“I love you, Dakota, but Nina’s a bitch who never deserved you. She was toxic as fuck and made you think you’d never be happy without her. She always put you down to lift herself up.”
“Stop!”
Casey watches me for a second, and I hate that she can definitely tell I’m starting to cry. She softens. Delicately, she reaches up to wipe a tear from my cheek with the pad of her thumb. She takes both my hands in hers, and I instinctually intertwine our fingers.
“You deserve the whole world. To feel loved every single day. To be treated like the special, amazing woman you are. To be appreciated and adored. You deserve it all, and if hooking up with someone else will help you move on and see that? I will a thousand percent do this for you.”
“But won’t it make things weird?” I whisper. “You’re my best friend.”
“It doesn’t have to. If you’re worried or not comfortable, we don’t have to do anything.” Her thumbs gently stroke the backs of my hands. “I know Nina is the only person you’ve been with. I know you’re scared. And I want to help you. If you want me to, it can be as simple as that.”
My stomach flips. Do I want her to?
There’s a part of me that knows there isn’t a person alive I’m more comfortable with than Casey Greene. With the alcohol warming me, and the heat radiating off not only the water of this hot tub, but Casey’s skin, I consider it. I’ve always found Casey attractive, but I met her after Nina, so I’ve never once thought about anything more. And then she became my best friend. People don’t have casual sex with their friends, right?
Casey is patiently waiting as I take her in. Her cheeks are tinted pink. Is it the alcohol, or is she nervous? Something about the idea of my confident, gorgeous, and experienced best friend feeling even a fraction of the anxiety I am relaxes me. My gaze drops lower to her pillowy lips. They’re parted and a little wet. I wonder for the first time what they would feel like. She’s kissed the topof my head before, but the sensation was muted by my hair. Would her lips be soft against mine?
My thoughts dip to her mouth on the most sensitive spots of my body, and I shiver. My thighs squeeze together as I realize I want to know what they feel like.
“We can go slow,” Casey says, her voice soft and reassuring. She tucks a strand of wet hair behind my ear then lets her fingers linger. Her thumb grazes my jaw, and I inhale sharply. My chest rapidly rises and falls.
“We’ll do only what you’re comfortable with,” Casey says. “And I promise I’ll make you feelsogood.”
My core floods with heat as desire burns inside me.
“Okay,” I whisper because I want it. I want her to touch me. I want her to make me feel good.
“Okay.” The corners of Casey’s mouth tick up in a smile. She cups my face with her hand and leans forward, her lips parting, when a phone dings. Then dings again multiple times in rapid succession.
“What the hell?” Casey grabs her phone, her eyebrows furrow before a vicious scowl overtakes her features. “I’m so sorry, Dakota,” she says, while putting the phone to her ear like she’s calling someone. She stands up and climbs out of the hot tub.
I frown, confused about what’s happening. “Who is it?”
“Marcus.” Casey rolls her eyes and grabs her towel. Into the phone, she spits, “Why the fuck are you here?”
My eyes widen, and my mouth falls open. He’shere?
“You need to leave. Seriously, Marcus. This isn’t fucking cool,” Casey barks into the phone. “No, I’m not coming outside—It’s none of your business who’s here.”
I wrap my towel around my body as Casey begins to pace.
FuckingMarcus.
I’m not surprised he showed up here. He’s been texting her off and on all day. Casey once confided in me that she and Marcus purposely get under each other’s skin to make a fight worse because it makes the make-up sex ten times hotter. If history is any indicator, they’ll be back together by the end of the night.
Chapter Three
Imet Casey at my second kickball game. She had to miss opening day, so I didn’t realize she was also on the team until the Tuesday after my marathon date with Nina. When a teammate introduced the cute blonde to the “newbie,” Casey grinned warmly and asked me my name. I really liked her smile, so much so that it threw me off—leaving me stumbling over my own damn name. But I couldn’t believe my luck. For the first time in my life, I was letting myself embrace my attraction to girls, and I was put on the one kickball team with all the prettiest women?
Casey was pulled away by our pitcher to discuss strategy before I could coherently tell her my name. I didn’t have time to feel embarrassed. Nina caught my attention as she arrived at the field. Her radiant smile was locked on me, and I didn’t think about anyone or anything else.
I didn’t have a real interaction with Casey about anything other than kickball until halfway through the season. We were at a sports bar when a conversation sparked about unsupportive families. I hadn’t come out to my parents or brother yet. So I kept quiet and listened as myteammates, normally boisterous and full of constant laughter, grew serious and sincere.
Casey talked to our third basemen about shitty family member reactions. While Casey’s parents struggled initially, it was the disapproval from her favorite aunt that stung the worst. Having parents who are workaholic surgeons, Casey was closer to her Aunt Tina, who basically raised her. All that changed when she came out as bi her junior year of high school. Her aunt didn’t get it. She thought if Casey was attracted to boys too then there was never a reason to date girls, as if Casey could ignore and erase a part of herself. When Casey told her aunt she was going to date who she liked regardless of gender, her aunt told her she no longer wanted anything to do with her. My heart hurt for Casey and the way her hands shook before she hid them under the table and how shiny her eyes were with unshed tears as she spoke.
I didn’t say anything to Casey that night, but a week later, I brought it up to her. Nina had two dads and the most supportive extended family. We spent all our time together, and she kept begging me to let her “share her girlfriend with the world,” but I was so paranoid about my sexuality making it back to my conservative small town, I wanted to keep us offline. She didn’t understand why I was afraid to come out, but she tried her best to be supportive. Still, it was hard. I wanted to talk to someone who got it. Someone who knew what it felt like to have a worst-case scenario happen, because I was terrified the day I told my parents I’m a lesbian would be the last conversation I’d ever have with them.
So when I told Casey I was really sorry to hear about how things went with her aunt, she sighed and said, “It is what it is, I guess.” We sat there in silence. We had adoubleheader that night and were on break between games. Casey and I were sitting in the empty dugout, the rest of the team scattered either grabbing snacks, using the bathroom, or hanging out with their friends or family in the crowd.
