“Perish the thought. How about I lead?”
“I think that’s perfect.”
Chapter Eight
Lukafelthimselfbeingled, and he watched the apartment going by as they moved slowly to the bedroom. It was like the crescendo of a piece during a play, the band starting slow, the volume as low as a whisper, and then as it went the tempo sped up, the volume increased until everyone’s heartbeat felt a jump.
His heart was doing a hundred and fifty miles an hour; his senses were all tuned on overdrive, knowing that he was committing to something real.
When he’d joined the drama department in high school because of the prodding from his English teacher, Luka found he was amazing at acting. It wasn’t like it was hard, after all. Poor people acted all the time. Each time they were worried over their bills but added a sun-is-shining/life-is-good post on social media, it was acting. Placing on a smile in the middle of the crisis that never ended, that was acting.
So, he excelled at it and won a scholarship to a school that most people would kill get into, and he was there, roaming thehalls, learning everything he could stuff into his mind just so he could use it all to make money.
That had been so important to him he forgot the only other thing in life he was lacking.
Love.
Oh, family love, he’d had that when his mother was home. But that guy to look at and feel his body shaking from need…
So quickly, Benson had become that for him. The man was cute as hell, always smiling, always flowing with compliments that didn’t feel a bit contrived. Yeah, Benson was the one who had made him see that money wasn’t everything.
He was in Benson’s bedroom. The bed was huge, a brown and rusty-orange duvet with pillows of every shape and size. His taste, or his choice of decorators, was perfect. It was like him, clean lines, simple and yet beautiful.
“Are you sure? Luka, I would die if I moved too fast and hurt you in any way.”
“Don’t die on me, right when I found you.”
He was kissed softly, as if Benson was unsure. That soft, sweet kiss told Luka so much about the guy.
He was an optimist. Luka knew he needed that in his life, but he was also stable. Luka knew just by speaking to him a handful of times that Benson wasn’t flighty, wouldn’t suddenly remember he didn’t want a boyfriend. He wouldn’t drop him after sex, wouldn’t lose his number after their first argument.
Luka had been so focused on his career that finding love didn’t seem important. Well, maybe it wasn’t until he met Benson and felt that tug in his heart.
“Don’t hurt me, Benson.”
“I won’t hurt you, and I don’t think you’re going to hurt me either.”
Luke felt tears welling in his eyes, and one escaped. Benson kissed it before it could roll down his cheeks, and then he sharedthat salty tear with Luka, silently assuring him that any pain they gave each other would never be purposeful.
Luke melted into their kiss, feeling his shield falling away. That shield, which had gotten him through the last few years, protecting him from the pain of feeling like he just wasn’t good enough. With Benson, he felt good enough. He felt like he was finally enough.
Benson laid him on the bed, slowly moving his hand from his chest, over his neck and finally cupping his cheek gently. “I’ve seen no one so beautiful as you are.”
“You make me beautiful.”
“No, honey, I don’t. You make yourself that way; I’m just holding up the mirror to make sure you know it.”
Luka knew he’d met Benson at the perfect time in his life, and as his clothes slowly shed from his body, he knew without a doubt he wanted to give himself to Benson in a physical way, but so much more than that. He wanted to give his heart to the man too.
Benson was bare-chested and gorgeous. He never acted as if he were as handsome as he truly was, but that was also part of his charm. His smile alone was bright enough to rival Broadway, but his body, so lean and toned, and his gorgeous eyes, his eyes that looked right into Luka’s. That told him Benson wasn’t hiding a thing. He wasn’t pretending or lying to get something.
He was naked on the bed, staring up at Benson with a vision that blurred from the tears that still welled there. They didn’t come from sadness, but so much emotion couldn’t be contained. Those tears were falling because he was overwhelmed by his own happiness. That was so rare for him, he barely knew how to handle it, but that was the rub. He didn’t have to handle it alone.
Benson held him, kissing his lips and jaw as Luka let the emotion release, and he realized it was more than happiness. For the first time in years, he was letting go of the pain, the fears, thestruggle he felt at every obstacle. Benson was letting him release it all, and he took it, holding it for him.
“Luka, you are so special to me. You’re so good, and beautiful. It’s okay, baby. Just let it all out, and then we’ll move into the future together and strong.”
Luka nodded against his chest. “I don’t know why it’s all coming right now.”
