“I told you that you weren’t ready for this. That we needed to work on coping skills before.”
“Closure. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah. I get it.” Which all would have sounded much more condescending if his throat hadn’t been so scratchy and his nose so stuffed up from crying like a damn pussy.
“Shut up and listen.” Landon smacked him in the back of the head.
But when Gavin turned to swear at his brother, he saw Landon’s eyes full of tears too.
“The doc knows what he’s talking about. So shut it.”
Gavin hadn’t seen Landon cry in forever. So he shut up and turned back to Lee.
“Your friends. Mick, Luke, John. They’re gone. Forever. And their wives and sisters and children are moving on. Growing. Learning to live and love again. You told Nicole to find someone special. But you aren’t allowed to?”
Gavin shrugged.
Landon smacked him again. “Answer him.”
“Is this some alternative form of treatment?” Gavin asked, snappish. “Quit fucking hitting me.”
“Answer the fucking question.”
“Fine. Look, those women are good people at heart. I’m…not.”
“Bull.” Landon said before Lee could talk. “Whoever was in your crosshairs was not a good guy. So don’t sell me that line. You and your stupid, warped sense of fair play. Look, when the enemy is ripe for the plucking, you fire. Period. And you save countless lives from being blown up or tortured the next day when the enemy’s plans would have succeeded. You did your job. You killed. You survived. Fucking move on, or put the gun to your head and pull the trigger.”
“Landon!” Lee stood up.
Now he’s concerned?
“Make a fucking decision. We’re Marines. We don’t waffle. We don’t second-guess. You do or you die. How can you not know that? If it came down to sniping a guy intent on gutting me tomorrow, would you do it?”
“Yes.” Gavin didn’t have to think about that.
“Then what the hell is your problem?”
“What if they weren’t all guilty?”
“What if, what if. We don’t playwhat if. We go with our orders and our guts, and we deal. Becausewhat ifis making you like this.” Landon looked him over. “And you hate it, don’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“I hate it. Lee hates it.”
“Well,” Lee said. “I don’t—”
“Zoe hates it too. She’s waiting for you to get your head on straight and go grovel at her feet or some shit.”
“She is?” She didn’t hate him?
“Dumbass. I told you that like three times already, but you had to go sleep off another emotional bender.” He grabbed Gavin by the shoulders and shook him. “That’s your redo button. Use it. Get yourself together. Talk to Lee.” Landon stood. “No more pity cards for you. Yeah, you were in the shit. Biggest shit there was, I bet. But it’s over, Gavin. Decide to heal and move on. But make that decision and stick to it. Okay?”
Staring up at his big brother, hearing and understanding it was okay that he’d come through started to penetrate.
“We love you, Gavin,” Landon said gruffly, his eyes still shining. A tear slipped free, and he angrily wiped it away. “Stop with all this bullshit, and get your ass back to the gym before Mac fires you. And for God’s sake, get back with Zoe before she goes out with that loser who keeps sniffing around her asking what’s wrong.”
He blinked. “Swanson?”
“I don’t know his name. But Ava said he was sexy. Not cool.” Landon grabbed him by the collar and hauled him to his feet, then crushed him in a bear hug. Two seconds later, he left Gavin alone with Lee.
