“Fuck. This is insane.” His breath had become ragged and unsteady.
His words made my pussy clench. He thought he was being honorable? Protecting me? From what? I was in his head now, at least in his emotions. He had not lied to me, I sensed no love, just loneliness and resignation. He had made his choices, as I made mine.
I wasn’t afraid. The opposite, in fact. He was perfect. It wouldn’t matter to him that I was broken inside, that I was anxious all the time. Because with him as my mate, I wouldn’t be. Not anymore. With him, I could let my body relax and just be—satisfied.
I wanted to climb him, strip him, ride him until we both passed out. I rubbed at my swollen nipples with both hands, imagined the touch came from him. Imagined what it would feel like to be stuffed full of his cock, sliding up and down his hard length—
“Gods, female, you have lost your fucking mind.” His shock was real. I felt it through our connection, the communication between our mating collars was strong. Really damn strong. “If you don’t stop that, I’m going to lose control.”
“Turn around, Zarren.”
“No.”
“But I’m wearing your gift.”
A stab of curiosity and…surprise? He shoved both emotions down at once.
If he didn’t accept me, he would not allow another match to happen, he would take no bride. I was sure of it. Just as sure that he meant what he said. He didn’t want to care so much about one person that he would sacrifice countless others on their behalf.
The choice was honorable. Admirable. And so damn lonely my heart ached for him. Without me, he would bury his soul in duty, seek no comfort. Might as well get that doctor in here and ask him to cut Zarren’s heart from his chest. It would be a blessing for him, not to carry so much pain, such unbearable guilt.
“You must keep your word. I would turn you away, rather than fail to provide what you need to be happy. I cannot live with another failure. I would never forgive myself if I broke your heart.”
“I promise you, I will never ask you to love me. Never expect you to change. But I won’t change either. I will admire and respect you, as I already do. I will feel desire and enjoy sex, but that is all.” I couldn’t fall in love, my heart was too fragmented to accomplish such a feat. “I promise.”
I meant every word. No use lying to one another when the collars would give us away. Better to understand one another from the beginning.
I would think of this as an adventure. I would play the part of a royal princess married to a stranger, a powerful king with a massive army at his command. An arrangement between two kingdoms rather than a love match. I was like Juliet, except the dream of a perfect Romeo was already dead, and I already had the dagger through my heart.
A pit of emptiness welled up inside me. Not just his, mine. Years of captivity. Months of wandering aimlessly through the sanctuary on Prillon Prime, avoiding contact with another living soul. Other than an occasional hug from Makayla, I’d gone months without physical touch.
Maybe he wouldn’t love me, but he could touch me, make me feel like a real woman rather than a puppet made of wood.
Let me out. Stop pretending.
No.
I shoved the memories, the darkness, aside—as I always did—and focused my complete attention on now. Right now. Zarren’s strong body so close I could feel his heat, our shared attraction, longing for touch, for connection. The need came from a deep, dark well I had learned to ignore. Except, he had one, too.
Unable to resist for another moment, I lifted my hand and placed my palm flat on his back. “I promise. Please don’t send me away. I need this.”
My vow was like lightning in his body. Anticipation warred with need as he pulled his shirt off over his head. He turned around, his green eyes inspecting every detail of my sheer nightie—it wasn’t long, the hem at mid-thigh—before inspecting my legs and lower, down to my bright silver toenails. On the way back up, his attention lingered on the vee between my legs, on the firm nipples beckoning him through the shimmering fabric. He reached out with one hand and lifted a strand of my hair, watched it fall like liquid gold through his fingers.
“I made this for you. Well, I didn’t know you were going to be you, but I made it for my first night with my—”
His lips pressed to mine before I could finish the sentence.My mate. My first night with my mate.
One taste and we both lost our minds—or mind? I couldn’t distinguish his need from mine. His lust. His desire. I wanted his hands everywhere, as he wanted mine. I fumbled at his clothing until he took over, uncaring where anything ended up. The moment he was naked, I reached for his huge cock, wrapped two hands around its girth and stroked him the way his body told me he liked it. Firm. Fast.
We both moaned as I cupped his balls and pulled his nipple into my mouth. Jolts of pleasure shot from every place our bodies touched, straight to my throbbing cock. Shit—hiscock. His senses were drifting, combining with mine.
God, these collars were going to turn me into a sex-crazed maniac.
I whimpered and rubbed my breasts against him. They were heavy. Achy and super sensitive. My pussy was hot, wet and starving for attention. Fuck that, for a big cock to stretch me open and make me come, make me shudder as my inner muscles fluttered and squeezed him, pulled him deeper, milked him dry. I wanted to lock my legs over his hips and hang on for dear life as he pressed my back to the wall and fucked me. Hard. Fast.
I wanted him buried balls deep, my hot, tight pussy like an inferno burning my sensitive skin—wait, that was his skin…
Was that what it felt like to slide his cock inside a woman’s body?
