She could’ve tossed them in the trash, but she saved and cataloged every one. The realization strikes hard—I don’t know whether to laugh or break apart. I thumb through each note, every stupid little drawing that somehow meant something to her.
There’s a tap at the doorway.
“How you doing, son?” Rusty asks, his voice low and gentle.
I shrug setting the notes down. “Honestly, I don’t know.”
Rusty takes a sip from the mug in his hand. “I think you do know. I think what you really have to ask yourself is … can you move to New York?”
what it’s like to run away
ROXANNE
Welp,that was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Thankfully, Leo held me the entire time we drove away from Firebird Ranch at two in the morning, or I never would’ve been able to leave. Part of me had imagined what life might look like if I would’ve slipped into Duke’s rhythm, woke up in his bed every morning, made his house my home. It could’ve worked. Duke Faraday is definitely the kind of man worth building a life around.
But I wasn’t sent to Firebird to build around his life, I was sent there to reclaim mine. A life that doesn’t desire to live in the quiet of the mountains. My life is the chaos of airports, deadlines, stories waiting to be chased. I didn’t fight like hell to come back from that accident just to disappear into a place that still feels like a scar itself.
The other issue is that every time I saw Duke help another vet find the light at the end of the tunnel, I knew I couldn’t ask him to leave that all behind for me. When he gave the speech at the barn dance dinner, I glanced around the table and everyone sitting there was looking at him with such admiration. They were hanging on his every word.
As much as I miss Duke like I’m missing a part of my own body, the relief that washes over me when I unlock the door to my apartment is something I can’t quite quantify. My home, my things, and not the view of the mountains or trees.
At least, that’s how I felt at first.
As the day of the pitch grows closer, I’m not sure I made the right choice anymore. I keep telling myself I came back to finish what I started, to fight for Firebird. But the truth is, every reason I gave myself for leaving sounds hollower the longer I’m away from him.
The one thing I am sure of is that I do feel stronger even with my scar on full display as I walk through World Explorer HQ toward Priti’s office on my first day back. Many of my colleagues stop me to welcome me back and ask about how I got my scar, others only stare as I walk by. None of it fazes me, though, as I sit in the chair across from her and wait for her to get off the phone.
When she hangs up, I stand because she rounds the desk and gives me a hug.
“Oh, I missed you!” When she pulls away her eyes fall to my shoulder. “It’s good to see you’re not hiding this anymore. Frankly, I think it’s hauntingly beautiful, you know.” She gasps and her eyes widen. “We should do a piece on you …”
“Uh, that’s okay,” I say as we both take our seats.
“You look …” Priti pauses, folding her hands on her lap. “Confident. Stronger.”
“I feel different,” I admit, and it’s true. Even with my heart breaking, even with the uncertainty about my pitch tomorrow, I feel more like myself than I have since the accident.
“The summer was good for you.”
“It was.” My voice catches. “It changed everything.”
Priti leans forward. “Are you ready for tomorrow?”
“I think so,” I say, but it comes out uncertain.
“Roxanne.” Priti’s voice is soft and gentle. “What happened out there … in Colorado?”
Before I can answer, my phone buzzes. Another text from Duke that I can’t bring myself to read.
“I fell in love,” I whisper.
Priti arches her eyebrows. “Rox, that is … that is so great! Is he coming as your ambassador?”
No. No, he’s not because I messed things up again by leaving him in the dead of night with only a pathetic letter declaring my love left behind.
“He might,” I scrape out.
“Ah, yay!” She claps her hands and stands. “We’ll see you at the Lincoln Center tomorrow night.”
