“It sounds perfect.”
When the band shifts into something slower, I pull her close and we sway together under the fairy lights. Journey’s “Faithfully” starts playing, and now I’m a goner. This is one of my favorite Journey songs, and the lead singer of this band is killing it. The rest of the world seems to fall away, and it’s like we are the only two out here. This is probably as good a time as any to make my own pitch about her coming back to Colorado.
“I’ve been thinking,” I murmur against her ear.
“About what?”
“About us. About making this work.” I pull back to look at her. “You could make your pitch in New York, and then … come back. We could figure out the logistics, maybe spend part of the year in both places?”
Her smile is soft but there’s something in her eyes I can’t read. “Duke…”
“I know it sounds crazy, but what if we try to make it work? I love you, Roxanne. I want to try. I know I’m not going to be able to say goodbye in a week.”
She stands on her tiptoes and kisses me, slow and sweet under the Colorado stars. “I love you, too,” she whispers against my lips. “I know. I’m never going to be ready to say goodbye either.”
I stop dancing and cup her face in both of my hands. “Then, we don’t.”
I kiss her and I don’t care who sees us. When the song ends, she pulls away just enough to meet my eyes. “Okay,” she says.
It’s not much of an answer, but it’s enough for tonight.
paper trail
DUKE
Roxanne doesn’t bringup what I said the night of the barn dance again, and I decide to let it lie until we get closer to her departure date. With only a few days left, Allie and Leo have stopped filming. Leo has taken over part of the library in order to get a jump start on some post-production editing.
Allie is spending every waking moment with Topper, and I can’t wait to razz him about having to pick up the slack with his missed chores. Roxanne is back to writing late at night in the library, and I’m there to come down, rub her shoulders, and carry her up to bed.
I thought we were settling into our life nicely until that morning that would change the trajectory of my life forever. Jameson wakes me up before the sun by licking my cheek. I blink the sleep from my eyes, roll over, and notice that the bed is empty beside me. Roxanne sometimes gets up when she thinks of something and goes downstairs to write it out before she loses her thought, so that’s probably all it is.
Since Topper agreed to take over the rounds this morning, I fall back asleep, knowing that Roxanne will return to my side. Thesun streaming through the curtains wakes me up again around eight, and when I reach for Roxanne, she’s still not there. Her usual spot is cold, which tells me that she never came back to bed.
I truly hope she didn’t fall asleep in the library again, but I trudge downstairs, calling her name as I go. The strange thing is, the sharp smell of coffee is already wafting out of the kitchen. She really must not have been able to sleep if she got up before me.
When I enter the kitchen, I freeze. It’s not Roxanne, it’s Topper, Allie, and Rusty sitting around my dining room table. Jameson stomps on his food bowl, but the clanging sound is nothing compared to the thumps my heart is making in my ears.
“Hey, Duke,” Topper says, rising to his feet.
“What …” I start, trying to read their expressions. “What’s going on? Where’s Roxanne?”
Topper and Allie exchange glances, and she sucks in a long breath before she answers. “I’m so sorry.”
Now they’re scaring me. “Allie? What happened? Is Roxanne?—”
“She’s fine,” Allie says. “She … her and Leo left?—”
“Left? Where?”
“They’ve gone back to New York early, son,” Rusty says.
The words don’t make sense at first. They just hang there, heavy and wrong. Topper rushes to my side to keep me steady as my legs feel like they’ve evaporated.
Not again. Not fucking again.
Questions blow into my mind like popcorn over hot oil.Was it my nightmares? Did I push too soon? How could she say okay and then leave without saying goodbye?
“Sit down,” Topper says as he tries to help me into a chair. I don’t mean to be an ass to him, but I push him away. I shake my head, not willing to believe any of this is real.
