“No, what makes him stronger than you is several inches and more muscle than a god might have,” I pointed out, attempting to lighten the mood a little.
Simon scoffed, pulling out a dagger from a sheath on his thigh and spinning it in his hand. “Not even that. With my knives, no one in the clan can beat me. And I’m learning hand-to-hand with my bondmate. He’s taught me a few moves I can use on an opponent much larger than me. Size doesn’t matter. I’m not weak because I like to get fucked.”
My face flushed even hotter, and I felt the urge to fan my face. Simon didn’t seem to notice, thank the goddess, still ranting about how sex had nothing to do with strength. I wanted to believe him, but I found it hard enough to accept facing my parents’ wrath if they ever caught me with a man. I had always been curious, and in my room alone, I’d touched myself with my fingers a bit, but never with another person.
“Doesn’t it hurt?” I hadn’t meant to ask that out loud, but for some reason, I felt comfortable speaking with Simon about this. He, more than anyone, had the expertise I could trust to give me the right information.
He cut off his tirade, answering with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Not if he does it right, no. There’s a little burn when stretching, but no outright pain. If there’s true pain, he’s doingit wrong.” He narrowed his eyes on me. “Are you interested in anal sex? Because this conversation is moot if you aren’t. There are plenty of ways to get off together without penetration if that’s not your preference.”
“I…” I’d never been one to be shy about my exploits or my interests, but it felt awkward to admit out loud. It was the one thing I never admitted to wanting. It was too dangerous. “I’ve thought about it. Just never attempted it. I didn’t think it was safe to do so.”
Crossing his arms, Simon scowled. “Well, you’re safe here. Your family is more than a week’s ride out. They aren’t showing up any time soon, and if you don’t tell them, they’ll never find out. If you’re curious, then I say try it. And if Uttin does it wrong, tell me. I’ll give him pointers.” He smirked, buffing his fingers on his tunic and blowing on them. “I am an expert, after all.”
His snark broke the tension, and I threw my head back and laughed. Whether or not I gave in to my curiosity and tried it, I was glad I’d spoken with Simon. It felt good to know there were others out there who didn’t relate sex to strength. I’d always thought it was connected, but it was possible I was wrong.
Something I’dneveradmit to out loud.
UTTIN
I glanced over my shoulder to check on Zakai. He was deep in conversation with Simon, his eyes alight with exuberance for whatever they were talking about. Knowing those two, it wasn’t anything good. I’d need to keep an eye on Zakai tonight to make sure Simon hadn’t told him to do something he shouldn’t. Thatlittle brat was known to throw handfuls of clay at me when he was displeased. I didn’t want him teaching Zakai the same thing.
“How is he?” Orthorr asked, following my gaze to the duo by the fire.
Humming, I gave my attention back to Orthorr. “Cold. He complains if I bring him out of my tent. But he is doing his best to learn our tongue to pass the time, and he’s making headway in that endeavour.”
Orthorr nodded in acceptance. “Good. Keep him happy. We don’t want him exacting revenge on us.”
It wasn’t for my clan that I kept Zakai happy, but I didn’t say that to Orthorr. I didn’t want him getting the wrong idea. I knew I couldn’t keep the little prince. What we were doing together was just for fun until the storm passed.
A small part of me felt sad about that. After the last few days, I was starting to feel regret that he wasn’t a tribute. I enjoyed his sass and his pout. I enjoyed finding new ways to make him agree to practice with me until he was too busy moaning to say another word. I enjoyed the mischievous grin on his face when he stole my clothes each morning in an attempt to keep me with him. He was everything I never knew I wanted. And I hated that I couldn’t keep him.
Drawing in a breath, I let it out slowly, pushing the thought away. It would do me no good. Zakai would return to his home as soon as the snow melted enough for us to travel safely, and I would stay here and care for my people.
“You will begin training today,” Orthorr reminded me. “The worst of the storm has passed, and you need to prepare.”
A muscle ticked in my jaw. I knew a great many of my brothers wouldn’t challenge me if I sought the position of clan leader. I’d been the clan second for years now. But instead of a vote or something of that nature, I was expected to fight any whoopposed me. It wasn’t a practice I agreed with. Fighting skill was only one aspect of strength. A true leader needed to have more.
“I have requested Einar train with you. Go now and meet with him. The young prince can stay here. There are many guards to watch over him. No more avoiding this, Uttin. You need to be prepared. I will not remain clan leader forever, and you are the best person for the job.”
He said that, but I still didn’t agree. But I knew what he would say if I argued with him. It was better to just accept his words and move on. And hope that Einar the Feral didn’t gut me while sparring. He didn’t like me much after I’d attempted to come between him and his tribute before they were bonded. I hadn’t wanted Matthew to make his choice out of fear. Einar had never forgiven me for that.
My mind wandered to Zakai and what we would hopefully get up to once I returned. If I survived my training with Einar, that is.
Sixteen
ZAKAI
When Uttin returned to me, Simon and I were in deep discussion on the magic of barbarian cock. Apparently, there was a difference between them and those possessed by the rest of the world. Simon’s bondmate had made him come hands free their first night together. As a former whore, it had never happened to him before. He took this as a challenge but had yet to manage to make his barbarian come first. Since he had made me come so thoroughly during our time together, I found this fascinating. Such a skilled sex worker should not have been so easily overcome.
“Tavi,” Uttin said, interrupting our conversation. Simon snorted at the word he used, and I swung around to look at him with a frown.
“What does that word mean?”
He opened his mouth to answer, then seemed to change his mind, waving me away. “It’s a term of endearment. Ask him what he wants. I want to hear more of your skills.”
Rolling my eyes, I gave Uttin my full attention. “Asshole. What?”
Simon barked out a laugh at my own nickname for the barbarian, but I didn’t look at him. I fought off a smirk, raising an eyebrow at the exasperated look on Uttin’s face. I’d never taught him what the word meant, but he was aware it wasn’t flattering.
