A rueful chuckle escaped his lips.
I didn’t want him to think I had allowed that assumption to stand. I rushed to add, “Don’t worry, I set her straight.”
“Did you? And how did you do that?”
“Well, of course I told her it was my idea to keep everything under wraps.”
His hands paused massaging my feet for a moment before he continued.
“Good. Now that it’s all out in the open, we can wear our wedding rings.”
I wasn’t expecting him to say that.
“Umm,” I stammered. I didn’t know what to say. The thing was, I didn’t know why I was hesitant to wear a wedding band, but I was. “I don’t think we have to.”
Ryan shook his head. “I disagree. It’s time we wore our rings. We are married; everyone knows, so thereisn’t any reason we shouldn’t be wearing them. Unless you have a reason we shouldn’t.”
No, I didn’t have a reason, but I knew he was waiting for an answer. “We aren’t ‘that’ type of married couple.”
The pressure on my feet intensified as his tone turned suspicious, his words laced with a sharp edge that made my heart race. “What kind is that?”
“You know…” I searched for a word to convey my feelings. The one I settled on wasn’t ideal but would do. “…real.”
He quirked an eyebrow, doing an uncanny imitation of The Rock. “We aren’t real?”
Before I could answer, he added, “Tell me what about us isn’t real.”
“We got married because it was practical and what was best for the baby.” I ended my statement with a nod, unsure if I was trying to convince him or myself.
Ryan gave me an indulgent look. “Maybe it started off that way, but our marriage has been more than just about Regina and has been for a while now.”
“Ryan…” I opened my mouth, ready to deny what he claimed, but he didn’t let me finish.
“Let’s not start lying to each other, especially not when things are going so well.”
Being around Ryan felt natural. We laughed, talked, and the chemistry was undeniable. Our time together before the baby came was special, but having him aroundfull time felt different.
I tried to chalk it up to being deprived for so many years and the pregnancy hormones. Part of me knew there was more to it, but I couldn’t bring myself to face the truth. The ring symbolized a commitment I wasn’t ready to fully embrace and wearing it would force me to confront the emotions I’d been avoiding.
“Come on, Sunshine, tell me what you are afraid of?”
Damn, would he always be privy to my thoughts?
“Afraid of? That I might confuse our feelings for each other with something that isn’t real.”
“Since ‘real’ is the word of the day, my feelings for you are real. As much as I love our little girl, our marriage isn’t just about Regina. I care about you, even before I knew the baby existed.”
Oh!
This would be the time to ask him where he disappeared to for four months. I formed and reformed the question in my mind while he looked on at me expectantly. My chest tightened, and my thoughts swirled with a mix of curiosity and hesitation. I wanted to know—I needed to know—but the words felt heavy, trapped somewhere between my mind and my mouth. In the end, I didn’t ask. I told myself it’s not my place, that I didn’t need to know. But deep down, I wondered if I was just afraid of the answer.
Finally, the “Okay” fell from my lips. A little too loud, but it was loaded with all the things I wasn’t ready to say.
“Okay?” he questioned.
Of course, he didn’t let me off the hook. With one word, he pushed back.
“Yes, I acknowledge our marriage is more than about our little girl.” My body went rigid as I waited for him to respond.
