“Because…” I drew out the word. “…he didn’t. I’m the one who wanted to keep things under wraps. Why would he want to keep it a secret? It was his idea to get married, not mine.”
“Wait, I don’t understand. We are best friends. Why are you keeping things from me?”
I wasn’t in the mood for her guilt trip. “For the same reason you kept whatever was going on between Chase and you a secret. Some things are just between the couple.”
“That wasn’t the same.”
I cocked an eyebrow at her but remained silent.
“But we are family, closer than any sisters.”
“It doesn’t mean you know everything about me, Amara,” I snapped.
Amara’s hurt expression deeply affected me, leaving me torn. I valued our bond and didn’t want any secrets between us, but I was still navigating my own emotions. Between adjusting to life with a newborn and Ryan’s unwavering support, my feelings were in flux. He wasn’t just a co-parent—he felt like a friend, a lover, and maybe something more. The thought of explaining this to my cousin was overwhelming, especially since I hadn’t fully made sense of it myself. It was a moment of clarity but also of uncertainty.
“I get what you’re saying. I’m not trying to pry. Fuck that. Yes, I am. Everyone is entitled to secrets, but trust me, sometimes it’s good to turn to the people closest to you in matters of the heart. You always keep that stuff so close to your vest and never share, but this is big.”
“I didn’t want our wedding to turn into the big show yours was.” I’d stick to that explanation; it was partly the truth.
“I get that, but there seems to be more. While I don’t know all your secrets, I think I know you well enough to know that.”
“Marriage means different things to different people.” Hell, I wasn't sure it meant the same thing to Ryan and me, but I would give a united front. “I didn’t want our family, including you, pressuring him about our reasons for getting married. It is between him and me. He isn’t some teenage boy that got me in the family way, but that is the way everyone acted when they found out I was pregnant. We needed privacy to navigate what was the best way to move forward.”
As if she hadn't heard a word I said, she asked, “Do you love Ryan?”
“Our focus is making sure Regina has the best life.”
“You knew that doesn’t answer my question.”
I know it didn’t. It was purposeful on my part.
Thankfully, the front door opened. Ryan and Chase returned. They had left right before I needed to feed Regina. Ryan didn’t like us out of sight but understood I needed to feed her. While he was fixated on watching me breastfeed, he felt uneasy with another man in the housewhile I did. Ryan’s discomfort stemmed from his protective nature, not a lack of trust. He respected my need to care for Regina but preferred privacy during such moments. His unease only highlighted his commitment to our family, even if it sometimes clashed with practical realities.
Ryan glanced at Regina, but when his eyes met mine, he was at my side in an instant, leaning down to ask in a hushed tone, “Is everything all right?”
“Yes, of course.”
What was I to make of how quickly he picked up on my discomfort?
After our guests finally left and Regina was down for at least a few hours, Ryan’s strong, warm hands cradled my feet, his fingers kneading away the tension with firm yet gentle strokes. The soft hum of the room faded into the background, replaced by the soothing rhythm of his touch. Then he lobbed a grenade, disrupting our moment of peace.
“So, what were you and Amara discussing that got you so upset?” he asked. His tone carried a mix of concern and curiosity, as if he could sense the weight of the conversation lingering in the air.
“She wanted to know why I hadn’t told her we were married.” I fiddled with a wayward thread on the blanket in my lap.
Before I told him why, I first wanted to know how Ryan knew I was upset. “How did you know something was up?”
“It was in your eyes.” He shrugged, as if his ability to read me wasn’t a big deal.
Ryan didn’t elaborate, which was okay by me; I wasn’t sure I wanted to know anymore.
“I noticed you didn’t deny that she upset you, so what did she say?”
“Amara was upset with me because I hadn’t told her we got married.”
“And?” he pressed.
His perception made me uncomfortable. “Before I set her straight, I think she thought it was your idea to keep everything a secret.”
