First, I needed to get inside his head. Literally. Where the hell were our mating collars?
“Wait here.” I didn’t linger to see if he would obey me or not, simply walked into his pathetic excuse for a bedroom and closed the door behind me. I dragged my trunk away from the wall—as promised, it had been waiting when we arrived—just far enough that I could open it. I sank to my knees so I could lift the nearly translucent lingerie from where it lay, carefully folded, on top of the rest of my personal items.
I changed quickly, tugging a bit too hard at the seams of the dress I’d spent hours creating. Zarren didn’t seem to like it much. Didn’t matter. Moving on. The very first thing every matched warrior, fighter, or beast I’d ever heard of did, once their matched mate arrived, was get naked and get busy. I’d been excited about that part. Really excited.
I’d been shy, when I was younger. Unsure of myself. Scared of feeling shame, instead of pleasure. No more. I’d been naked in a holding cell for months on end. Thank god Nexus 5 never assaulted us while we were awake. He wasn’t interested in sex, just science. But walking around in my birthday suit for so long made me very comfortable with my body. In my time recovering on Prillon Prime, I’d learned what I liked and didn’t, how to pleasure myself.
When I thought about the Willow who used to live on Earth, I didn’t even recognize her. She was like a ghost or a hazy childhood memory.
I slipped the whisper-thin, spaghetti strap, lingerie over my naked flesh and tossed the matching panties back in the trunk. I was going to be fighting an uphill battle here. Didn’t need a barrier of any kind between us. And thanks to space-tech and their miracle doctors, I didn’t have to worry about birth control, STDs, or even the usual bathroom necessities. As long as I was within range of Coalition transport systems, all my body’s natural waste vanished from my insides like magic.
Why would any sane human ever want to go back to Earth?
Feet bare, I strolled over to the S-Gen machine in Zarren’s bedroom like I owned the place, which, technically, as the lady of the ship, I did, and put in my order.
“Prillon mating collars, new, set of three.” One for me. One for my commander. One for the second I would undoubtedly meet later.
I held my breath as three innocent looking black strips, a bit thicker than ribbon, appeared before my eyes. With a grin, I took one and wrapped it around my neck. As expected, the ribbon adjusted its length to the perfect fit before sinking against my skin and locking itself in place.
Now, all I had to do was get one on my mate and I’d know what the hell was going on in his head. Or at least what he was feeling. As far as I had heard or studied, there was only one mated trio who could actually read one another’s minds—thoughts and all—and they started out on The Colony, their unique psychic link due to the Hive doing some kind of experiments on them.
I only knew about them because one of them was our guardian angel at the sanctuary, my friend Danika. If she could survive what she did to keep her mates, I could deal with this. Right?
I shuddered and pushed Danika, the Hive and the sanctuary out of my head. No more Hive experiments for me, thank you very much. But feeling what Zarren was feeling? Sharing his emotions? I needed that if I was going to keep him. Desperately.
Suddenly unsure, I tucked the third mating collar away inside my trunk before heading for the living room. I didn’t know if Zarren would be there when I opened the bedroom door. Didn’t have any idea whether he would have stuck around or left me here alone—probably so he could go to his comm station and send some kind of complaint or inquiry as to the Brides’ Program’s return policy.
Leaning my forehead against the cool door, I counted backward from ten. Slowly. I hid the mating collar, curling it up in the palm of one hand so I could wrap my fingers around it in a tight fist. The collar would bind us together, make our needs and emotions one.
I simply refused to believe Zarren was as cold-hearted and intractable as he seemed. If he were like that on the inside, the matching program would have sent him a robot, not a woman.Not me.
Maybe you’re more screwed up than you thought? Maybe the program didn’t work.
No. I refused to believe that.
Before I could lose my nerve, I opened the door and took two steps into the barren living area. To my relief, Zarren was seated at the table, head bent over his task as he organized his super-secret, not-for-me papers.
Fuck me, he was gorgeous. My nipples tightened into hard pebbles, the soft slide of my nightgown a sensual caress. I wanted his mouth on them, sucking me deep. Or his hands. Hell, I wanted both, everywhere.
My core pulsed, the nearly constant state of arousal I’d been in since the processing simulation roared back to life.
He didn’t look at me as I stepped closer, but his nostrils flared. Could he smell my need for him? His hands curled into fists on top of the table. When he spoke, his words were nearly a growl. The tortured sound encouraged me to move even closer.
“What do you think you are doing, female?”
“Claiming my mate.”
“I told you, there has been a mistake. You are beautiful, Willow. A beautiful, perfect female. But I did not request a match. This is not right. You cannot be mine. I’m sorry.” His voice was soft, a whispered apology I didn’t want.
His body remained rigid, his knuckles turning white under his dark skin as I moved to stand directly behind him. Leaning over his shoulder, I placed a soft kiss on the side of his neck, pulled the scent of him into my lungs. His essence didn’t stop there. No, it jumped into my bloodstream and made a beeline for my pussy. My knees went weak and I barely held back a very needy moan. “Are you sure you don’t want me?”
God help me, I wanted him. Even my inner voice remained quiet, waiting.
“I didn’t say—you are lovely. I can’t—” He did growl this time, dropping his chin to his chest. “I am trying to protect you. There is no place in my life for a female. I will hurt you, Willow. I will break your heart—“
“Perhaps.” So, hedidwant me, at least physically. Trying to protect me? From what? Himself? No. I’ve survived living hell. He was my shield against monsters in the real world, not the evil that haunted my nightmares.
“Willow, I won’t love you. Do you understand? I can fuck you and provide for you, but I won’t love you. I will never love you the way you deserve to be loved.”
