Making sure I had my bottle of whiskey, I turned my back on Paris’s burning corpse and got to the car. The trailer was so remote it would probably burn until morning when someone was bound to see the smoke in the daylight. By then, there would be no evidence left on her. I felt confident assuming her death would be swept under the rug once they figured out what she did for a living.
October 17th 2021
He almost killed me.
I swear it was on purpose. At least it’s fall now, and the cooler weather won't bring attention to the long sleeves and the turtle necks I’ll have to wear for the time being.
I honestly thought he was trying to kill me last night. We hadn’t had sex in a while, so of course when he was being sweet and trying to initiate some form of intimacy, I wasn’t going to turn him away—I couldn’t risk it. I had asked him a long time ago if we could start trying new things. I’ve always wanted to branch out sexually. The books that I read, though they aren’t a guide for how to get into the kinks that are in them, at least get me curious.
He wouldn’t stop choking me. We had established a safe word and a safe way for me to ‘tap out’, only he ignored me. I couldn’t say anything once it was over, though, he reminded me that he had done that because I had asked for it. What argument did I have? None, I had none. I didn’t want to start one either.
I was able to get him not to stay the night. I don’t let him stay the night much since that would mean putting Riley in his crate the entiretime. I wasn’t sad to see him go as I saw the bruising on my neck in the bathroom mirror.
Chapter twenty-nine
The Phoenix
October 9th 2023
Release day couldn’t come fast enough. It was both exciting and daunting thinking about being back out in the real world. Here, safely tucked away in the clinic, real-world problems couldn’t reach you. Even after the photographs Craig had sent, I haven't received anything else from him. I was safe within the walls of the hospital's behavioral wing. The only monster that walked those halls was one I trusted with my life.
Daxton may have been a monster in his own right, but he was my monster, though, the exterior embodiment of my inner demons. He brought them to the surface and basked in their shadows like a moth to a flame. The past week, he had filled most of my waking hours as well as the moments I spent in the depths of my subconscious when I was fast asleep. He had also filled me in ways that would have lost him his job if anyone at the clinic had found out our sessions were more hands-on than strictly just talk therapy.
Kendi was the only person who knew about my newfound obsession with my therapist, and I trusted her as much as I trusted my own sister.A goodbye with her was bittersweet. As far as she’s come in her own program, she still had a few days before she would be discharged.
She currently lay on my perfectly made bed as I packed what little belongings Michelle had brought me during my stay.
“I’m going to miss you,” she said weakly. Kendi had such a soft heart, yet she was one of the strongest people I had met in my lifetime.
“You’re going to see me in a few days, and possibly more after that if Dr. Faris can hire you on. You’ll see me so much you’ll get sick of me,” I teased as I tossed a scrunchie at her. She caught it before it smacked her in the chest and smiled.
“I could never get sick of you. You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met. I guess I’ll have to get used to sharing your attention on the outside, though.” One thing I had learned about Kendi over the past few weeks was that she didn’t make close friends easily. She was friendly—a lot of people loved being around her, basking in her sunny disposition—but close friends that she could truly open up with, those were harder for her to come by.
“I promise my sister is going to love you, she’s excited to meet you, and everyone at the vet’s office will love you too. They may be a small group, but they’ve been a huge staple in my life for the longest time. I know you’ll be the perfect fit to work with us.”
“Is she still going to be staying with you when you get home?”
“Until the police at least locate my psycho ex.”
“He’s still missing?”
“The last Daxton heard from his cop friend, they still didn’t have any new leads on his whereabouts.” Kendi knew every detail, other than Daxton technically being a serial un-aliver. I would trust her with the secret, it just wasn’t mine to tell, and I wasn’t about to break his trust. Other than that small detail, she knew everything, and it felt good being able to confide in someone that you just knew wasn’t going to betray you.
“Are they any closer to believing you didn’t try to kill yourself?”
I shook my head, putting the last of my clothes in the bag and zipping it closed. In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have spent so much time folding and organizing my bag when security was just going to search it again on my way out. It was too late to change that now.
“No, I think Officer Johnson believes me, but they can’t open an investigation into it. They weren’t even able to get anything off the photos he sent, just that it was probably dropped in a mailbox and not an actual post office.”
“Do you think he’ll try something when you leave?” Concern laced her words, outside these walls, we were all vulnerable, not just to harm from people like Craig, but triggers that could cause us to end up at rock bottom again.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I wouldn’t put anything past him at this point.” I wanted to tell her I didn’t think he would do anything, that hewas all bark and no bite, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say those words when I didn’t believe them.
“I worry about you,” she admitted, sitting up and placing the scrunchie on top of my bag sitting at the foot of the bed.
“I’ll be fine, Kendi, I promise. I’ll have my sister, and my dog hates him, so if he comes into my house, I won't be unprotected. Riley’s already got a taste of his blood. I'm sure he’s itching to get more.” I sat on the bed beside her and let her hug me.
“You’re still eating breakfast with us, right?” She pulled back with a single tear sliding down her flawless dark skin.
