“If he isn’t, that’s a Ryatt problem. This right here, between us is my fault. My problem. I know I’ve made mistakes. I get why you’re concerned. I care about her. What do you need from me? Do you want me at the track? Do you want Sunday dinners?” I’d hate it, but I’d do it for her.
“I want you to step back. Maybe she just needs some time.”
I braced my sweat-dampened palms on my knees. “I don’t want to disrespect you, but that isn’t going to happen. I won’t leave her to please you.” I was done hurting her.
For a moment, we stared at each other. “I’m worried,” he said. “You’re pulling both of them into your club.”
I didn’t have an argument for that. I wasn’t going to tell him shit didn’t go down at the MC, because it did. But Hellers were family, the only family that didn’t cause my blood to run cold.
“I can promise you, when she’s with me, she’s safe.”
The door swung open, and McKelle came into the garage. “What’s going on?”
Lane stood. “I’m going to go help your mom with Dollop.”
“We need to talk,” I said once we were alone.
“Okay.” She pointed to the stairs.
In the loft, I sat next to her on the couch. My nerves were frayed. A cyclone of thoughts swirled in my mind. “Fuck.” I didn’t know where to start. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she didn’t need me the way I needed her. What if she wanted him more than she needed me?
Maybe she did want Ryatt, and she didn’t know how to shut me out.
“Come closer,” I said to her. I had to touch some part of her while we talked, to be connected.
She scooted closer. I took her small hand in mine and weaved our fingers together. “This week has gutted me. I’m sorry that I made you feel like you weren’t the most important person in my life. I don’t know what to say to make sense of what’s been going through my mind. Even at our worst, you’re the best part of me.”
She bowed her head. “I have a lot on my mind, too.”
“We both need to start being honest with each other.” I rubbed my thumb over the soft freckled skin on the back of her hand. “Truth for a truth. Call me out on my shit, McKelle. And don’t hide your feelings from me. We have to talk about Ryatt.”
“I don’t know what to do.” She lifted her face. Tears clung to her lashes. “I slept with him last night.”
A slow smile twitched my lips, and I arched a brow. “I know. I was here.”
“Did you hear?”
I tilted my head. “I did, but I know you. I know you weren’t trying to get back at me. I take the blame on this if you even call it blame. I’m not pissed that you fucked him. I hate that your heart isn’t just mine because I knowyou wouldn’t have slept with him if you didn’t care about him.”
“I’m not sure what I feel, but I miss him when I’m not with him.”
“If he’s what makes you happy, I’ll walk.” I hooked her chin and forced her to look in my eyes. “I fucked up. I did this to us. You have nothing to feel guilty about if he’s who you want.”
She crawled into my lap and wrapped herself around me. With her face buried in my neck, her tears seeped into my skin. Her body trembled.
My heart sank into my gut. I didn’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t this. I didn’t expect her to choose Ryatt. A desperate ache clawed its way out of my chest, sending a chilling terror through me that I’d lost her. “Is this you letting me go?”
She shook her head and held me tighter. “I can’t,” she said on a hiccupped sob. “I can’t. I don’t want you to let me go, either. I need you.”
“Micki, you have me. But he’s waiting for you to make a choice.”
Sitting back, she wiped her eyes. “I don’t know what to do.”
“You can’t wait for one of us to fuck up to choose. Someone is going to get hurt. You’re going to hurt.”
“Are you going to fuck up?” she asked me.
“Probably. Definitely. We love hard because easy doesn’t work for us. That’s what makes us so good together.”
