Chapter One
Katya
My room is my comfort place. It’s like a nice warm hug after a cold day. From the soft calming pink color to the stuffed animals on my bed, it’s a space that looks more for a child than a grown woman. And I am a grown woman now.
At twenty-one, I’ve lived almost my whole life in this room. It’s a place I don’t like to leave.
I turn on my record player and sit in the chair beside it – it’s a large room that my older brother, Dimitri Ivanov, designed for me – and close my eyes, letting the music wash over me, comforting me. I had a rough day today.
My sister-in-law, Sofiya, wanted me to come outside with her to garden but I just couldn’t. I’ve done it once before with hersince she and my brother got married but it ended up being too much for me and I ran back into my room where I know it’s safe.
I haven’t left my room in over a week since I first went outside in over twelve years. I ended up having a panic attack. Dimitri had to help me back inside my room and I’ve stayed in here ever since.
Sofiya has come to talk to me every day after that, urging me to leave my room, but I’ve been shutting her out. My room is a place I know. It’s all I’ve ever known.
I don’t want to leave it.
An image flashes in my mind. Blood. Blood everywhere. The sight of a woman’s legs covered in red. The disgusting smell of the copper.
A knife inside my mother’s stomach… from where my father stabbed her with it. I was just eight years old at the time. Mom and I were in my room, playing with my dolls together. She had the kindest smile.
Until my father burst into the room and her smile disappeared and was replaced with horrifying screams as he stabbed her… over and over and over again. And all I could do was sit there and watch it happen. I remember screaming but my father wasn’t listening. He was intent on killing her.
When he was finished, he set his eyes onto me and they had narrowed. I remember him taking one step towards me until Dimitri, who was eighteen at the time, burst into the room, and pulled him away from me.
After that, my father ended up dying of a ‘heart attack’ but both me and Dimitri know the truth. He died because my brother killed him.
I fell into a bad state after that. I couldn’t handle being inside any large space. I needed something to hold me. Comfort me. I struggled for a few years until Dimitri ended up buying this house and he made me this room.
My hidden room.
The only way to access it is through a bookshelf in the master bedroom. I’m not a prisoner in here. I can leave whenever I want to but I never want to. Life is all too much. Too dangerous. Too terrifying. I never want to relive any horrible moment again like I did when I was a child.
So, that’s why I like it in here, where I can listen to music and be calmed down. Where I can be safe in the comforts of my hidden room. Where no one can get to me ever again.
My father had hated having me. I was a surprise baby, ten years younger than my older brother. He made sure to let me know how much he hated me. So I never understood why he killed my mother over it. Maybe because she fought hard to keep me. I’m not sure. I just know that he killed her and he would have killed me if it weren’t for Dimitri.
A knock on my door makes me jump. “Yes?”
“It’s Dimitri.” My brother’s warm voice brings me comfort, almost as much as my room does. But only almost. Nothing can keep me safe like my hidden room can.
“Come in,” I say, turning my music down.
Dimitri enters the room, looking large in the space. He’s always been a large man. Tall and muscular. Handsome, I guess, if he weren’t my brother that is. We look a lot alike. Dark hair, blue eyes, intense features that make people notice you. Or at least, I assume so. No one has ever noticed me before since I’m always in my room. But I know people notice Dimitri. I have access to the internet in my room and I’ve read things about him online. How people think he’s handsome and a force to be reckoned with.
As a Bratva member, he’s fairly famous in the world of crime. I’m always worried about the day the police will come for him but that day hasn’t happened yet. Dimitri tends to keep his hands clean and have others do his dirty work for him. That’sfine by me. I don’t care about the dark things my brother has to do. As long as he keeps me safe and I get to stay in my room.
“Katya,” he says, sitting down on the other chair next to mine. It’s where we usually talk whenever he comes to visit me. It’s most days but some days he’ll send our housekeeper, Ann, in his place. I don’t like Ann as much. She’s too cold and efficient whereas Dimitri will take the time to talk to me.
Sofiya does too but she has a bad habit of always trying to get me to leave my room when I don’t want to whereas Dimitri lets me stay in here.
“Yes?”
“How are you doing?” he asks.
“You want to know about my panic attack the other day.”
“How did you know?”
