more. She kissed me just as fervently, light moans coming from her as our tongues danced. She wrapped one of her legs around me, pulling me closer to her, making any control I had left slip away. One of my hands gripped her hip, moving slowly up her waist, my hand sliding underneath the hem of her tank top. Her skin was soft and warm, and when my fingertips brushed the underside of her breast, I finally came to my senses.
What was I doing? We were seconds away from changing everything between us.
Breaking the kiss, I pulled my hand away, rolling off her and onto my back. I let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Her breath was uneven as she adjusted her tank top. “We just got caught up in the moment, with all of the emotions and…everything.”
I wanted to disagree, to say no that’s not what had happened. At least not for me. That I’d kissed her because she meant something to me, that it had meant more to me than some lustful kiss.
But instead, I said, “Yeah.”
“Thank you for sharing your past with me,” she said gently. “I’m here if you ever need to talk.”
I stared into the darkness. “I know. Thank you.”
“Good night, Slate.” She moved back to her side of the bed, turning her back to me.
I fought the urge to pull her against me or to cuddle up behind her. It would only make things more confusing between us.
“Good night, Isla.”
12
Isla
Zipping up my bag, I placed it on the floor next to my bedroom door. I was packed and ready to head back to Waterford in the morning. I’d spent the last few days at home enjoying the Thanksgiving break with my family, but I was looking forward to getting back to school.
Okay, so maybe it had more to do with seeing my friends than school.
Okay, okay, fine, it was really a certain friend. A friend I wasn’t thinking of as just a friend anymore.
If I was being honest with myself, had I ever thought of him as just a friend? I thought I had, but looking back now, I’d probably been crushing on him since the day I met him.
